Rock My World

“How?” I rasp, just about managing to get one word out.

“I discovered a picture of you online through a friend’s social media account. I haven’t told anyone yet, I’m the only person who knows, I just wanted to talk to you about it all…”

I can see the sympathy in her eyes. She knows it all, everything. I don’t have any secrets from her anymore. I knew that she would be good, I could see the talent within her the moment I spotted her, but now that’s backfired. Her instincts have told her that Jace’s recent visit here has something to do with my current state. I feel raw and muddy in front of her, like I’m lying out on the table naked for her to see it all.

“I don’t know what to say. I just… I don’t…”

“I’m not going to include you in my story, that isn’t why I’m here. Sorry, I probably should have led with that. It isn’t what I’m doing at all. I just wanted to check in on you, to see if you’re okay.”

“I…” A tear falls. Fucking hell, now the emotion hits me. Perfect.

“I’m sorry, Addison. I think I’ve done the wrong thing coming to you. I just didn’t want to sit on the information and know that you’re hurting. Then do nothing about it. That isn’t me. I’m sure you have an amazing

support group around you, but I just want you to know that I’m here if you need me.”

She jumps up, acting on impulse, and she throws her arms around me. I fall into her embrace and silently weep. I do have Luci, thank goodness. I almost lost her through all of this, but I still can’t talk to her as much as I’d like about this. Or more, I don’t want to. I don’t want to lean on her about something where I know her opinion is very strong. She warned me, I wouldn’t listen, I put him before her, and I was wrong.

“Thank you, Sandra, I appreciate it. But I need to get on with work.”

She nods and smiles and steps away from me. As she heads towards the door, I feel compelled to yell something else out. I can’t just let her go without expressing how truly grateful I am.

“Thank you so much for not putting it in the paper. I don’t want people to know…”

“You’re the managing editor anyway,” she teases. “You would just take it out.”

“Ah, true.” I nod and laugh. “Just one of the perks of the job.”

“Exactly. And you know what, I might tell Luke that the whole thing is stupid and take it out. An entertainment report doesn’t have to focus on relationships. I’m going to focus on the music instead.”

I grin and watch her go, feeling a tiny bit lighter. It is nice to know that I’m not completely on my own through all of this. I do have friends, even if they’re in the most unlikely of places.

But then my eyes drift back down to the page and I see Jace kissing his new girlfriend again, some up and coming YouTuber who is about to ‘break the Internet’ apparently, and everything sinks inside of me.

“It’s over.” I turn the paper over and try to forget about the image. “It’s done. It wasn’t meant to be.”

I hate all of that about destiny anyway. It was Jace who made me feel that way, not my own opinions. Fate can’t be real because it was us and our behavior - or more me and mine - that tore us apart. I made choices, albeit not good ones, there was no outer force that drove that. Thinking that was is crazy.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

I grab my cell phone and see Luci’s name on the screen. I breathe deep before I pick up. Much as I don’t usually like to talk to her about Jace, I know I need to today.

“Are you okay?” she gasps out before I even get to say hello. “Have you seen it?”

“Er yeah.” I turn the paper back over again, adding to my torture. “I’ve seen it.”

“I’m sorry, that must be really hard for you. He’s such a dick head.”

“Mmm, yeah I know. I guess you were right about him after all.”

I can blame myself for him leaving all I want, but the fact that he’s moved on so quickly says it all. He can’t have cared about me, just like last time he’s in bed with someone else and I’m alone. I’m a fool.

“Well, forget about that asshole. We don’t need to worry about him. I bet Hayley has been emailing you with loads of dates. When you’re ready, you can start up with that again.”

I better not tell her that I’ve already cut all ties with the dating agency, not yet. She’ll go mental, but I just won’t be able to settle into it. There are too many memories when it comes to Jace and I which I don’t need. I won’t be able to go on any date without wondering if it’s going to be him. That’s the last thing I need.

“Yeah, I am definitely not ready yet, but I’m sure I will be soon.” One last lie. I won’t do it again…

“Maybe we can go double dating. That could be fun. You and me, drinks and dinner, a couple of guys.”