Broken

“So, how was your visit to your Mom?” I ask while stuffing a forkful of food into my mouth. “I forgot to ask you yesterday.”

“It was really something,” he answers me, sounding a little weary at the memory. “She’s quite full on, I warn you. When I tried to tell her about our new situation she got really excited and even started talking about marriage.”

Ben rolls his eyes but the idea of a big white wedding gets me excited. I’ve always dreamed about my big special day and the thought that Ben could be at the other end of the aisle is an awesome idea. I would absolutely love for him to be my husband and with the way things are going at the moment I can’t see that changing.

“But she hasn’t ever met me,” I joke instead of saying all of that. “She might hate me, how can she think that we should get married.”

“Oh the description of you was enough, trust me.”

I want to ask Ben what she said, I’m really intrigued to know how Ben would speak about me to others, but I can’t ask. If he doesn’t want to divulge the information then what can I do? I just nod and say nothing, internally praying that he’ll reveal all anyway.

“Then she got out all these pictures of Dad and started saying that I look like him.” Oh, okay, this conversation has taken a much more serious tone. “It was weird because when she talks about him I don’t know what to say. Sometimes I don’t think she realises that.”

“I’m sure she wants to just keep him alive and part of your history,” I reply gravely. “I’m sure she assumes that she’s helping when she talks about him.”

Ben doesn’t say anything but I can see him contemplating my words. It’s like I can see the cogs in his brain spinning at a million miles an hour. I remain silent and let him think things through, while enjoying my breakfast. I never had food as good as this back at the apartment, I always had to buy the cheapest of the cheap. I’m sure I’m going to put on a lot of weight while being here and it tastes so good that I don’t even care.

“Anyway, I don’t want to worry about that today.” He stands up and puts his empty plate on the kitchen side. “If you’re going to force me back into work then I need to get my head back in the game.”

“Right. So why don’t you tell me what you have to do today? Maybe that will help you get your head in the game.”

He leans over me and places kisses all over my cheeks. “I don’t want to talk about work, I want to talk about you.”

I jump up and laugh. He thinks that he’s about to lure me into something sexual this morning, I can tell by the glint in his eyes, but he isn’t. Much as I’m tempted I would much rather him get into the office. I’m concerned about his company, I might not understand anything about it but I’m sure he’s the key element. The last thing I want is for him to end up resenting me because I’ve made him fail.

“I’ll tell you what.” I lean up and kiss him again. “Why don’t you go to work now, and I’ll send you sexy little text messages all day long. I don’t have work today at all so I can focus solely on you. When you can’t hack it anymore, come home and we’ll do whatever you want.”

“Urgh, you’re killing me,” he groans. “That is such a hot idea, but what if I can’t hack it for very long?”

“Oh I think you will,” I smirk back. “Because you know for a fact that the messages will get better and better throughout the day. It might be delayed gratification but you know that it’ll be worth it.”

Finally he takes a step back from me and he runs his eyes up and down my body, dragging them slowly over. “You really know how to play the game, Serena. I think I might have met my match in you.”

I wiggle my hips playfully and send him a wink. I want to keep him on his toes, I love that he feels that way about me. The way that Ben sees me honestly brings me right out of my shell. “You certainly have. Now get to work. I shall see you when you get home.”

“Fine, but I want my first message before I even get there.”

I walk him to the door and wave him off, already feeling like a wife. My brain spins, trying to plan my first text to Ben that will start things off in a slow and sexy way, but before the car is even out of sight it rings. I half think it might be Ben trying something new with me, but the name on the screen tells me that it’s my best friend.

“Jenny!” I crow into the handset. “How are you? How is life out at sea?”

“Good, good.” Her voice is distant which reminds me just how far away she is. “Things are really great, I’m loving life as a dancer, I think that’s what I was always meant to be.”

“Oh that’s wonderful.” I can be genuine with my happiness for her now that I have my life settled too. “I’m so glad to hear about it. It’s good that you’ve found your life’s calling. Where are you right now?”

“Headed towards somewhere in Asia. I’m not sure exactly.” She pauses for a moment. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good actually.” I feel pleased that I can actually say that and be truthful. “Things are working out alright.”

“You found somewhere to live in the end?”

Admittedly I haven’t told her the truth about what I’m doing but that’s because I know she’ll freak. She’s a bit of a cynic when it comes to romance, nothing like me. I smile to myself but still remain evasive for the time being.

“Yes, I found somewhere. I’m still at the club too, but not as a shot girl anymore, behind the bar.”

“There’s less money in that,” Jenny warns. “But I’m sure you’re much happier. I probably should have thought about that for you in the first place.”

“Oh don’t you worry about that, it all worked out okay in the end. It’s good to hear from you though, I didn’t think I’d get anything for about ten months!”