Secret Desires (Roughshod Rollers MC 4)

“He went out for a minute,” Allison says. Her brow furrows. “Do you know why he was so rattled?”

I wince.

“Ethan and I argued yesterday,” I say. “Sort of. I said some things, anyway. So, I figured we needed to talk about it, which is why I’m here.”

“Oh, that explains it,” Allison says, nodding. She grimaces. “What did the two of you even argue about? You guys never argue!”

“We both did something stupid, and Ethan made things worse when he tried to fix it,” I say vaguely.

Allison blinks and then rolls her eyes.

“You guys slept together, didn’t you?” she asks.

I cough, my face feeling overly hot.

“Is it that obvious?” I ask.

“It’s the only reason I can think of why you’re dodging the question,” Allison says with a shrug. “So, how did that happen?”

“Ethan was drunk,” I sigh. “I don’t know if he’s told you guys that Polly showed up out of the blue?”

“No,” Allison says, her eyes wide. “He’s probably telling Kyle about it now since they both went down to the bar to see Grant. Seriously?”

“Yeah,” I say. “Long story short, it’s been a real mess. On the other hand, he, Polly and Lily went out for lunch yesterday, and they apparently had a nice day.” I snort. “He’s a little paranoid that he’ll lose Lily to Polly, but I told him he’s being ridiculous.”

“I agree,” Allison laughs. “He’ll be alright. But, anyway, back to you guys sleeping together?”

“He’d only just heard from Polly, so he started drinking,” I say, rolling my eyes. “He was so drunk when I found him.” I sigh. “Then he kissed me and told me how beautiful I was…and I just couldn’t resist. So, we slept together. He tried to apologize for taking advantage the next day, but, if anything, I’m the one that took advantage.”

“Wow,” Allison says. “So, are you guys together now?”

“Of course not,” I say, snorting. “Ethan is just a friend.”

“And I’m the Queen of England,” Allison says, deadpan. “Come on, the way you guys look at each other…there’s definitely something there.”

First Hayley, now Allison? Why are they seeing something in Ethan’s feelings for me that I’m not? I still don’t know whether or not to believe them.

Then again, that’s why I’m here, isn’t it? To confess to Ethan and hopefully get some sort of answer from him, for better or worse?

Only, Ethan isn’t here.

“Did Ethan take his motorbike when he left?” I ask.

“Yeah, I heard him leave,” Allison says.

At least Ethan isn’t going to come back drunk, then. I bite my lip. Do I just wait here for him to return, or do I leave and come back tomorrow?

Will I be able to summon up the courage to do this tomorrow?

Abruptly, I know that I won’t. The combination of Hayley’s words and my own desire not to feel that regret have pushed me here tonight. If I sleep on it, though, I know t

hat things will be very different in the morning. I’ll start making excuses not to say anything again. I’ll probably use Polly as the excuse this time, convincing myself that the timing isn’t ideal with Polly on the scene.

No. Somehow, I have to do this tonight.

“Are you okay?” Allison asks,

“I’m…going to do something else stupid when Ethan gets home,” I confess. “I’m going to tell him how I feel. I just don’t know what will happen. Somehow, everything is going to change, no matter what he answers.”