Secrets & Lies (Roughshod Rollers MC 3)

It’s a terrifying thought. So I straddle Grant instead, not wanting to think about it at this moment. Grant is in front of me, needy and hard, and I want him so badly it’s almost painful. I’m wet with need, and I’m desperate to have him inside me.

Then Grant’s hands wrap around my hips, making me stop.

“Wait,” he says, his voice rough.

I almost ask him what’s wrong. Then his hand travels lower and his fingers circle my entrance. I gasp and arch my back, but I don’t stop him. Touching Grant is addictive. But having him touch me? It’s the most amazing feeling in the world.

Next, one of his fingers slips inside and I groan as he wriggles it around, rubbing against the walls inside of me. He pushes another finger in too, and he thrusts lightly while I hold his arms.

I almost whine when he pulls them out, but then his hips buck slightly, and I’m reminded that I have something much better waiting for me. Grant’s hands lightly grab my hips, and he guides me as I lower myself.

When his penis breaches me I have to pause. I’m so close to the edge, and he’s not far away from his second orgasm, either. I breathe in deeply, closing my eyes. Then I slowly sink down on him until I’m sitting in his lap.

“Fuck,” Grant whispers, and I have to agree. This is so overwhelming.

After a moment, though, my body twitches, and I know I’m ready to move. I tighten my hands on Grant’s shoulders and look up at him, meeting his eyes. Then I raise myself on my knees before thrusting down on him again. Grant groans and his hands on my hips tighten. When I next thrust down, his hips buck up, meeting me perfectly, and stars explode behind my eyes.

“Shit, oh god,” I groan, throwing my head back.

We thrust together again, and I know he’s hit my sweet spot, because pleasure rushes through me, so overwhelming that I almost can’t breathe. Heat is swirling around us, choking us and making us sweat, and my legs shake with the effort of holding myself up. We’re not going to last much longer.

Grant must realize this too. Suddenly, his hands are guiding me up and down, pulling me down to meet each thrust as we gasp and groan, the air around us full of slapping skin and heaving breathing. Black spots dance in my vision.

Then pleasure roars through me and I’m lost. Distantly, I feel Grant thrust once more before his body shudders, and then I’m swept away on a tide of overwhelming lust.

Slowly, my trembles begin to subside and I slump against Grant’s warm skin, panting. I feel him carefully guide me off him, and then I’m laying on the couch. I blink blearily at his face hovering over mine. I’m so tired all of a sudden; I didn’t sleep much last night after everything that happened, and now, suddenly, that’s catching up to me.

I want to say something to Grant. Maybe ask him to stay so we can talk. But the words don’t leave my mouth, and he doesn’t say anything as his hand hesitates before smoothing my hair out of my face. I close my eyes at the familiar sensation, an awful ache in my chest.

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Then the tides of sleep carry me away.

I can still feel Grant's fingers on me and in me, caressing my skin, the heat swirling around us, as I wake up. It takes me a moment to realize that my alarm has just gone off, but I don’t remember setting it. I glance blearily at the time and sit up straight as I remember that, in an hour, I need to pick Owen up.

“Shit!” I say.

I make to stand, and then freeze. I’m lying alone on the couch, completely naked, covered only by a scratchy blanket. Why…?

Then I remember.

“Grant?” I call tentatively.

He must have been the one to set the alarm. I see my day planner open beside the phone, the page turned to today, which has Owen’s pick-up time written on it. There’s no note, but it seems Grant remembered me mentioning that Owen was at daycare today, and set out to ensure that I wouldn’t forget to pick him up.

It would be sweet if I didn’t know that Grant’s actions had nothing to do with consideration for me, and everything to do with Owen. The fact that there’s no note makes this clear. He hasn’t even met his son and he’s already thinking about what’s best for him over anything else. I have a feeling that, if it wasn’t for Owen, there wouldn’t be anything left for me at all.

Grant is definitely gone. I don’t know how long ago he left after covering me with a blanket and setting my alarm for me, but there’s no movement in the apartment, so I know I’m the only one here. I glance at the phone. How did he open it? It’s password locked. Or does he really know me so well that he was able to guess the password that I would use?

I run an agitated hand through my hair. It’s a mess, and I should have a shower before I leave the apartment. But I can’t bring myself to move. I’m angry and hurt, and I’m also feeling a little ashamed of both myself and those emotions.

Grant isn’t here. He slipped out while I was sleeping, which is exactly the same thing that I did to him this morning. I have no right to be irritated or upset that he isn’t around.

Especially since we ended up having sex again. What are we, a pair of horny teenagers that can’t keep our hands to ourselves? More than that, this is the second time that I’ve initiated the sex. Grant might have been a willing participant, but he didn’t make a single move to start anything until I waylaid him both times.

I wish he’d stayed so we could talk about this. I let out a laugh that echoes hollowly around the apartment. I don’t have a right to want that. If anything, Grant leaving like he did is well-deserved karma.

I sigh and slowly pull myself to my feet. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Grant will definitely return; he knows about Owen now, and I have to talk to him about giving him time to see his son.