Falling in Love Again: A Valentine's Day Proposal

“Hello there, Raelyn,” I say awkwardly. As she turns to look at me, a wide smile automatically spreads across her mouth which makes me smile back. I can’t seem to help it, she’s irresistible. “How’s it going?”

“Good thank you.” She wipes her hands on her jeans and glances around. “I think we have it all under control.”

“Right, well that is good news. I’m glad to hear it.” Why am I being so awkward? What the hell is wrong with me? “If you need anything, you know you can just come and talk to me…”

“That’s very kind of you, thank you. That means a lot to me. But actually, I think we have it all under control at the moment.” She smiles again. What is wrong with my heart? “Thank you for your offer though.”

I nod slowly, wishing I could have something cool to say here. Something to fill in the slight awkwardness clinging to the air. But my brain has run completely blank. I’m hopeless, useless.

“So, that’s good.” Raelyn nods, clearly awkward. “I guess I better get back to it.”

“Well, I will just be in there. So, come to me if you need me.”

I point behind me and she nods. I can almost see it written across her face that she knows that so she has no idea why I’m saying it. That just causes a deep cringe in the pit of my stomach which I need to get away.

“Okay well I’m off now. I have… you know, stuff to do.”

“Sure. I will see you around then, I guess.”

Urgh, I have definitely forgotten how to speak to women, that’s so clear now. As I turn and walk back inside, I curse myself. I did use to be a completely different person, a man who was smooth and could get all the women. Now I’m struggling to have a conversation with a smart business woman who I have a lot in common with.

6

Raelyn

Days passed rather quickly, it becomes a blur, I can barely keep track on what’s happening. Things have started to move fast, we are now producing a whole lot more and making a chunk more money too, which is great, but it’s keeping all of us extremely busy. I work and sleep, that’s pretty much it, I’m just so exhausted.

Our office might be separate to that of Carter’s but that doesn’t mean we don’t see each other. It happens more than I thought it was going to actually, which is frustrating. Because we’re sharing the production line, we run into each other a lot. It’s annoying, I would rather not see him at all, and it’s awkward too. But we’re getting on with it as much as we can. Trying our hardest to keep out of each other’s way.

“Excuse me.” Almost as if I have conjured him up just by thinking about him, his voice bursts out from behind me, reminding me that I’m standing in front of the photocopier, day dreaming. “Are you using that?”

A heat creeps from my toes to my face. “Er, yes I am actually. I just need to get this done.”

“Do you think you could hurry up? I need it now. I’m not used to fighting for it.”

That might be true, but there is no need for him to be rude. He isn’t always like this. Sometimes, he is just uncomfortable, other times quiet, but when anything winds him up, he seems to take it out on me. It’s almost as if he doesn’t know how to speak to other people. Or maybe just women since there really aren’t any others here.

I want to ask him what his issue with the female gender is. It’s weird, something must have caused it.

“Right, well I am just about to finish up,” I say instead. “I just need to get these done.”

“I would prefer if you focused rather than staring into space. You look foolish when you do that.”

It’s clear from the vein popping in his head that this isn’t really about me, but I take it to heart anyway. It hurts me, crushes me, makes me feel sick to my stomach. I wish I could find some confidence to say what I mean.

“I know, I was just thinking about what I’m doing next,” I snap back. “Sorry if that offends you.”

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head at me, almost as if I’m just an irritant. If this is how he treats other people, then maybe it isn’t by his choice that he hasn’t spoken to women for a long time. Perhaps they don’t want to speak to him! I sure as hell wish that I didn’t have to. I rush about getting everything done quickly, so I can head out. I need to get back to my office and away from him so I can scream.

“Done. There.” I glare at him. I can’t say what I want to but I can glare. “I’m out of your way.”

“Good, that makes me very fucking happy. Now I can get on with my day.”

I seethe all the way to my office and slam all the papers down on the desk, yelling through my teeth. Leon sees what’s going on with me and consults with one of the guys for a moment before coming to see me.

“What’s going on?” he gushes, looking at me with panic. “Are you okay?”

“It’s just fucking Carter. Again! He is such a rude prick; you know? No, you don’t know, do you? You don’t see it because he doesn’t treat you like that. Just me because his issue is with women.”