Falling in Love Again: A Valentine's Day Proposal

“She’s with her mom,” Leon pipes up. “She’s looking after her because she’s sick. But that doesn’t matter. We are all here to take care of things. We don’t need Raelyn around.”

“Can you get in touch with her?” I snap back, still in a furious temper. “If you get stuck?”

Leon shrugs. “I’m sure we can. But you are here too, aren’t you?”

“I do not have time to oversee something that Raelyn wants. You think I’m her employee or something? No, I have my own work to be getting on with. If you cannot do it then we shouldn’t bother…”

“We can do it,” Leon reassures me. He darts his eyes towards Gary who betrays me and nods too. “We can do it; I’m not concerned about that. I was just meaning if we needed to… but we won’t. We won’t bother you.”

They are already bothering me. Everyone is. I would love to just be left alone so I can get on with things. “Right fine, whatever. You should all just get on with it then. I want to see the results. No more bullshit please.”

“You will. I promise you that you will. We will show you just how good we can be.” Leon nods desperately.

I huff, this isn’t really what I want to hear. I would much prefer some proper answers as to where Raelyn is.

“Right good.” I wave my hands dismissing them all. “Now get on with it. I don’t want any more wasted time.”

They all rise from their chairs and leave the conference room in silence, desperate to get away from me. I don’t blame them, I don’t much want to be around me either, I’m a nightmare at the moment. But how can I be anything else when I have been betrayed by a woman once more? It brings all the memories of Anna screaming back. The scars that she left behind re-open and now I’m gaping and exposed for everyone to see.

“Why did you leave?” I mutter into the air. “Why didn’t you stay? To talk about it all?”

She could have just had a frank discussion with me. Even if she told me that it was all a silly mistake and that she didn’t ever want to do it again, if she just wanted to return to being work colleagues, I would have been fine with that. Well, not fine exactly, but I would have accepted it. Got on with it.

“What is it about me that makes me impossible to talk to? Why didn’t Anna tell me the truth? Why is Raelyn doing the same thing? Is it me? Am I the one who is to blame for all of this? I guess so…”

I am the common denominator. It has to be because of me. I should have known better. My life was easy during that period when I didn’t have any women in my life. It was simple and straight forward, I knew what I was doing all the time. As soon as I change that for even a second, everything is in turmoil again.

I gather up my papers and leave the conference room, trying my hardest not to think about the first day we met in person, the time when I realized that she was a woman and I knew that everything was going to change for the worst. I could sense it deep in the pit of my stomach, in my bones, and I ignored that urge. Why did I ignore that? Why didn’t I just send her away before it got out of control?

Her eyes. That was the problem on that day. I got sucked in by those big beautiful eyes of hers. She intrigued me, and amongst all things, I just wanted to get to know more about her. I could sense that I would be fascinated by her and I was right. I am… but all it’s done is left me with a deep hollow pain in my chest. A little bit like the one I experienced as my marriage, my friendship, and the life I had created melted away into nothingness.

A moment of fun has led to a long period of unhappiness afterwards. Was it worth it?

Well, now I know. I guess I just had to learn that lesson for the second time. At least I didn’t foolishly get married to this one first. We just had sex the one time. Well, like I said, never, ever again.

In my office, my head continues to spin. I need to speak to Raelyn, we can’t just leave this hanging forever, it’s ridiculous. She can spin any lie about a family member being sick all she wants, but I don’t buy it. I know she’s just keeping out of my way, which is affecting business and everyone in here, we need to end this.

I grab my cell phone and hit the call button. I press the receiver so hard against my ear I’m sure that it will leave an imprint, but I have to really feel it to believe what’s happening.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

I pace the room, my eyes flickering over everything as I wait for her to pick up.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

My temper bubbles and boils, I can feel a deep ache in my blood. If she doesn’t answer soon, I don’t know what I’ll do. She can’t just ignore me like this as well. It isn’t right. It isn’t fair on anyone.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

“This is Raelyn Owens. Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now, but please leave a message and I will...”

“Argh,” I cry out angrily, hitting the end call button. “What the hell?”

I’m pissed off now, utterly furious. I feel like my heart might blow up under the intense pressure of it. All I need to do is to get out of here, I need to do something other than be in this place, it has too many memories, too much hanging on it. I need to be somewhere which doesn’t hold any memories of Raelyn.

I stalk out the building with only one destination in mind. The bar across the road. That’s where I need to be right now, in a place where I can have a drink and feel much more like myself. I don’t often get drunk, but today I know for a fact that I’m going to have a few to block her out.

“Hello, Ryan,” I say through gritted teeth as I take my seat at the bar. I won’t take any of the tables because I know that I can see the office from there, and that will allow me to still think about her. “Whiskey, please.”