The One who got Away

“Thank you,” she interrupted, staring sadly at me. “For all of your amazing advice. It really was a life saver. I can’t thank you enough for that. Anyway, I should go back. I have dinner plans, and it’s getting late.”

She grabbed my arm and leaned up, kissing me on the cheek and lingering for just a moment. She turned and jogged back toward the street. I swear I could see the glimmer of a tear on her cheek as she turned. I felt absolutely horrible. Ronni was such an amazing woman, and I would be lucky to have her in my life. If it weren’t for the promise I made to my mother, I would be on cloud nine right now, trying to woo her and wine and dine her. She was exactly the woman I was looking for, and I didn’t know until that night that I had been looking. I turned and watched the sun dip below the horizon. A cold wind whipped along the beach and down the collar of my shirt.

I walked back to the car and looked up at Ronni’s window. She was standing inside with her hands covering her face. Her roommate was hugging her, and she looked up at me angrily, before leaning forward and pulling down the blinds. I hadn’t realized I would have such an effect on her. I jumped in my car and headed to the gym. I needed to get these emotions out and the only thing I could think to do was workout.

I grabbed the gym bag from my trunk and headed into the gym, thankful they were open twenty-four hours. There was barely anyone inside, not that it mattered, and after I had changed, I jumped on the treadmill. With every step, my gut dropped, thinking about Ronni’s face when I told her. I picked up the pace, now running full speed. I breathed heavily and wished the knot in my chest would disappear. After about forty minutes, I got off the treadmill and headed over to the weights, doing as many reps as I could handle. I worked out harder than I had in a really long time, but still, I didn’t feel any better about what I had done. I had broken Ronni’s heart, which was the complete opposite of what I set out to do in the first place.

I finished my reps with the weights and walked over the punching bag, slipping my headphones in my ears in an attempt to drown out my own mind. Nick was supposed to be the villain in this scenario, not me. And yet, I continued to punch the bag as hard as I possibly could, feeling the sting in my knuckles. This girl had really done something to me. She had touched me in a place that I couldn’t describe, and I didn’t just mean my dick. Being with her was not a normal hookup. It was years of bonding and love, all compressed into one really hot night. She was smart, probably smarter than I was, and determined like I had never seen. She wanted to make something out of herself, and she wanted to do it all while spending time with me and giving herself to me fully. Had I known she was giving her virginity to me, I would have held her longer, caressed her more gently, and made her feel like she was the only woman in the world.

I took in a deep breath, reared back, and punched the bag as hard as I could over and over again. My knuckles swelled and cracked as they met the plastic material. I grabbed the bag, stopping it from swinging, and leaned my head against it. No matter how many times I punched this bag, I was still a giant piece of shit.

Chapter Eight

Ronni

I took a

deep breath and wiped away the fog from my steamed-up mirror. There was a knot in my chest from the conversation I had with Nathan the night before, and I really didn’t like it. I had given him my virginity, given him a part of me that I could never get back, and he had broken it off before it even had a chance to begin.

All this time, I’d thought Nick was the bad guy, the one that would break my heart. But I never saw it coming from Nathan. He was so kind and gentle. Even when he was telling me this couldn’t happen, his eyes told me he was genuinely upset about it. That should have made it better, but it almost felt worse, knowing he wanted to be with me but the ghosts from our past were dictating our future.

No matter how good his mother’s intentions had been, they never came to fruition. I wasn’t treated poorly, but I was never treated like a sister. Now, it was messing with Nathan’s mind so much that he couldn’t separate it from what happened. It made me angry that he couldn’t come to terms with the fact that his mother’s wishes had been broken a long time ago, and there was no going back.

I was drawn from my thoughts by my phone buzzing on the counter. I looked down and saw Nick’s face flashing across the screen. I picked it up, thinking twice about answering but pressing the call button anyway.

“Hey, Nick,” I said, trying to sound normal and not mopey.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said in his normal energetic voice. “I wanted to see what you were up to tonight.”

“I don’t have any plans,” I said, sighing. “Why? What’s up?”

“Well, I thought maybe I could make up for the other night and take you dancing at this awesome club in San Diego,” he said, igniting visions of that night in my head.

“You know what? That sounds great.” I decided that I needed to get Nathan out of my head, and there was no one more likely to help with that than Nick.

“Awesome,” he said. “Pick you up in an hour?”

“Great,” I replied before hanging up.

I got ready in record time and was waiting by the door when Nick pulled up. Maria was in her room, and I didn’t want her to know I was going out with Nick. So, I hurried out the door and down to the curb. Nick whistled at me as I walked down in my high heels and short dress. I blushed before leaning in to let him kiss me on the cheek. He opened the car door for me and then jumped into the driver’s seat. Then we sped off toward the club.

As soon as I was in the club, there was a drink in my hand which I didn’t mind in the least. Nick pulled me around the place, giving me the grand tour. It was definitely a hot spot in the city with its high ceilings, great music, and the poshest VIP area I had ever seen. He handed me a shot and clicked my glass. I threw it back, unaware of what I was even drinking.

“So, what do you think?” he asked.

“It’s great,” I yelled over the music, curious as to why he wanted my opinion so bad.

“I’m thinking of becoming an investor,” he said loudly in my ear.

“Oh,” I said, bobbing my head to the music and thinking back to the study we did in college on nightclubs. “You know when I was in college, we studied nightclubs. Apparently, it's really hard to recoup any investment in nightclubs. So, I would really think hard about it.”

“You sound like my brother,” he said, scowling. Then he handed me another drink.

The last thing I wanted was to be reminded of Nathan so I downed that drink and dragged Nick out on the dance floor. My only option at that point was to get drunk and have fun dancing, which was exactly what I was doing. Nick leaned forward and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me in close. I smiled politely and pushed back, looking around as I swayed my body to the music. He reached out again, this time forcefully pulling me in and grabbing my ass. I reached around and grabbed his wrist, throwing his hand off of me. At that point, he seemed to get the message.

His face went quickly from entertained to angry. I watched him stomp off back to the VIP area. I continued to dance a bit longer and then headed toward Nick. I stopped short, though, when I noticed him inside, hitting on a tall blonde girl with giant tits. I shook my head and chuckled to myself, finding it hard to focus. I realized quickly that I was completely wasted, but I knew that Nick had zero intentions of taking me home anytime soon, if at all. I fumbled around my bag, pulling out my phone and dialing Maria’s number. I tapped my foot impatiently as it rang, but she never answered.

“Shit,” I said to myself, hanging up and pulling up the Uber app on my phone.