“That woman? Why are you speaking about her like that? She seems perfectly lovely to me. In fact, we had a perfectly lovely conversation and I think that she’s sweet and very smart, like I said to you…”
“Well, she isn’t.” The image of her with that man kills me again. Him opening the car door for her, being near her, making her laugh, giving her enjoyment that I can’t, learning about her life like I never did… urgh, it’s just so damn hard. I hate that I’m even thinking about this at all. “She’s horrible. She’s nasty.”
“Horrible? No, there’s no way she’s horrible. I spoke to her about all sorts of things…”
“Oh, and you are such a perfect judge of character, are you? Don’t give me that, Mom.”
Mom is silent for a beat too long before she answers me. “What has gotten into you? What’s happened?”
“Nothing has happened. I’m just going to work. I don’t have time for this. Nor do I have the patience.”
“I don’t believe you. I want you to explain it to me. I’m your mother, I know you better than you think I do. I also have your best interest at heart and I want to help you if I can.”
I yank the phone away from my ear and rub my forehead hard. I can’t stand this; it’s going to kill me in a moment. It’s bad enough that I can’t escape Raelyn easily, I don’t need to talk about her as well.
“Mom, I’m explaining nothing. I’m leaving. I will talk to you another time.”
She tries to talk to me some more, but I’ve already hung up. She’ll give me hell for being rude later, I know she will. She won’t let me get away with that easily. But that’s an issue for later on, a problem for the future. For now, I just need to have tunnel vision. To just get through this day. This horrible, nasty, painful day that might just finish me off. I haven’t even got to the office yet and I feel it tearing me apart.
I grab my car keys and head out the door, the rage now inflamed and burning brightly. I so wish that my mother would just keep out of my business. It’s annoying that she’s so obsessed with my love life. Even if I understand this, I get that she just wants me to be happy, but it’s my choice, and my opinion was right. My gut instinct was the one that I should have followed, but stupidly, I did none of that. I allowed myself to act foolish.
Instead, I allowed myself to be open and vulnerable, I exposed myself to pain and that’s exactly what I got. A deep seated agony that isn’t going anywhere, especially not today of all days.
I park up, not in the space I was in last night, and I force myself out of the car. It’s killer, I can feel it aching my joints, but I’m not going to show even a scrap of weakness today. I can’t. I guess looking rough isn’t helpful, but I can bypass that. Somehow. It’ll be fine… mostly because it has to be.
Come on, I warn myself. Just do this. The first moment will be the hardest.
The first time I see Raelyn and our eyes lock together, it will kill me. I’ll know and she will too. Unless she’s already known all this time. Maybe this guy is someone that she’s been with throughout. A boyfriend, or at least a guy she’s dating. It would be pretty weird to have a first date pick you up from the office. Oh God, is it the other way around this time? Am I the other person in this scenario? Is that why she ran away the first time around? Because of guilt rather than the fear that it’ll become complicated. I can’t be blamed because I didn’t know, but it still feels shitty. How the hell could Daniel do this to me with no guilt whatsoever? What sort of psychopath would do that? And he was my best friend, the person that I was closest to at the time. Not a stranger.
I duck my head down and make my way inside, thinking only about Daniel as I go. It helps to block everyone else out and allows me to get into my office without being disturbed by anyone. Particularly her.
I lock the door behind me and slide into my chair, grateful to have made it this far. I can hear everyone talking outside and some of them mention me, not that I can hear enough to know what they’re saying, but I’m not going out there. I’m going to spend the time getting everything I need to do here.
“Is Carter in there?” Oh God, it’s Raelyn. She’s right outside the door. Just what I don’t need. “Did you see him?”
>
“Er, I don’t know to be honest,” Gary replies. “I haven’t see him so far. He might be.”
Whether he’s just being loyal and he can see that I don’t need visitors, or that’s the truth, I don’t know, but I’m grateful all the same. That answer means I can get away with hiding for a little while longer.
“I’ll just knock,” Raelyn continues. “There’s something I want to discuss with him.”
Either this is going to be her brazen faced lying to me, acting like everything is normal and there isn’t anything going on… or she’ll tell me that she’s met someone else which I don’t want to hear right now. So, when she knocks, I ignore her. I remain as quiet as I can and silently pray that no one gives me away.
She knocks for a while, but eventually gives up and goes back to her own office to leave me alone. I won’t be able to get away with this forever. Soon I will have to face this, whether I like it or not…
Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
“Fuck.” At first, I think this is going to be Raelyn calling me, because she couldn’t find me in the office, but it isn’t. It’s a number that I don’t recognize, which means it could be a business call.
It’s time to get in to work mode, to remember what I’m doing here.
“Hello, Carter Lace speaking.”
“C… Carter?” It’s a woman and she’s sobbing. I sit up straighter, my brain desperately trying to place this person. “C… C… Carter, I need to… to speak to you. To… to see you.”
“Anna?” Is this for real? Am I in some sort of a nightmare here?