Sinful Protector (Roughshod Rollers MC 2)

But now…

The rational part of my mind is telling me to show this note to Kyle. This does involve him now. Jesse is now threatening me with Kyle. He’ll leave me alone if Kyle leaves. Or he’ll come after me if I don’t get rid of him.

The stubborn side of me, the part that is currently winning, is reminding me that this is still my fight. Not Kyle’s. Kyle has already shown himself to have a darker streak when it comes to Jesse. I don’t want to encourage that.

I pause and then tuck the card into my robe. There’s only one thing to do then, isn’t there?

I have to find some way to get Jesse out of my life. But I know that I won’t be able to do that while Kyle is around. So I need to remove Kyle from the equation until Jesse is gone.

I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I also don’t know how long it will take. But, this time, I’m going to see it through. No more just running and hoping he won’t follow me.

Then, and only then, will I be free to live my life.

It takes another hour for Kyle to wake up. When he leaves the bedroom, he’s fully dressed. I’m sitting at the table, sipping my second cup of coffee of the morning. By now I’ve planned exactly what I’m going to say, and what reasons I’m going to give him.

This is going to be painful. But it’s necessary.

“Morning,” Kyle yawns.

There’s a mug of coffee on the counter that I had made when I heard him stirring. He picks it up gratefully and turns to smile at me.

I don’t smile back.

“Morning,” I return quietly.

Kyle blinks as he takes a sip of his coffee, and then he lowers it. He frowns.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

I take in a deep breath. It’s now or never.

“I’ve just been thinking,” I say. I sit up and look him in the eye. “First…I’m really sorry, Kyle. I’ve been sending you all these mixed signals because I didn’t know what I wanted. But I think I’ve figured it out now.”

“That’s okay,” he says.

He looks confused. But there’s a dawning understanding in his eyes, as though part of him has figured it out. His fingers are tense on his cup.

“So, what do you want?” he asks slowly. “Whatever is, I’ll support it, I promise. Even if…”

He trails off. He knows what I’m about to say. I give him a half smile.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should be together,” I say.

His expression doesn’t change. He takes a sip of his coffee and watches me, his eyes searching mine.

“Why?” he asks after a moment. “Am I allowed to ask?”

“Of course,” I assure him.

This is the test. Does he believe me? There are faint frown lines on his forehead, but he doesn’t seem overly upset. Or is he just holding it together for my sake?

I push the thoughts down. We’ve known each other for a week. We only agreed yesterday to start a relationship. This break-up won’t be as hard as it would be if we’d been together for weeks.

At least…I’ll try and convince myself of that.

“I really enjoyed last night,” I told him. “I liked getting to know you. But…we’re really different, Kyle. We don’t have anything in common. The closest thing we have in common is that I write poetry and you write songs. And even they’re vastly different. We don’t like the same music, the same movies, the same food. I’m at college and you’re…”

“A deadbeat mechanic,” he says flatly.