Broken

I peer over my shoulder, flicking my hair as I do and I watch him grab himself tightly. He fists himself a couple of times causing a ball to lodge itself into my throat, then he angles himself and pushes in, filling me completely. My fingers are still brushing against my clit so with each trust the intensity in the pressure grows. The pleasure starts off like a hot pool deep in my toes and it rises through me as Kian’s thrusts get harder and more desperate. My knees bang against the bedframe, my free hand has to grab onto the sheets just to keep me upright, but as my head spins violently I just don’t care. It feels too fucking good, this is the best that I’ve felt in a very long time.

“Holy shit!” I scream as the hot pool spreads through my stomach. “Oh my God, Kian.”

“You just keep touching yourself,” he says in a shaky tone. “Don’t stop, don’t you stop.”

I do as he commands as I feel him shudder behind me. My lips wrapped around him earlier has brought him to the brink probably much quicker than he wanted but I don’t mind that at all. I’m very close myself, teetering on the edge actually, and we have all night to do this again.

No, not all night. All life. We have the rest of our lives for this.

Finally, the pleasure hits me like a tsunami of waves. It washes over me, it rolls through my body, and the whole time the entire world has shrunk down to just me and Kian. No one else matters, nothing else exists. It’s only me and him and that’s just the way I love it. My heart thunders, my knees buckle, my body shudders and shakes, but Kian holds on to me, keeping me safe and protected the entire time.

“I love you,” I mutter afterwards as I can feel the pleasure bursting from him. “I love you, Kian. So damn much.”

It isn’t until we’re lying in one another’s arms afterwards, panting and clinging to one another as if no one else exists in the world that I rea

lize in the heat of the moment that we acted a little irrationally. I didn’t think about it at the time and I’m sure Kian didn’t either. We didn’t use protection.

I’m sure it’s fine, I think reassuringly to myself as I roll onto one side to gave up at Kian. I’m sure that being reckless once won’t matter. I won’t get pregnant after just one time… surely?

Epilogue - Tia

Six Months Later…

I rub my swollen belly, shaking my head once more at my utter naivety. I didn’t think I’d get pregnant so quick which is why I ignored all the early signs. I put the morning sickness down to the stress of flying back to New Zealand and the stress of moving into Kian’s home. I assumed that the endless tiredness was just me trying desperately to get back into the swing of things, I though I was just gaining a little weight because I was finally happy.

Now, I know for sure. I can’t deny it anymore with this rock hard round belly, and I think I’m just about getting used to the idea which is a good thing because in three months time, me and Kian will be inviting our baby daughter into the world.

How is he more adjusted to the idea than me? I think bemusedly. I’m the one carrying the baby and I forget sometimes, but not Kian.

He’s super excited, and his parents are too. For a while they all hoped that it would be twins, I suppose to replace what’s been lost, but I have to admit I’m glad that it isn’t. One baby is going to be enough to deal with, never mind two. I’m not convinced I have it in me to be a good enough mother to keep just one child alive. I just hope that everything changes when the time comes and it’s just natural to me.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

I grab my phone and look at the screen, smiling as I see my mom’s name. We get on much better these days, which might well be because I’ve grown up and she’s in a much better place in her life too… or maybe it’s just because we live in different countries. Maybe that’s the only way we can have a good relationship.

“Hi, Mom, you okay?” I say warmly into the phone.

“Yes, I’m good. Just about to head out with my friends. Just wanted to check in on you and the baby.”

By ‘friend’ I think she means date but she’s too embarrassed to tell me. I don’t mind, I’m happy for her to move on now that she’s divorced from Dad. She deserves some happiness in her life. I just hope that this time she’s picked someone wisely and it isn’t another idiotic criminal just to keep her rolling in the money. Me and Kian certainly don’t have a flash lavish lifestyle, but we’re comfortable. That’s all I care about now.

“Good, thanks.” I rub my belly again, smiling down at my unborn child. “All id going really well.”

“I have my trip out to see you booked just after your due date.” I roll my eyes as I try to consider how hard that’s going to be. Still, I can’t keep her away from her grandchild, that wouldn’t be fair. “So that will be nice.”

I hear the door click open and I swing my eyes excitedly around the room. Kian has been off on some job today, all very mysterious, and I can’t wait to find out more about what he’s been doing. I can talk to my mom about how ‘wonderful’ her visit will be some other time.

“Oh, I have to go, Mom. Kian is home, but I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes, yes, U have to go too. I’ll speak to you then.”

I jump up excitedly and I move towards the door to see Kian. Even now after all this time my heart beats faster and I get butterflies in my stomach every time I see him. He manages to have a powerful affect on me and I don’t think that will ever end.

“Hey, baby,” I call out. “I can’t wait to hear about your day… oh.” The words fall away from my lips as I see him kneeling in front of the door with an open ring box in his hands. “Oh my goodness.” My hand claps against my mouth in shock. “What is this, Kian?”

“I love you,” he chuckles, his eyes already filling up with water. “I love you so much that I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to do this.” He breathes a couple of times as if he’s trying to collect himself. “I love you, Tia, and I have done for ages. Maybe even from the very first moment when I met you… even if you were calling me a different name.”

A tear trickles down my cheek at the memory. When I thought he was Stephen and I chased him out of the club. How crazy our journey has been. It’s just a good job that I have it all recorded in my best selling novel, The Beautiful Disaster.