Broken

“I just want to relax with you,” I said, putting my head on his chest.

I could feel his breathing and hear his heart beat heavily in his chest. I really wanted him to chill out and let go of the crazy amount of anxiety that was surging through him. He worked so hard all year long, and he deserved to be comfortable and rested. The warmth of his body was definitely an added bonus, and I snuggled in tightly on top of him. We sat there for a few minutes, waiting for the hammock to stop swaying back and forth. As soon as it did, though, Austin’s body stiffened below me. It was obvious that he was feeling self-conscious about being cramped up in a hammock in front of everyone. I knew that it wasn’t the most ideal situation we could have been in, but I also knew that it was perfect for Austin since it took him out of his comfort zone and showed him the world that was around him. In my opinion, it was the best choice to get some rest out of all the other places in the open living area of the cottage.

“You know, there aren’t any other rooms for us to rest in,” I said, trying to make him understand. “We are all probably going to have to sleep in this big room together by the end of the day. At least by being up here in the hammock, we are up off the floor and all snuggled in together. I know that you aren’t feeling the lack of privacy, but the last thing I want to do is pass out on the floor or one of the couches with you. I want to feel that you are close to me.”

He sighed heavily as I snuggled in closer, putting my hand inside of his shirt and rubbing it across his hard stomach. I had a mission that I couldn’t seem to get out of my head, no matter how much it ended up affecting my own vacation. I was on a mission to help Austin relax, knowing full well that unless I pushed him, he wouldn’t do anything like that for himself. I also knew that as soon as he calmed down, he immediately started to feel more comfortable around everyone, even smiling or cracking a joke every once in a while.

?

?We might as well get used to sleeping here with everyone else now,” I said, finishing my thought. “Besides, you are really comfortable, and I am not willing to trade you in for the newer or fluffier model like the daybed that is laying there empty for some reason.”

“I know,” he said, reaching up and putting his hand on my head.

I could feel his muscles relaxing one by one until we were laying there intertwined above the floor. Slowly, he moved his hand up and down my head, stroking my hair like always did at home when I would lie down on his chest. I could feel the anxiety starting to build up once again, and my thoughts immediately darted back to Jason, Kristin, and Amber and all the hot nights we had spent in the apartment during college. I knew that if I was going to tell Austin about what happened, it needed to be then, where we were high enough for privacy, but not too far away from everyone else. I was hoping that Austin had the same kind of patience he did the last time I had big news for him, but I was thinking that this might be a little bit different.

“Austin,” I said, picking up my head.

“Yes,” he replied.

“So, I want to tell you something, and I want you to understand that I love you so much, and I never want that to change,” I whispered. “This all happened a long time ago, before you and I had ever even met, so it wouldn’t have affected you when we were dating, and I was afraid that if you found out, you would look at me differently.”

“Okay,” he said suspiciously. “You are starting to make me nervous.”

“I’m just going to say it,” I replied. “When I lived in the apartment with Kristin, Jessica, and Jason, we all had a little more of a relationship than just roommates and friends. We all were actually sleeping together, all of us, usually at the same time. We had this incredibly strange dynamic, and after a pretty long time of fighting it, we all just kind of gave in to it instead. None of us were in a relationship with each other, or anyone else for that matter, and satisfying our urges all together seemed like the best idea instead of going out and finding strangers. Like I said, though, it all ended the moment that I met you.”

I held my breath, hoping for an answer that wouldn’t be devastating.

Chapter 16

Austin

I laid there in the hammock with my eyes fixed on the ceiling, feeling my wife’s heart beating wildly in her chest. I felt like I was missing something, or like she’d told me a story of someone else’s life, as if she were gossiping about her friends. Things like this did not happen in my life, and if they did, they were scandals by members of the political parties I answered to, not something in my own house. I wasn’t uncomfortable that she had done this in her past, but more upset that she had kept it from me. My wife, my sweet and spicy Jessica had slept with two other women and her male roommate. I knew there was a serious fire inside of my wife. I had seen it over and over again, but I never imagined her to be the one who would be interested in sex with multiple people at once, nor did I think that she would ever keep something like that from me, especially when we were going on vacation with those very people. I rubbed my hands over my face while visions of Jessica having sex with Kristin, Amber, and Jason, all at the same time, ran through my head.

All of this was a huge revelation to wrap my head around. There were so many things that I wanted to know, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure I should know. It was a double-edged sword in the way that I wanted to know the truth, but I wasn’t sure if I could really handle the truth. I didn’t even know where to start with these kinds of questions, but the silence between us was almost painful. She sat up and looked me in the eyes, trying to figure out what my reaction was.

“How did all of it start?” I asked.

“It wasn’t planned, if that is what you think,” she said. “Obviously, there was always some sort of tension but nothing that I really paid attention to. One night, Amber and I had gone out to the bar to celebrate someone’s birthday. I don’t remember who it was. We usually didn’t leave that early from the bar, but it was kind of lame, and we both just wanted to get back to the apartment and chill. When we got back, we walked in on Kristin and Jason having sex.”

“Were they always dating?”

“No, it was a big surprise for both of us when we walked in and saw them fucking,” she said. “Well, I guess it wasn’t that big of a surprise, given their personality types. Either way, we were wasted, and that just wasn’t what we expected when we walked through the door of the apartment. All kinds of emotions rolled through me in that moment, and I was probably just as confused as you are now, if not more. I wasn’t raised in a brazen household, you know that, so seeing people fucking like that was pretty overwhelming.”

“So how did it get from that to all-out sex between all of you?”

“Kristin was riding Jason in reverse on the couch,” she said with a sigh. “I saw them as soon as I walked into the living room. I was laughing drunkenly as I walked into the living room and came stumbling to a stop when I saw them there. Obviously, walking up on someone naked and fucking will make you do a double take, which is what I was doing when Amber stumbled into me from the other room. No one had the response that they should have in that situation. Instead of stopping, Kristin just greeted us and kept on going like it was no big deal. Obviously, Amber and I were flabbergasted by what we were witnessing, but we were also too wasted to do anything but stand there and stare at them. Kristin had this smirk on her face like she was enjoying it more with us standing there watching. I thought it was the alcohol that was making me feel slightly aroused, but I later realized it was more than that.”

“So, what then? Was that it, or was that when you joined in?”

“Kristin kept riding Jason until she was screaming out in orgasm,” she continued. “Her moans echoed through my head, and then she collapsed on top of him, with this crazy, exhausted giggle that made me think that they had been at that much longer than right when we walked in the doors. We all knew Jason had a pretty big sexual appetite from the girls that constantly exited and entered the place. Anyway, she hopped off of him like no big deal and told us she couldn’t keep going. She walked over to me and looked me in the eyes, smiling, and said that one of us should give him a try. It’s no secret that Jason was and still is a sexy man, and in that moment, pumped with alcohol, looking at his naked body shimmering with sweat, his swollen cock in his hand, it ignited something inside of me that I had never felt before. It was a passion that was unique and interesting, and I was young and curious.”

“Right,” I said, feeling slightly off about listening to my wife call another man sexy.

“Don’t be like that,” she said, lifting her head up and looking at me. “You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about how sexy Kristin and Amber are. If you did, you would be lying because you are a human being and just because you are dedicated to me doesn’t mean you don’t find other people attractive.”

“You’re right,” I said. “Please continue.”

“I threw caution to the wind that night,” she said, lying back down. “I slipped off my jeans, walked over and straddled him, starting to make out with him on the spot. Before I even realized it, we were fucking, right there in front of Amber and Kristin. Kristin walked up behind Amber and started massaging her shoulders while they watched us doing it. She was still naked at that point, and one thing had led to another, and before long, Amber and Kristin were making out right in front of us. It was like all the inhibitions that we normally clung to so tightly disappeared in a matter of seconds, and I was shocked that even sweet little Amber had jumped right in. The whole thing was like some plot from a porno, only it was real life and the sights and sounds were more than I could take. Watching the girls rubbing up on each other, feeling Jason’s hot sweaty body beneath me was one of the most erotic things I had ever experienced up to that point. It was the moment my sexuality changed. The stimulation of my senses pushed me over the edge, and I came without even realizing that I was close.”