Her Perfect Gift

She huffs with irritation, but I know that I am slowly working her around to my way of thinking. I have to be, don’t I? Because I am not going to back down.

“I don’t know what to do with all of these offers, though, Seth. I thought this was what you wanted.”

“It is. It was. I don’t know what I want at the moment. My head is all over the place.”

&nb

sp; “Okay, well I guess I don’t have any choice then,” Sierra finally accepts. “I don’t have any option but to sit back and wait for you to be ready, again. You know, you are making my job hard. I can’t manage you when you won’t let me. I don’t know what to do with you…”

I tune out, refusing to listen to the rest of the conversation, I don’t need this guilt trip. I don’t need Sierra to try and pull me back in when I have so much going on. Things that I haven’t even told her yet. I am not going to mention anything to do with Darcy and this possible pregnancy until I know what’s going on myself.

“Right,” I eventually take the step to interrupt her. “Well, I need to go now, so I will speak to you later.”

I hang up before she can rant at me anymore. I just don’t need the pressure, I don’t even want to think about Hollywood and new projects. There is no chance in hell that I can start on anything else until I have seen Darcy again. This isn’t about closure anymore; this is about discovering the truth.

“What’s going on?” Dad asks me as he wanders into the kitchen after a day out with one of his friends. Something that I am very pleased about since it’s a great sign that he’s dragging himself out of bed and his pit of depression.

“Oh, just Sierra. She wants me back for the promo work and to sign up to my next project…”

“You aren’t going, are you? Not without finding Darcy first. You can’t just let this slide by…”

God, what a turn around. For a man that always made me believe that sleeping around and never growing any attachments was the way to live, he might be turning a new leaf. While it’s been hard for him to learn about my mother, it has also done him really well. He’s moving passed everything at last.

“I know, I told Sierra that I’m not coming back yet. I didn’t say why, I just said that I need to be here. She’s just going to have to understand that I have other priorities right now.”

“These management types are all the same.” Dad shakes his head in irritation, probably thinking back to his own career where he had people trying to control him as well. “Bossy and annoying. I’m glad that you told her where to go because this is what you need right now. You have to focus on Darcy.” His face suddenly tightens up as if he is about to tell me something difficult. I stiffen up myself, wondering when the time will come for me to freak out. “I actually heard something today, in the diner. Something that… well, I don’t know if it’s useful for you or not, but I better tell you just in case it is what I think it might be.”

“What is it, Dad?” This has to be something to do with Darcy, it just has to. “Come on, tell me.”

“Well, there was a woman in there having lunch with her boyfriend, a lady called Ivy.” My heart sinks. This isn’t the ‘Amy’ that I have been trying to seek out, so I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up. “And she was saying that she has just been on vacation with a girl named Darcy. They went to New York and Darcy stayed there because that’s where she wants to run her makeup business and have her baby…”

“Oh my God.” I gasp loudly and clutch on to my chest. “Oh my God, that’s her. It has to be.”

“You think? I don’t want to give you something if it isn’t going to be right, but…”

“No, believe me, that is her. She’s in New York.” I gulp back a thick ball of emotion that lodges in my throat. “I have been looking in the wrong place. She’s gone, she’s in New York.”

She wouldn’t be here, I suppose, since her mother clearly isn’t accepting of the baby, and she didn’t want to come back to me in case I shacked up with Winter, which of course is ridiculous. So, she has moved on. She has gone on to somewhere else, to start a life of her own. Much as I am proud of her for being so brave, I yearn to be there with her.

My life is in LA, it has been for six long years, but that doesn’t mean it can’t change. I don’t know how that will work out, and my mind is darting too fast for me to work out how that will happen, the idea of being with Darcy, the woman that I love, and our child as well… it’s too much for me.

“You need to go,” Dad assures me. “You need to get out there and find her.”

“But New York is such a big city.” My heart thumps violently in my throat. “How will I find her?”

“Listen, Seth, you aren’t going to find her here. At least you know that she is in the big city, there, you will be closer. This isn’t just about you and her, this is about your unborn baby as well. You need to find a way to make it work. You have known Darcy McNeill for many, many years. If anyone can find her, you can.”

His words fill me with such confidence that I find myself nodding and agreeing with him. “You’re right. I’m going to book a plane ticket now and get out there. Figure out the rest when I land.”

“That’s good.” Dad pats me on the back and smiles reassuringly at me. “You can do this, you know. I believe in you. You are an inspiration to everyone. Me especially, since you know how messy I have made my own love life. But if I watch you do this, it will maybe inspire me to make steps in the right direction as well.”

Oh God, that’s a lot of pressure. But in a good way. Pressure in the way that pushes me to get off my ass and do this already. So, I grab my cell phone and I find the website to book tickets. As I go through the process and book my way to New York, I feel a lightness to my chest. I don’t want to leave my father to go back to LA, but I don’t mind saying goodbye to him for a while for this. I guess that shows just where my loyalties lie, what my priorities are, where I need to be. This is it; this feels good, I’m going to make it work.

I grin at my father, silently thanking him for giving me this courage, because I need it!

New York. As the plane descends downwards to the ground, my pulse begins to race that little bit faster. I’m here at last, ready to seek out the woman that I love, to finally do what I can to get her back. Because that’s what I know I need to do. I need to get her back. I can’t go for closure, I can’t go to see her and agree to co parent with her while she is in New York and I am in LA, I can’t just be her friend. I love her too much for that.

She made sacrifices for me, she came and tried out my way of life and it didn’t work out, so now it is my turn to do that for her. I will find a way to keep my career going, even if it has to be in a different way, I will show her that I am willing to make things work for us. Whatever she needs, I will do it.