Welcome to Hell: Rediscovering First Love

“God James could you give me a second to get settled?”

“Shut your smart mouth,” he snapped.

“Enough James,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Pass the potatoes,” James ordered.

Keegan handed them to me so that I could hand them to James who was to my left. The bowl was warm something he hadn’t expected and he nearly dropped it in surprise.

“Damn Gabrielle you could have warned me.”

“That wasn’t my mother’s fault,” Keegan said defending me. She hated it when he blamed me for things that were his doing.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” James shouted.

“I really don’t give a damn,” Keegan smarted off. “Don’t yell at my mother.”

“Why don’t you just go to your room,” James said with barely controlled anger.

“Fine with me.” Keegan rose from her chair.

“Sit down,” I commanded in a strong firm voice. My daughter knew not to screw with me. She sat her ass back on the chair. “She will be having dinner with me here or no one will have dinner.”

“I don’t think it is a good idea Gabrielle to encourage your daughter to speak to adults this way,” Belle interrupted.

“I only speak to adults this way who act like jerks themselves,” Keegan clarified nastily.

James jumped out of his chair in a rage. His hand poised to slap my daughter. I flew out of my chair so quickly it toppled over and g

rabbed his arm. “Don’t you dare.” He sat down as swiftly as he stood.

I sighed heavily sending the bangs on my forehead fluttering about my face. “Enough Keegan please,” I implored.

“Whatever?” She was angry. Her amber colored eyes flashed with hatred for James and his mother.

After a long and tense dinner Kat and I cleared the dishes from the dining room. My back ached from standing and cooking all day but James never offered to do the clean-up task no matter what I had done that day. It was fine with Kat and me though. Cleaning up gave us space from the two of them. Apart they were nearly tolerable but together they were completely impossible.

“Mom,” she began tentatively, “do you think we could spend Christmas with Dad?”

“I…I don’t know Keegan.”

It sounded like a wonderful idea. What could I say? She had surprised me with this question. I didn’t know what plans Kerry had for the holidays. There was no answering Keegan without talking with Kerry first.

“Dad said he could come here if that would be more convenient.”

I guess I didn’t need to talk with Kerry. Keegan already had.

“I just want to see him at Christmas,” she added sadly.

“Why so sad?” I asked my daughter.

“I hate him,” she said looking towards the den. “I can’t stand the way he talks. I can’t stand the way he chews his food. Hell, I can’t even stand the way he uses his napkin to wipe his mouth. I can’t even imagine you like screwing him. He is so gross Mom.” Her facial expression was total disgust.

I nearly laughed out loud but knew she wouldn’t be appreciative if I did so I hugged her. I held her for several minutes.

Then I said without thinking, “We haven’t had sex in months.”

“More information than I needed Mom,” she replied pushing me away.