Every Day (Brush of Love 2)

In fact, there was something in my gut telling me the fox looked familiar, with its dark red coat and the white line cascading all the way down the length of its body.

“He has brown eyes,” Bryan said.

“I know,” I said breathlessly.

I knew the fox wasn’t John, even if that was the metaphor Bryan was pulling from it. It was simply a fox, an animal that hadn’t scampered into hiding from the cold yet. I tried to shake the familiar feeling permeating throughout my limbs, but as if John himself was watching over us, the fox bounced its head up and down. It walked toward us and stopped behind the gravestone. It whipped its tail along the granite, almost like it was cleaning it before it looked at us one last time. Bryan and I were frozen in our spots, unable to move or speak while the wild animal stared at us.

Then, in the blink of an eye, the fox was gone.

“Where the hell did it go?” I asked breathlessly.

But all Bryan could do was stay silent.

We stood there for what seemed like hours, searching for the fox while our minds raced with the possibilities. I turned my body into Bryan, shielding myself from the cold as his strong arms wrapped tightly around my body. I had no idea what to make of the scenario, and I had no idea what Bryan was thinking, but instead of turning to go, I heard him draw a deep breath through his nose.

“You made us better, John. Through your connection to us, you helped us appreciate art more. Hailey will never admit it, but I know you’re part of the muse she draws from when she paints nowadays. I know you’re the reason I’m still keeping this company going. Your presence and your inspiration made us better people and molded us into more compassionate human beings. I wish it could’ve done the same for Mom and Dad.”

My fingers threaded with his while I stood at his side, letting him say what he needed to say before the weather got any colder.

“I can’t help thinking I failed you, brother,” he said as his face crinkled up. “I can’t help thinking there was more I could have done. Every single time I offer one of my homeless men a part-time position at my company, I can’t help thinking of all the ways I could’ve used to convince you instead of yelling at you to come home. I keep thinking of all the things I could’ve said to you in earnest instead of saying them in anger like how much I loved you instead of how stupid I thought you were being.”

His shoulders shook with

his sobs as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close.

“I miss you every fucking day, John. I wake up in the mornings and want to call you. I go through my day and want to text you. My weekends roll around, and I still want to ask you how L.A.’s treating you. I failed you brother, and I’m so sorry.”

Bryan’s knees buckled again, only this time, I sank to the ground with him. Our arms wrapped around one another as the wind kicked up again, and it swirled around us while our tears drenched the ground. We were becoming one with the many souls that had traveled through this cemetery, crying the same tears we were crying now. We were watering John’s grave with our regrets and our sadness, hoping he was somewhere where he could hear us. The wind grew harsher and harsher as our sobs grew louder and louder, and eventually, we were pressed so closely to one another, I wasn’t sure where I ended and Bryan began.

But the moment our sobs finally died down so did the wind.

“I’m sorry, John,” Bryan said breathlessly. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I cupped his cheeks and turned his reddened gaze toward mine. I pressed his lips with mine, willing his jaw to stop trembling while his arms stayed hooked around my waist. While our tongues slowly found one another’s, we stood, our legs finally growing the strength they needed to hold our weakened bodies upright.

“Let’s go get you some hot chocolate,” I said, whispering.

“That sounds like a good idea.”

We looked back at John’s grave one last time before we both heaved a sigh of relief, our bones aching from the cold while our throats ached with the flood of tears we’d just shed. I held Bryan’s hand while we silently stood there a little bit longer, the weight of the world crushing his shoulders while I sprinkled his arm with kisses. I nuzzled my cold nose into him, pulling the smallest of grins across his cheek as his eyes found mine. But then I saw his eyes gravitate over my shoulder, a shocked look crossing his face as I turned to see what he was staring at.

It was the fox with its uncanny brown eyes and the white stripe down its back, only this time, its tail was waving at us.

Almost as if it was waving goodbye.

Chapter 20

Hailey

“What do you think you’re going to do?” Anna asked.

“I don’t know. I want to try and advertise the formal gallery somehow. Bryan’s dead set on having it, and I think it’s a good idea,” I said.

“What about putting up fliers across San Diego. I could help you with that,” she said.

“I don’t know. I thought about that, but it seems ...”

“Tacky? Juvenile? High school-ish?”