Illusion (Billionaire in Disguise 2)

“I have no idea why you’re explaining this to me. I was only coming to track you down. I get that we’re safe on this island, but you still shouldn’t leave me behind.”

“Oh, cut the shit, Sam. This is ridiculous.”

“What is?” I asked.

“You came up to that restaurant to find me after a night of passion. After I admitted to you that I was falling in love with you. And with that dress and those shoes, you were coming to sit with me. To dine with me. To talk with me.”

“I came in this dress and these shoes because they’re the only things I have to wear. If I remember correctly, someone instructed me not to pack.”

“Then why did you run off, huh?” he asked. “If you were only coming to guard me and do your damn job, then why did you turn and run?”

“Because I’m pretty sure having your bodyguard approach would’ve been a very serious cock block.”

“Are you really doing this?”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific,” I said.

“I admitted everything to you last night, and now after one little hiccup, you’re pushing me away again. I saw the hurt in your eyes, but I also saw the smile on your face before you found us. Before that woman pushed herself onto me. You were opening up, Sam. You were coming to be closer to me because you wanted to be with me. At least be able to admit that to yourself.”

I clenched my jaw, keeping a hold on my tongue as I stared out over the ocean. I didn’t like this. I didn’t like him being able to break me down and read me like this. No client had ever given a shit when it came to knowing me, and now that one of my clients had, I didn’t like it. I felt exposed. I no longer had the upper hand. I was fighting a losing battle with Derek verbally pinning me to the mattress.

And what did I do if a man had me pinned to the mattress?

I knee’ed him where it hurt.

“It’s not my fault you’re looking for comfort in all the wrong places. I can see why Jacob pulled the wool over your eyes. It’s pretty easy to, given only four chance encounters between us has clouded your vision of our arrangement.”

I felt him freeze, his eyes locked on me as my words sank in. I felt the last of my walls go up. I felt the ice of my heart finally settle in. I was back, and in an odd way, it felt good being closed off and contained in the dark. I reeled my emotions in and stuffed them away, dimming the beauty of the island that surrounded me. The water seemed murkier, and the sun didn’t shine as bright. I could no longer feel the warmth trickling through the limbs of my body. The hot tub was no longer enticing, and my heart no longer hurt.

My brain was no longer screaming, and the war that had been raging was now silenced.

“I have never been with a woman like you before,” Derek said softly. “You’re beautiful. Strong. Intoxicating. Stubborn as hell and smart. Very smart. You think well on your feet, and you have this tick about you where you ... you need permission to enjoy things. And I love giving you permission. I love fulfilling that part of you. Watching the way you let go and allow your body to experience the world around you.”

I sat there, my hands in my lap and my body completely still. I was on high alert, my eyes gazing out toward the water. I was looking for boats trying to come in or people trying to swim up. I was listening out for footsteps heading up the pier and started clocking how many exits we could make if things went horribly wrong. I was sinking back into old patterns, clawing my way back to my job and trying to remove myself from the endless warmth of pleasure I experienced whenever I was around Derek.

It was hard, but I managed to do it.

Mostly.

“Valerie and I, we were terrible for one another. I was getting over the first true woman I’d ever dated. Lisa Blatacky.”

“The shrewd businesswoman,” I said.

“Yes. Her. Valerie was my rebound, and we worked because she was rebounding too. She was a socialite who lived off her parents’ money and turned her nose in the air to anyone who didn’t have the kind of money she did. She was gaudy and a complete snob. I was the butt of all her friends’ jokes because I hadn’t made a specific amount of money to deem me worthy of their time while we were dating.”

“Sounds like a peach,” I said.

“I’m not proud of that time in my life. She was the only woman I dated who I couldn't see myself with. I dated her for the sole purpose of getting over Lisa and nothing else.”

“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

“Something like that, yeah. Not my shining moment as a man, but that was all she was. She ended things with me after I started pulling away. I stopped attending her expensive parties where I was the butt of all the jokes, and she didn’t like that. Sent me a text message and that was that.”

“Nice story,” I said flatly.

“The point is, she didn’t mean anything to me then, and she doesn’t mean anything to me now.”

“And my point is that I really don’t care. What you do with your body and who you do it with is none of my business. We aren’t in a relationship, we aren’t dating, and we sure as hell aren’t in love.”