Broken

I could use the gifts God blessed me with by stooping to seduction. Men were easy. Show them a bit of skin and they would pant after you like a dog after a bone.

“You are a shoe in for this promotion. We’ve seen some great things from you from the moment you stepped through the door 10 years ago. I can’t think of a better candidate to break the glass ceiling. I might be from the old school, but I see the writing on the wall.” My mentor Stephen Jacobs was leaving for greener pastures of retirement.

This was a boys club until a few like me dared to breach the inner sanctum. It was a never-ending nightmare of always trying to prove myself. I had sacrificed time with my boyfriend to live at the office at all hours of the day and night.

“I see the bigger picture. This company runs on new clients coming through those doors. We can’t be content on living on the scraps of those clients who have been with us forever. The lifeblood of any company comes from word of mouth and a great reputation. We have both of those things in spades.” I couldn’t believe how articulate I was being about my role in the company.

I was wearing a dark pantsuit with purple stripes to flatter my figure. I had on suspenders and a white blouse with the first couple of buttons undone. My hair was pulled back tightly with my sleeves rolled up. I wasn’t intimidating at 5’5 and 125 pounds soaking wet.

It was in my eyes. They conveyed my tenacity to get ahead. I was never going to be one of those bimbos with their blond hair and flotation devices to sleep my way to the top.

“You have gone above the call of duty and it has been appreciated. Barring any further complications, the announcement will be made by the end of the week. I would get used the view at the top of the mountain.” I had this existential angst and this feeling like the rug was going to get pulled out from underneath me.

The money was nothing compared to the respect I was going to earn. I was looking forward to branching out to uncharted territories. I had some ideas that were radical in thinking.

His salt and pepper hair and wrinkles underneath his eyes confirmed my suspicion stress was the main reason for his absence from the company. He had gone through a health crisis demanding him to slow down. In the interim, I had taken over and had run the ship in the very same image. It wasn’t the time to break ground on innovative ideas.

“I put myself in your shoes. I think about what you would do in any crisis. I do put my own spin on things, but that’s only to make me feel like I’m contributing in my own way. I want success and I demand nothing but perfection from myself and those working underneath me.” I felt alive watching the money pool in.

New clients were depending on us to give them the retirement they deserved.

“I’m expecting big things from you. I’m not stepping down. I will be around from time to time to check in. I know my decision won’t be met favorably by the rest of the Board of Directors. They are under the impression I’m going to give this position to my son. As much as I would love to keep it in the family, he has shown to be unreliable and I can’t depend on him to make the tough decisions.” I felt elated and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

“I won’t let you down. Failure has never been an option. There is no quit in my vocabulary. You’ve been the guiding light for this company. Let me pick up the torch where you left off and run with it.” He was one of the few who weren’t swayed by my flirtatious comments and brief peeks at my unmentionables.

“I want you to crush the competition with the heel of your shoe. I still have a few days to make my decision. I have a list of candidates on my desk and none of them hold a candle to you. I would like you to keep this to yourself until the ink is on the contract. Discretion is the better part of valor.” His leather-backed chair swung from side to side.

Behind him was the landscape of the city that never slept. New York had the capacity to eat you alive. I was not immune to how the city awakened with a different rhythm at night. It could be beautiful, but it could also be deadly with the dregs of society coming out to find their pound of flesh.

Actors were a dime a dozen. I saw them out of the corner of my eye mumbling their lines underneath their breath in the street or some coffee shop. Making it big wasn’t easy in any environment. The investment game was a doggy dog world and I was wearing milk bone underwear.

“Nobody will hear it from me until you make it official.” I was still worried and it was a well-known fact he had others to influence his decisions.

“I look at you and I see the daughter I never had. This company is built on trust. We don’t take shortcuts around here. This place has been my second home for 40 years. I really don’t know what I’m going to do with myself. Traveling does sound nice. My dearly departed wife is probably looking down from above chastising me with her finger.” He was in his sixties, but he was consciously aware of his health issues and was doing everything he could to mitigate the damage.

“You had three heart attacks in the span of five years. In the past year, you have transformed yourself and taken 20 years off of your life. Eating healthy and going to the gym downstairs has awakened a new spirit in you. I’m impressed and a little envious.” My exercise consisted of running up the stairs and avoiding the elevator every morning.

“I should’ve done this a long time ago. Giving up smoking cold Turkey was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I drink less and my personal trainer has given me a new lease on life. I don’t plan to squander it by sitting here in an office. It’s counterproductive. I will be the architect of my own destiny and I want you to follow my lead.” His respect was something I craved with my blood and tears to prove my loyalty.

“A great man was known to say there are leaders and followers. I’ve learned to step outside of my comfort zone to become a leader. The five people working for me know that I am tough but fair. It’s something of a trait we have in common.” I was buttering him up like a Sunday biscuit.

“Life is full of opportunities. None of us know when our time is up. We have to grab life by the fist. I do something different every day. I want to meet death head-on with no regrets. I will swim with the sharks in Australia and surf along the Great Barrier Reef. I have made a bucket list and I’m going to follow through on each one.” His aspirations were something to admire and emulate.

I had one older brother living in Hong Kong teaching English to the impoverished and underprivileged. He was making a true difference in the world with something he could tangibly hold onto. I was always good with numbers and made a career out of giving the little guy a leg up. It wasn’t about the rich getting richer. That was for other investment firms.

“Mr. Jacobs, I came to work for you because you are a visionary. It’s not all about the almighty dollar. A man works tirelessly day and night trying to keep ahead of the bills. They want to know there’s some kind of reward at the finish line.” I felt empowered to be at the forefront and in the trenches with the other Investment Bankers.

“We make smart decisions and we have to continue to follow the trend. People don’t want to worry out about their money. They want us to do that for them. We give them a no obligation 30-day trial to prove to them we are the ones to work with. Don’t lose sight of what we do this for. I know you see things my way.” The security of the people in their twilight years was paramount.

I sent a text message to Bryce. I told him there was a reason to celebrate and we should meet up at our favorite restaurant at the end of the day. I couldn’t say much, but my smile would speak louder than words.

Chapter two

Bryce

The paperwork was piled high on my desk. I looked up to see Mr. Thompson glad-handing with his two sons. My rise to the top of the food chain was stunted. Nepotism was a crime against those working their fingers to the bone. I couldn’t blame Mr. Thompson for wanting to give his sons a fighting chance.

“I see the way that you are staring daggers at them. I hope you know you’re going to be missed. You are destined for bigger things. It’s about time you dangled your experience into the pool of available positions in the city. I will do my best to trudge on without you.” Samantha was a redheaded vixen always trying to get into my pants.