Broken

“I’ve waited a really long time to hear you say that,” she said, leaning forward and kissing my lips.

I finally could feel the weight of life lifting from my shoulders and evaporating above us. I stared at this beautiful woman in my bed and I swore to myself that I would never let her down again. Seth and Casey were my world now and I couldn’t wait to build our life together. Everything was so completely different but at the same time, it was so completely perfect. More perfect than I ever thought it could be.

Chapter 20: Casey

It felt good to be back at my mother’s house for the holidays. It had been a year since Dex came back into our lives and I couldn’t imagine anything turning out more perfect. Seth and I had moved into the penthouse shortly after Dex and I decided to be a family, and though it was beautiful and huge, we decided to keep with tradition and come stay at my mother’s house for Christmas Eve. Natalie and Brandon were going to come over too, so we could celebrate the holidays together. I had actually just seen Natalie a few weeks before when she came to the penthouse to help me pull all their old decorations down. I knew how much Dex loved it when his parents would decorate the house so Natalie and I surprised him by doing the same. I’ll never forget his face when he walked in the door to see the place looking like a winter wonderland. He even decided to throw a cocktail party for all our friends and his colleagues like his parents used to do. We sat around drinking wine, enjoying everyone’s company, and watching the kids run around the house with the new toys Dex bought for them. Seth was definitely having a ball and with so many people around, it forced him away from his usually shy behavior.

I pushed the last present underneath the already packed Christmas tree and stood back laughing at how crazy this Christmas was going to be. Last year was great because of all the thoughtful gifts Dex got Seth but this year I was actually able to get my mom some things I knew she would really love. She deserved it after spending years helping me take care of Seth. When we moved out, I really got the feeling that she missed taking care of him, so instead of hiring a nanny like Dex suggested, I would take Seth to my mom’s before work every day. She was thrilled to have the time with him. Dex didn’t want me to worry about working but I felt better knowing I was doing something. Dex’s fortune was his, not mine to use as I pleased and he was already doing so much to take care of this family. Besides, now that I wasn’t so worried and stressed, I actually found a way to enjoy my job.

When I was done straightening the tree, I took a sip of the eggnog my mom made for us and tiptoed down the hall. I could hear Dex’s voice coming from Seth’s room, which was twinkling with Christmas lights. I peeked around the corner and leaned against the wall, watching as Dex tucked Seth into bed and then sat down next to him to read The Night Before Christmas. Seth pulled the covers up to his chin and laid his hand on Dex’s leg as he read to him.

“‘This was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there,” he read.

“That’s Santa,” Seth said, yawning.

“That’s right buddy,” Dex said before he continued. “The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter's nap.”

Dex looked up at me as Seth’s eyes began to close. He smiled that dazzling and charming smile I knew and loved. Immediately, my heart melted into a hundred pieces and I backed away, hearing him continue as I walked out into the living room. I sat down and took in a deep breath, thinking about how lucky I was to have these people in my life. My mother had just finished baking cookies and ran down to the Mission, my son was falling into a magical Christmas Eve slumber, and my boyfriend was spending time with his son, loving him and nurturing him. And I, well I was relaxing for the first time in a long time, thinking about how lucky I was to have ended up here. Just six years before, this couch was the backdrop to what would become one of the most amazing but difficult events in my life.

I couldn’t believe how much everythi

ng had changed since then. Just thinking about who Dex was six years ago and comparing him to the man he was now, I could barely recognize the young guy seducing the young girl on Christmas Eve night so many years ago. I laughed to myself as Dex appeared around the corner, closing the book and setting it back on the shelf. He stretched his arms up over his head and I stood, walking over and wrapping mine around his waist. He was so warm and comforting. It was definitely nice to be in this place, standing together in my childhood home. I hugged him tightly before walking us back over to the couch. He pulled me gently into his arms. We snuggled under the glow of the Christmas tree, smelling the cookies warm out of the oven.

“Seth is out.” Dex chuckled. “I think he had too much pie and crashed hard.”

“Good.” I sighed. “Maybe he won’t wake us at three in the morning.”

“Yeah, right.” Dex laughed. “Not with those presents under the tree.”

“I was just thinking about our first Christmas Eve here in this house,” I said.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” I replied, drinking my eggnog. “The night that started all of this.”

“The best night of my life, even if I didn’t realize it then,” he replied, kissing the top of my head. “That Hazelnut liqueur though, I’ll never be able to drink it again.”

“Oh, god.” I cringed. “I think I just vomited in my mouth a little.”

We both laughed at the thought of that night and sipped our drinks, sitting comfortably next to each other. I couldn’t help but feel extremely happy for the time I was getting to spend with Dex. I knew he could have made another choice and be somewhere across the world right now. Instead, he chose us, he chose to stay here and build a life with Seth and me, something that I would never ever take for granted. Things were so perfect it was hard to remember all the lonely nights I spent in this house, pining for Dex and feeling completely heartbroken. Everything was so familiar but at the same time felt completely different with the bask of love that now covered our lives. Dex pulled me in and squeezed me harder, kissing my head and obviously thinking about the same thing as me.

The sounds of Christmas music played lightly in the background and though we sat silently, we did it together, feeling how close we had grown. Dex went from the man I couldn’t keep my hands off, to the man I loved, and ultimately to my best friend, though I’d never tell Natalie that. I finally had a real family like I dreamed of long before Seth ever came into the picture. It was more than I could have hoped for and I never, not even for a moment, took it for granted. I knew, with my father’s death, Dex’s parent’s deaths, and everything I went through over the last six years that you should be happy and really cherish the people you love because you never know when it could be gone in the blink of an eye.

“You know,” Dex said, leaning his head down toward me. “Your mom is still at the Mission, we could do a little fooling around, maybe rekindle that old flame from six years ago here on this couch of love.”

I laughed loudly at the thought of us being so brazen and bold, not to mention drunk as hell, six years ago on this very couch. I laid my head against Dex’s chest, feeling his breath and his heartbeat against my ear. I had never felt more comfortable with anyone in my life than I did right then in Dex’s arms. He set his glass down and pulled me into his lap, squeezing me tightly and gently kissing my lips. We stared into each other’s eyes for several moments until something popped into his head. He smiled coyly and moved me back next to him before standing up and walking toward the tree.

“I have a gift for you,” he said excitedly.

“But it’s not Christmas.” I laughed.

“You get to open one early,” he said, tossing a small wrapped box at me.

I caught it and smiled at the terrible wrapping. Dex made sure to get all the presents wrapped professionally, telling me how bad of a wrapper he was. I didn’t really believe him until looking down at this small box that had been wrapped tightly in too much red paper, taped up like a mummy, and had a crooked bow on top. It had to be my favorite thing to unwrap and I didn’t even know what it was yet. I shook my head, giggling as I pulled the bow off and fought the tape wrapped around it. I ripped the paper off and pulled the top off, looking down at another small box, this one a little more familiar. It was velvet and square and opened just like a ring box.

I slowly cracked it open, my hands beginning to shake, gasping as I looked down at the largest diamond ring I had ever seen. It sparkled in the light of the tree and I looked over to find Dex kneeled on the floor in front of me. Immediately, tears filled my eyes, not fully comprehending what was happening at that moment. There was a huge diamond ring shaking in my hand and the love of my life was down on one knee, it was all too real.

“Casey Nelson,” he said, reaching out and taking my hand. “You have given me a life that I never expected. You have filled my world with love, laughter, friendship, and the most amazing little life I could have ever imagined. Moving you into the penthouse was not enough. I want to know every day that I am waking up to my wife, the woman I vowed to spend my life with forever. I want to know that Seth can look at his mom and dad and see pure love, pure bond, and a strong unbreakable family. So, as I kneel here in front of you, I am asking you to please say yes. Say yes to spending the rest of your life in my arms, as my wife, and I as your husband. Casey Nelson, will you marry me?”