Single Daddy Scot (Hot Scots)

Nothing of note had really happened, and not many months later, she was gone. We’d joked about it once or twice since she’d returned to Scotland, only because I’d made the mistake of telling Ivy once. I was gonna tell her how I felt about Fin, how I’d loved her all these years, but I’d never gotten past the bit about our fumbling before she’d collapsed on the sofa, laughter bringing her to the verge of tears. The idea to her was so laughable, so I’d never told her the rest.

And now, as she sits in my living room with my wee boy on her lap, I realise the way I’ve felt about her has been forever tied to that night. I love her. I probably always will. But not like I’ve believed all these years.

21

Ella

She is lovely. Slavic cheekbones and a rosebud mouth. And so happy to see Mac—genuinely happy—even if it appears she has no idea how he feels.

Yep, that’s what my money’s on. Her expression is open. She’s clearly happy to see him without a trace of want or angst.

As he enters the room all work rumbled and gorgeous, the look on his face as his gaze slides to Fin? Well, everything slips into place.

The blonde references. The look in his eyes as they feed over her fully. The tenderness in his expression. The way he looks to be drinking her in. The way he’s held himself back.

The way he looks as though he’s just swallowed a brush.

‘What are you doing here?’ he asks. Then, as though realising the charge in his words, he holds out his arms like some kind of magnanimous summer Santa Claus. ‘What a lovely surprise!’

He makes his way over to where she sits on the sofa, sliding his arms around one shoulder, placing his lips against her cheek. It’s awkward, so awkward, for him and for me, and I’m just standing here like a lump of cheese. Like a lump of smelly old Gorgonzola next to a cool, crisp glass of champagne. I try not to scurry into the kitchen, keeping my pace sedate. Of course, I want to leave them to it—and not add to Mac’s awkwardness—but I also want to watch their dynamic. Understand what’s going on.

If it’s only ever going to be her, then how come she doesn’t appear to know.

‘I figured if I had to wait for an invitation,’ she says as Mac ruffles his son’s hair, moving away to sit in the chair farthest from her, ‘I’d be waiting a long time.’ There’s a touch of friendly accusation, her accent mild Scots with something transatlantic mixed in.

‘You’re welcome anytime. You know that.’

‘Really?’ she teases. ‘We live in the same city, and I didn’t even know where you lived.’

‘It’s a big city.’ He shrugs, then tries on a smile that doesn’t last.

‘The point I’m trying to make is, I had to ask Ivy where you lived.’

‘Aye, well, many’s a year when I didn’t know where you lived, either. That’s life,’ he adds, softening the bite to his words. ‘We grow up. We move on,’ he says, his expression drifting to mine for a beat. If only he believed his own words.

‘That’s on me.’ From the kitchen, I can’t see Fin’s expression, but I hear the regret in her words. ‘And I’m sorry.’

‘Daddy, the lady brought me a present.’

Attentions turn to Louis and the gift. I watch them full of sadness. For us all.

Sad for Louis as it’s painfully obvious he misses his mum. He’d taken to her like a signet takes to a swan.

And I’m sad for Mac for what pain seeing Fin must cause. How long has he kept his love secret? And at what cost?

Mostly, I’m just sad for myself for what almost was.

‘Where are my manners?’ I hear Mac say. ‘Congratulations on the nuptials. I hear your mum was over the moon?’

Ah. Well, then. There’s the reason they aren’t together.

‘Yeah, once she got over the shock of finding out we’d gotten hitched on holiday,’ she answers, laughing.

‘And how’s Rory?’ Mac’s expression is carefully blank as Fin begins extolling the virtues of her husband, obviously very in love.

As I can’t bear to watch Mac trying so hard, I finish clearing away Louis’s dinner dishes and tell him it’s time for bed. I feel like the hired help as I peel him away from his new and generous friend.

‘What do you say,’ I parrot, manners being if not everything, important enough.

‘Thank you for my ninja turkles.’

‘You’re welcome, sweetheart. Is it okay if Auntie Fin comes and visits you again? Maybe we could go for a wee jaunt to the park?’

‘Wee mean likle. Waf takes me to the park for looonng,’ Louis says, throwing out his arms.

‘Maybe Waf, was it?’ She looks at me for clarification, but before I can open my mouth, Mac cuts in. ‘Raph, he means. Raphaela here has been our lifesaver.’