Just For You

I laugh and nod. To be honest, I don’t know how much difference it would have made if he had been around. Would he have been able to hack having a baby? Probably not, just because I was blinded with love, it doesn’t mean that I can’t see how young and dumb he was. I guess we both were, and certain life things forced us to grow up in our own individual ways. It would’ve been a different story back then.

“But, I just want to say to you that I’m sorry now… for all of it. I’m sorry that I didn’t explain to you what was happening, that I pushed you away when you wanted to speak to me, that I didn’t speak after…”

“It’s okay,” I do my best to reassure him. “It honestly doesn’t matter. I get it, it’s fine, honestly.”

Kade smiles at me, then he completely shocks me by leaning upwards and crashing his lips into mine. My brain instantly shuts down, I don’t even think, I get swept away by the familiar but strange sensation of Kade kissing me. It’s a shock, but a good surprise, I like it. It warms me up and brings all those weirdly amazing feelings raise to the surface once more. I absolutely love it in every single way.

But then reality kicks in and I realize that this is insane. I’m kissing Kade after promising myself that I wouldn’t go anywhere near him again. I?

?m not supposed to be succumbing to all of this.

“No, stop.” I gasp while placing a palm flat on his chest. “No, we can’t kiss. We just can’t.”

“Why not?” Kade shrugs as if my reservations make absolutely no sense at all. “There are still feelings here. Why shouldn’t we be kissing? There isn’t anything holding us back anymore, is there?”

Yes! We can’t kiss because of Logan, we can’t kiss because we share a child and I’m dishonest…

“It’s just too quick. We only just saw each other after five years away, it’s mental.”

“Okay.” He pushes himself off the bed and he looks down at me. I can see the wildness dancing behind his eyes and I have to admit that all I want to do is dive into his arms. “Okay, so it’s quick. I get that, we need to be more careful. We’re older now and you have a child… but you can let me take you out on a date, right?”

A date… that’s terrifying, but also will give me some more much needed alone time with Kade. I need to get used to who he is now so I can work out what my next move should be. Nothing has to happen.

“Yeah, I can do that,” I reply slowly. “I have to go now though.” I don’t know if I can control myself.

“Let me take you out for dinner tomorrow then. We’ll just hang out, no pressure, reconnect once more. It’ll be good. Please say yes, Lucie, I promise that it’ll be good.”

“Sure.” I’m practically breathless. Right now, I’ll say anything to get my escape. “Tomorrow. Good.”

23

Kade

The fact that Lucie still likes me is enough to continually drive me. I so desperately want to get my second – or third – chance with her, it’s really brought me back to life. Before Lucie came back into my life, I think I must have been sleeping, but now I’m wide awake. She kissed me back, that means something. Okay, so she freaked out and she ended it before things could get too wild, but that’s okay. I don’t mind. Maybe it’s better because now we get to do things slowly, in the right way. Now, I can take her out on a real date.

I pause at the end of her driveway and wait for her to come out. She told me to do this so Logan doesn’t know where she’s going, which is fair enough. She doesn’t want to bring me into his life when we don’t know what’s going on between us. I’m being calm and respectful, I’m doing things correctly. I think.

“Oh, wow.” As she finally rushes out of the house in a summery style yellowy dress that swooshes around her body, my heart skips a beat. She has her hair piled up on the top of her head in a messy style bun which shows me her naked delicious flesh. I want to sink my teeth into said flesh, not that I will. It might have been a very long time, especially for me, but I can wait a little while longer. If I really have to. “You look great.”

As Lucie’s eyes travel up and down my body I feel my racing pulse. She’s giving me a glare that’s filled with lust and I love that look. I’m glad that I’m not in this alone, I want her to want this too.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, you’re a little more casual than in the suit last night.”

I’m wearing a tee shirt, and slacks, because I didn’t want this to seem too heavy. This is casual, the whole night is going to be relaxed, which is exactly what the pair of us need. No pressure, no stress.

“So, I was thinking that we could head to Mama Jo’s tonight.” I extend out my arm and she links hers through mine. “Do you remember how we always used to be there as kids? Like, for your birthday?”

“I do.” She nods slowly. “Yeah, it was a whole lot of fun, wasn’t it? We had a good time.”

As we walk towards the restaurant, which I chose because it’s so near to our homes, we chat and laugh going back to our place of nothing but friendship, it’s nice. I feel closer and more connected to her than I have done in a very long time. I’m glad we didn’t rush into sex, if we’d slept together last night, things could be really awkward today. This time, if we’re going to make it work for real, then we need to take it slow.

The atmosphere in the restaurant is bubbling in Mama Jo’s, it’s filled with other people, including families. I see Lucie’s eyes flicker over to a few of the families, no doubt thinking about her own child, which makes me wonder… I guess I need to ask about Logan’s dad, just to learn the story there. It’s a sensitive subject, somehow, I need to tackle it in a suitable way. I don’t know if tact is my main specialty, but I’ll give it a go.

We take a seat and pick out menus, but before I can scan my eyes over the food on offer my mouth opens and word vomit comes spilling out without me even meaning to. “So, do you mind if I ask you something?”

Her wide eyes glance up at me and she nods. “Sure, what’s going on? You look deep in thought.”

“Do you mind if I ask you about Logan’s father? Like, is he in the picture at all…”