Welcome to Hell: Rediscovering First Love

Emotional mood swings, check.

Nausea, check.

Passed out, check.

Fairly sure I was late for my period, check.

I almost started to cry.

That’s what you told me last time. His words echoed in my head.

“Are you there dear?” My mother asked with concern.

“I’m here Yancy,” I replied wishing that at least James would disappear but he continued to watch over me with concern.

“Are you pregnant?” She asked me softly as if the others in the room with me could hear her through the telephone.

“I think so,” I told my mother.

“You can’t talk can you?” She asked.

“Nope. James carried me to the sofa. He and Kat are watching me closely right now. You would think I had something seriously wrong with me. I just stood up too quickly. That’s all,” I insisted for Kat and James’s benefit not for my mother.

“Do you know who the father is?” Yancy asked still using her soft, quiet voice. “There was talk if I recall from my drug induced state of you spending the night with Kerry McCoy.

“Yes, I know.”

“James?” She asked hesitantly.

“Oh God no,” I replied vehemently.

“Thank you Jesus. Are you sure?”

Oh yeah, I’m sure. Warm brown eyes floated before mine. How would I tell him this time? How would he react?

“Oh yeah. I’m sure Yancy. You need to stay in Hell. I’m sure that between Kat and James I’ll be well taken care of. You need to take care of yourself right now. Your chemo starts next week doesn’t it?”

My mother understood my play with words was to keep Kat and James from knowing what I was actually discussing with her.

“Yes I do dear,” she replied. “Gabrielle, Kerry is the father.”

It was a statement not a question but I answered it anyway. “Yes,” I said softly with firm conviction. “I love you too. How was the day with the grandchildren?” I asked hoping she would change the subject.

“I have to say that I’m glad. You don’t need to be tied to James Ellerton through a child. The day with the family was just peachy. I swear Jack is a bigger ass than Byron if possible. I love that boy dearly but pity the woman who marries him. It is hard enough to watch Michaela put up with Byron. I don’t want to see another woman go through what Michaela goes through. Byron has taught him well. Jack the younger made some very poor jokes about my hair falling out soon,” Yancy said painfully.

“God you must be kidding?” I asked incredulously.

“I’m not kidding. Your father was furious. Then, Michaela started to cry and ran from the room. There was a cloud over the rest of the day. Did you know that she and Byron are seeing a therapist?”

“Yes, I knew.”

“Of course you did. I don’t think it’s working just between you and me.”

I had not wanted to see my mother loose her beautiful red hair but at least she was still alive I told myself. “How was Adin?”

“She and Brad are getting married in July or August but I’m sure you already knew that too. Everyone tells you everything before they tell anyone else. Your sisters will be expecting you to call to wish them a Merry Christmas not that they couldn’t call you but you know how they are dear.”

“I’ll do that as soon as we hang up.”