You'll Never Lose Me (Never 4)

I look back at Roxie and… her eyes are closed. Bloody hell, I knocked the psycho bitch out, what the hell am I waiting for?

I rush for the gun and swoop it up, half expecting her to jump up and come for me but she isn't. I must have kicked her harder than I thought, but I will think about that later, right now I need to check on Ivy.

Her head has dropped forward and her top is soaked in blood, her skin is clammy and cold to the touch. She’s dead. I touch her neck and I can’t stop the tears as I feel her pulse beat against my fingers, it’s weak but it’s there.

“It’s okay Ivy, I’m going to get you out of this. We are going to be just fine,” I feel as though I’m on the verge of laughing hysterically, but it isn’t happening yet so, there’s a plus.

I drag my hand through my hair as I pull my phone out of my pocket, she really was beyond cocky with the assumption that I wouldn’t get away. Why else would she leave my phone in my pocket? I can’t roll my eyes any harder than I am right now.

I dial the emergency services and I’m listening to the ring as I’m slammed from behind and my phone hits the floor, I can’t do anything but watch as the screen smashes and the last of my hope quickly disappears.

“You won’t get out of here,” Roxie screams as she grabs hold of my right hand; gripping hold of the gun and trying to get it away from me.

“Don’t make me pull the trigger,” I beg as we wrestle for the gun and the barrel points towards her.

“You don’t have the balls,” she snickers, we push and pull as she forces it out of my hands and smacks me across the face with the butt of the gun.

I fall down to the floor and watch as she points the gun at my chest, I lunge for it at the last moment and a shot ratchets through the air, filling the empty space. There’s blood everywhere and we just stand here, staring at one another with our mouths hanging open wide.

SEVENTEEN

THE BELLS TOLL as the coffin is carried out of the church and over to its spot, a gravestone waits patiently with their name freshly engraved within. A permanent fixture and a reminder that life is too short. My hand is resting against my stomach, waiting for the service to end so I can say my own goodbye, just a little more privately than everyone else.

“Are you okay?” Noah wraps his arms around me, resting a hand upon my own and clutching my fingers.

“I will be, it’s going to take a bit of time to get used to everything, to come to terms with it all. What happened and why, it still doesn’t make sense within my head,” I say softly, leaning my head back to rest against him, but I can’t take my eyes off the mourners.

“Do you think they know?” Comes from Harrison as he comes to stand on my other side and rests his hand on my hip.

“I was wondering the same thing myself, do you think the tears are real or are they faking it? Do you think anyone will even miss them?” I ask, cutting my eyes to him and taking in the deep bags circling his eyes.

He hasn’t been sleeping well lately, to be fair none of us have. I can’t go anywhere without having one of them following me and when I wake in the morning, it's to new additions in my bed. Harrison, Elijah and Noah, they can’t make it through a single night at the moment. Not that I’m complaining, I need them just as much as they need me. Even now, as I watch this ‘show’ progress, I can’t help the tightness that is forming in my stomach or how I want to bend over and hurl all over the damn place.

“How is she?” Sawyer asks, yeah he won’t even speak to me right now.

I don’t know if that’s his choice or because he’s been ordered not to by Devon, he really wanted to kill him that night and I’ve yet to find out why.

“She’s fine,” I bite out, rolling my eyes.

“Sorry little lady, I just wanted to come and say goodbye before I leave. I can’t stay any longer,” he says as he furiously rubs the back of his neck.

“You know I don’t blame you right, I don’t know what made you leave your post the night of the concert but it wouldn’t have made any difference. Roxie knew what she was doing and I’m sure she had a plan in place for you too,” I say softly, and I look at him and he is just as worn down as the rest of us.

“That’s what worries me,” he replies cryptically before coming closer and I pull away from my two guys and give him a quick hold before he smiles at me softly and walks away.

The sky is choosing this moment to unleash hell upon us, the rain goes from none to torrential in a couple of seconds, and the funeral attendees are running for their cars as fast as their legs will carry them.

“We should go,” Noah says, but he must know what I’ll say to that, I have to see it for myself.

“Go to the car, I’ll be okay,” I say, tapping my bag that is resting against my other hip, where a gun now rests. I hate carrying it, but I’m not ready to face the world without my courage just yet. Borrowed courage will have to do for now.

“We can stay with you,” H almost growls but I shake my head softly.

“Don’t leave Elijah alone for too long, he’s probably going out of his mind right now. Go back, I won’t be long,” I kiss them both on the cheek before walking over to the gravestone.

My black dress is soaked through and I can feel the water dripping through my laced sleeves and collar, my only saving grace is my pair of army boots, a pair of Ivy’s to be precise.

I trail my fingers across the writing and suck a breathe in through my teeth, I am still struggling to believe it’s all over and I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. For something to happen to flip my whole world upside down, for the final time. I’m lucky to be alive and I will never forget the look on Roxie’s face when she pulled the trigger. My lunge had been true, and the bullet tore through her stomach before lodging in her spine. I think the sight of the blood and Ivy’s barely moving chest will haunt me forever.