Broken

“Booked,” I mutter happily to myself as I lean back in my chair. “Can’t wait.”

But as I glance around the room the sun shining down on me fades. I’m still lonely, that’s not going anywhere. My friends have all gone to start their fabulous new lives, Diana as a travel journalist, seeing the world, Helen as a legal secretary, Alexa has moved to Canada with her boyfriend to get married and have children… it’s only me left.

If I’m honest with myself, the loneliness started a long time before this moment. If I truly dig deep inside myself then I’ve been feeling this sadness for a while now, deep down. I’ve just managed to bury it because I’ve been surrounded by my friends. Ever since me and Liam broke up in my first year, I’ve been missing having some actual love in my life. We were only together for a few months, but it was a very intense time… at least for me. I fell hard and fast for his dark hair, his tanned skin, his bright smile. I thought that he felt the same way for me, so I gave myself over to him completely, I loved him with everything I had.

And then he cheated on me.

When I found him in a club just off of campus, kissing a mystery blonde, and I lost my nut, he had the audacity to tell me that it didn’t matter because we weren’t serious anyway. We were just a fling, so why did I care who he was kissing?

What an asshole!

Anyway, after that I threw myself into my education, I gave up on the idea of finding someone until my heart had healed. Maybe it was only a short term thing but the after effects of that, scarred me deeply. It took me a while.

Only now I’m there, and no one seems interested.

I guess people in college gave up on finding relationships towards the end of our course because they all knew that we’ll be moving on soon enough. Just as I became ready to open up my heart, everyone else closed theirs, leaving me alone.

I lie back on the bed and let my eyes slide shut. Who knows, this might be the start of something new. Maybe I’ll get onto that cruise and an unexpected romance will come my way.

My body sparks to life as I picture my dream man coming to life in my mind. I see a strong, muscular, tattooed body, sandy blond hair, bright blue eyes. Electricity prickles all over me and I find my hands rubbing over my chest and down my torso.

“You’re beautiful,” the mystery man says to me, breathing onto my lips, causing my entire body to pulse desperately. “Tia, you are incredible.”

As he kisses me, my hands travel lower, almost instinctively as if I can’t help myself. My core is crying out to me, I need a release, and now that I have this fantasy in my mind I can’t stop. I slide into my panties and move my fingers towards my wetness. The mystery man in my mind kisses me hard and fast, the passion flows from hip lips into mine, setting me on fire.

“Oh, Tia.”

His hands lift up the hem of my dress and the way that my fingers touch me becomes him. He alternates between plunging into me and flickering over my clit. I imagine myself holding his thick, throbbing cock in my

hands, loving the sensation because it’s just been far too long. I haven’t had a male body near me in what feels like forever, so I’m already about to explode.

I pant and writhe on the sheets as I feel him sliding into me, his muscles pressing against my body in a thrilling, delicious way. A groan falls out of my lips. I lift my hand off the bed where I’ve been fisting the sheets to grope onto my breast. My nipples feel like they’ve been left out and they’re desperate for some action. I even slide my top down and push my bra down so I can really feel myself.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he continues while increasing the intensity of his thrusts. “I didn’t know it would feel this good to fuck you.”

“Oh shit,” I cry out loudly as the hot pool of pleasure in the pit of my stomach increases. It trickles through my veins causing my whole body to relax into the bliss. The pressure builds, my head swims, my heart pounds so loudly against my rib cage I fear it might explode from my chest. “Oh God.”

And then the tsunami of pleasure rolls over me in waves causing me to buck violently under the weight of it. I fall into the abyss of pleasure, giving myself over to it completely. It feels so good to get a release, to forget about everything, to ignore the loneliness for just a moment. I need this badly…

No, actually this isn’t what I need. What I need is a man. Maybe not a man to love, that might be asking for too much but a man to crave, a man to have a wonderful night of fun with. Just one wild night of throwing caution to the wind.

Maybe that’s what I’ll get on the cruise… here’s hoping anyway.

Chapter Two - Stephen

“It’s going well, Mom!” I declare with a giant smile on my face. “I’m really happy.”

“I’m happy for you,” she replies cautiously. “I just wish your dream didn’t have to take you half way around the world. New Zealand misses you, that’s all. We all miss you, it isn’t the same without you here.”

“I don’t think New Zealand does, I think you do,” I chuckle, ignoring the comment about everyone else. I don’t want to think too much about my life back home right now. I’m not in the best frame of mind for it. “And you know I’d do it from home if I could but there are just so many more opportunities in America.”

Okay, so maybe I’m not fully living the rock and roll lifestyle I thought I would be when I left home for the US. I naively assumed that I was good enough on the guitar to get a music contract right away. I thought I’d be playing Madison Square Garden to hundreds of thousands of screaming fans. I imagined I would be living the dream.

It didn’t take me long to be brought back to Earth with a thump. No one get sighed right away, people don’t have it easy. Everyone needs to struggle to make it to where they want to be in life. I’m just in the struggling phase right now, that’s all. I know I’ll make it big, I just need to be patient.

“So, when does the cruise start?” Mom asks, genuinely interested. This is why I always ring her with news first, even if it’s small news. She always makes me feel good about it.

“Tomorrow actually.” I glance around the dive bar I’m in, watching the clientele thin out now that my set has finished. Inside there’s a hope that just one of the people who came to watch me knows someone important in the music biz. It hasn’t happened yet, but it has to happen eventually. “Once I’m finished up here I’ll head home to pack. I’m looking forward to it.”