Dirty Professor

It was all so soppy and romantic. So much so that, if he wasn’t completely love struck he would have lurched and vomited at the idea.

That didn’t happen, however.

What did happen instead was a springing into action that only concluded when he walloped that dick Jefferson around the head – and now, with no sign of caution or inner conflict whatsoever, he was prepared to go one step further.

‘Mr Furse, I can explain everything,’ Kurt announced and everyone turned his way to listen to his words, Darlene clearly the most apprehensive right then in hoping that he had found a convenient excuse for them both.

‘The truth is that this… Jefferson guy, did see me with your daughter and get the wrong impression.’

‘That’s right he got the wrong impression,’ Darlene butted in.

‘Yes, you see, I think he jumped to the conclusion that I’m something of a chancer who was trying to sweet-talk someone he once had eyes on – if you’ll forgive the terminology.’

‘Oh, I’m aware of how… of how young people talk,’ Clive responded, though looking like he was about to join his company’s co-owner with a visit to the emergency ward.

‘The truth is Mr Furse, that I have been dating your daughter.’

‘What?’ Darlene exclaimed, as Clive stared back blankly.

‘Yes, I have been dating her, but not for some wicked reason as this idiot is suggesting. No, I am in love with your daughter.’

There was a pregnant pause as Darlene’s second attempt to interrupt then caught in her throat.

‘Yes, I am in love with Darlene,’ he then went on, ‘and, if you h

ave no objection, I would like to ask for her hand in marriage?’

Then it was over to Clive and, before replying, he had to look around at everyone present to see that this was really happening. Clearly the information was taking a while to sink in and, by that point, even the half comatose Jefferson was sitting up and listening to proceedings.

‘In… in love with her you say,’ Clive replied at last, uncertainty hanging in the air. ‘Well, I don’t possibly see how we can stand in the way of such a thing and so sincerely delivered.’

Clive turned around to look at his wife, checking that there was nothing like disapproval on her face, before turning back and saying, ‘Kurt, I’ve known you since you were a delightful young boy and, though we still think of you like that in some ways, it’s clear you have since grown into a man. Please be assured that we have no objection.’

Kurt managed a smile in hearing such favorable words, but he knew that the request was completely out of the blue and that was only the half of it.

Turning around to look at Darlene then, Kurt saw that she was still in a state of shock. At best perhaps thinking this was some ploy to outwit Jefferson; at worse she was completely mortified that he was taking such a drastic step.

‘Darlene, I’m sorry this is unprepared and that I have no engagement ring as yet,’ he told her, ‘but, as your father says, I am sincere. I am in love with you and wish to ask for your hand in marriage.’

The wait, between asking for Clive’s blessing and speaking to Darlene had made Kurt nervous. After he had gotten the words out he took a big gasp of air and then realized how scared he was in case it was all too weird and she said ‘no’.

There was a wait… an insufferable wait, during which Kurt sensed Beatrice bristling and dying to cry out to her daughter to say something. Had he put her in an unworkable situation or was the penny just taking so long to drop that he actually meant it?

It happened. The penny dropped.

Darlene’s face softened into a smile and he could read on her features that she knew he meant it.

‘Kurt, I’d love to, you incurable romantic,’ she said and relief washed over him like tidal waters over the driest desert.

There were cheers, hugs and congratulations all round. Clive must have shaken his hand a dozen times and all they could say was how beautiful it was that the two families had yet another reason to feel such close bonds.

There was some comment about the fact that Earl and Brenda were not present, but they all agreed that, on the morrow, they would head to Pacific City and bring some joyous news to the poorly father and worried wife.

At some point during the merriment (which the unintroduced neighbor insisted on hanging around for as if a part of) Kurt saw that Jefferson had risen and was skulking off back to his jeep. His walk had the air of a dejected person who had given up on something. If so that was best for him and everyone and, if not, he would be by Darlene’s side through whatever problems she faced.

Before they went inside for refreshments his fiancée linked arms with him and whispered, ‘That was incredible; I had no idea you were in love, I just thought you wanted to sleep with me.’

‘Now what on earth gave you that impression?’ he asked.