Touch Me (You & Me 2)

“I was... happy. Life was simple and we were having a good time. I’d say the first red flag came when he asked me to quit my job. He couldn’t understand that I was in line to be taught by one of the most respected chefs in the world. He was embarrassed to say he was dating a waitress. I can remember a time he told me about lying to a friend by saying I was an aspiring actress and that waitressing was just how I paid the bills.

“That’s a common story in LA, but it wasn’t mine. I didn’t understand why my truth wasn’t enough for him, but that was just it. I was never enough for Tim.”

Ben had to force himself through a deep breath as he listened to Katherine reliving such painful memories. He could tell how hurt she was by everything that had happened—not just the previous night, but in her life in general. Ben hoped she found some sort of relief from sharing the story, but hated that all he could do was rub her knee to show his support.

“He wanted me to fit into a tiny box, and I loved him, or at least I thought I did, so I twisted and squeezed myself into that box as much as I could manage. By the time he proposed, he was the center of my universe. Everything started and stopped with Tim and his career. I quit my job at the restaurant soon after we were engaged, because I didn’t want him to have to tell his friends that his fiancée was a waitress.

“That was the beginning of me breaking off pieces of myself, in order to be who I thought Tim wanted me to be. He was still kind most of the time at this point, but he was growing tired of the partners at his firm. Wanting more independence, he decided to buy them out and go into business for himself.

“After our huge wedding, his new firm launched. We would always joke that our wedding anniversary was also the anniversary of his business.” Katherine shook her head, a soft laugh falling from her lips as she lifted the mug for another sip of tea.

Ben followed suit, wishing he had finished his tea earlier because it had gotten cooler than he preferred. Katherine didn’t seem bothered by it, taking a break as she recalled her life.

“I’ve never owned a business, but I imagine that it’s stressful,” Katherine looked to Ben for approval, but he offered none. For him, business had not been the stressful endeavor that people wrote about in books. When his business took off from his dorm room in college, Ben continued to follow the wave of success quicker than his counterparts, so he had never been able to relate to the overstressed, underpaid entrepreneur.

“It got bad fast,” Katherine sighed. “He had bought a huge house—I think he thought it would impress me—but it was cold and foreign. No matter what I ever bought, nothing could make that place feel like a home. I think Tim had overextended himself on the mortgage, and he was constantly stressed about finances and his career.

“Everything was about moving up in the industry, and I was just another piece of his puzzle. We would go to events four nights a week so he could meet clients and rub elbows with celebrities, but it was clear early on that I was the more likable of the two of us, and at every function I would get more attention than he did. I secured his first big client, actually,” Katherine smiled proudly.

Ben returned the smile, remembering how charismatic she had been at Will’s charity event. He could imagine that an insecure man would find it difficult to be overshadowed by someone as beautiful and smart as Katherine. Ben thought of how valuable she must have been to Tim if she was securing business for him, and shook his head at the idea that Tim didn’t realize the advantage he had.

When Katherine began telling her story, Ben made a silent promise to himself to withhold any questions so that she wouldn’t be interrupted. Now, he was curious about so many things—like what Tim did for a living, and why Katherine had given up cooking altogether after quitting her job at the restaurant.

“He didn’t like me helping him, because that made him feel like his success wasn’t his own. That was how Tim wanted it. Everything had to be about him all the time. But I didn’t mind taking a backseat. I was only going to the events because he wanted me to, so if I was being too outgoing, I was happy to turn it down a notch.

“Tim wasn’t for that, so he just stopped taking me as frequently. I was thrilled with that plan. Freeing my time up meant I could finally focus on my culinary dreams. I understood that Tim didn’t want me learning at a restaurant because of his reputation, but I thought he would find college or private lessons to be an acceptable alternative.”

Ben knew before Katherine continued that Tim wouldn’t be reasonable about her desire. Any man who cared so much about what others thought of him would never want her to achieve success on her own. It sounded to him like Katherine had married a profoundly insecure guy who defined himself by his success.

“Turns out, Tim just didn’t want me to follow my dream at all. He was rude about it, and like always I just let it go. Looking back, I think it was my letting it go that always pushed him to go further. I never stopped him, or stood up to him. Whenever Tim wanted something, I gave it. Any change he thought needed to happen, I conformed. I thought that was what a good wife was supposed to do.”

“It’s not your fault, Katherine. Nothing he ever did to you was your fault,” Ben urged, pulling Katherine closer to him.

“First, it was little stuff. He would insult me, about the smallest things. It was mean, but I thought it was harmless. He was going through a lot at work, and I didn’t want to add to the stress, so I didn’t want to fight. He’d try everything to bait me into arguments, cursing and screaming, but I just took it. I don’t know why I didn’t fight back,” Katherine shook

her head as if she still couldn’t understand her behavior.

“Sweetheart,” Ben whispered, his heart breaking at the turn in her marriage he knew was coming. He had heard enough, and didn’t want to force Katherine to go any further.

“I want to tell you all of it,” she assured him, looking into his eyes to show her sincerity. “He started manipulating me emotionally—telling me he was going to do one thing and then intentionally not doing it, just to hurt me. He stood me up on a vacation once. I got all the way to the airport, only to get a call from him. Tim said he had gotten stuck in traffic on the way to the airport. That there was no way he could make it in time, but he promised to reschedule. He was laughing at me when I got back to the house. Tim hadn’t packed a thing—he never intended on going.

“Even that wasn’t too much for me. It was just in the last year before I left that he started hitting me. It was rare and almost always after one of his Hollywood events with his famous clients. The pressure of success was hard for him to manage, and I was his punching bag,” Katherine reasoned.

“You’re not anyone’s punching bag!” Ben shocked Katherine and himself with his outburst. Unable to contain his disgust, he had to correct her.

“Thank you,” she smiled sweetly, placing her hand over Ben’s as he rubbed her knee. Realizing how tense he was, Ben tried to lean back against the sofa to relax. It was hard listening to Katherine’s heartbreaking story, and he knew it was about to get worse.

“The physical abuse was my breaking point. It happened again and again, and while he always said he was sorry, it continued to escalate. I made a plan and started quietly saving money. He was very generous after he’d hurt me, with gifts or an increased allowance. I kept it in a back account so it was safe no matter what. Then one evening, without giving him any warning, I left. All I took with me was one bag of clothes. The rest I just left behind. Everything he had bought me while we were together meant nothing and I didn’t want any of it. Though he accused me of it regularly, it was never about his money, what he had, or what he could do for me. I thought we loved each other and I wanted to share a life with him.

“So, I got, but of course, he didn’t let walk away easily. And he has enjoyed making my life hell for the entire two years since I left.” Katherine shook her head again, looking sad and frustrated.

Ben’s eyebrows rose with interest as he contemplated her last statement. “Wait. What? You left him two years ago?” That had been one of the burning questions he’d had since he saw the obnoxious man at the charity event. “He’s still bothering you after all that time?”

“Yes. Before last night, I hadn’t actually spoken to Tim in over two years,” Katherine clarified, looking into Ben’s eyes as if she knew just how much the answer to that question meant to him.

“Why are you still married?” Ben asked the number one question he’d been asking himself over and over.

“Tim is one of the top defense attorneys in LA. With his connections and resources, I can’t fight him in the court system. Not fairly, anyway. I knew it would be a disaster if I ever tried to take him to court, and honestly, I was afraid of really getting hurt. So, I've just been on the go—hopping from one place to the next, trying he keep two steps ahead of him since I left,” Katherine explained.