Secret Desires (Roughshod Rollers MC 4)

“Your father and I need to have a long talk,” I explain.

Lily looks between us. Then, suddenly, she throws her arms around me and looks up at her father.

“Georgia was upset yesterday,” she says seriously. “Stop upsetting Georgia, Dad, okay? She’s an awesome mom.”

Startled, Ethan and I look at each other. I can feel Hayley shaking with laughter on my shoulders, and Allison, Kyle and Alex are smiling at us. Ethan clears his throat.

“Um…yeah,” he says. “I’ll be more careful.”

“Good,” Lily says with a firm nod.

I look down at Lily. How long has she thought of me that way? I feel my eyes burning as I lean down and gather the little girl into a hug, trying to collect myself. It shouldn’t be so much of a surprise, because I’ve done everything possible for this girl, but this is the first time she’s ever said it.

We wave everyone off, Ethan fretting right up to the last moment whether Lily has everything for tomorrow or not on such short notice. Finally, though, the door closes, leaving Ethan and I alone in the house. We stand, staring at the doorway, for long moments, neither of us suddenly sure of what to say now.

Then I gather my courage and turn to him. There are several things we need to speak about.

“There’s a few things I need to say,” I tell him.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ethan

I wince at the statement and cough awkwardly. I don’t want to do this. But she has the right to ask me questions, especially after I left her at the café on Thursday. I never gave her the chance to respond. I should have known she would seize the chance to do so when I invited her over.

Maybe this party wasn’t such a good idea, after all. But I wanted to do something for Georgia to show her how loved she really is, especially after I did my best to smash her heart to pieces.

“I’ll listen,” I assure her; I owe her this.

“Good,” Georgia says. She straightens her shoulders. “Did you really think you have the right to try and force me into a decision?”

Not what I expected her to go for first.

“No,” I protest, but I can’t look her in the eye. “That wasn’t what I was trying to do.”

“Really?” Georgia snorts. “So, you broke up with me because you wanted to, right?”

Fuck, this is not the way I wanted this conversation to go.

“I…” I falter, not wanting to answer that. “Technically, we didn’t break up because we weren’t really together.”

Georgia steps in close, far too close. I can smell the floral perfume I’ve always liked on her. I don’t take a step back, because that would show her how much she’s affecting me.

“You never even considered other options,” she says. “You just told me you’d break up with me, no matter what. Are you really that much of a coward?”

I reel back, shocked at her harsh words. I open my mouth to respond, but she starts speaking again before I can.

“We could have considered long distance,” she continues. There’s a hard look in her eyes. “Did you really think I was just going to roll over and accept you deciding what’s best for me? Especially when you can’t look me in the eye and tell me you want to leave me?”

“I thought that you wouldn’t come around to badger me about a decision I’ve already made for myself,” I accuse.

It’s cruel, but I need her to leave. It’s already been hard enough to tear myself apart from Georgia. She’s probably the only woman in the world that I’d ever trust and love again, and it can’t happen because I would only hold her back. Georgia could take on the world, and I’m just a simple construction worker in Philadelphia with a ten-year-old kid and a hell of a lot of baggage. She doesn’t deserve to have to drag me along behind her.

“Are you serious?” Georgia asks incredulously. “You and I both know that this is only happening because you got it into your head that you’re some sort of burden on me.”

I’m losing control of the situation.

“I don’t need you to take pity on me,” I snap. “You need to live your life, and leave Lily and I to ours. You aren’t Lily’s mother!”