Marriage For One

Those mornings were my favorite, because it was something else to wake up wrapped in his arms. I felt protected, cared for, and maybe for the first time in a very long time, like I belonged somewhere: in his arms. Those times, I wasn’t brave enough to tease him, and I just closed my eyes and took my fill instead.

When we were both vertical and wearing actual clothes, that was when I flourished in making him squirm. So much for my bravery.

“Jack?” I mumbled, peering over my shoulder. His lips were right there, only inches away, and I shivered when those same full lips pressed a kiss on my bare shoulder. He was already awake, apparently. I tried to turn onto my back so I could look at him, but with his body covering mine, it wasn’t possible. I only managed to turn halfway, craning my neck back the rest of the way. “Is everything okay?” I croaked out, my voice heavy with sleep. Apart from the city lights casting a shadow on his face, there were no lights on, just us.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispered.

Jack’s hand found mine and I held it up, palm against palm, his skin warm against my fingertips.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

Watching our hands dance as he gently tapped his fingers against mine in the low light, I linked my fingers with his, tightly, and listened to him release a long breath.

“You want me to believe you just woke up to hold hands with me?”

“I talked to your doctor today.”

I turned my body a little more toward him and cautiously watched his face.

“When?”

“After dinner. I called his private phone.”

“And?” I prompted anxiously when he didn’t go on. I was starting to hate the word doctor.

“He sent the email today with the results, and I thought it was a bill so I opened it. The MRI was clean. The surgery worked. There is no tear in your membrane anymore.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my head back onto the pillow, releasing the biggest sigh in the world. I was feeling a little dizzy with relief. A weight had been lifted off my chest with his words, the equivalent of a baby elephant. I felt worlds lighter.

“But you still need to be careful—you know that, right?” Jack reminded me.

That I did. The doctor had warned me that usually when a CSF leak happens out of nowhere, there is a high chance that the same issue can pop up in a different part of the membrane. If the pressure is constantly high, it really is inevitable.

I opened my eyes and looked at Jack with a big smile. “I know, I know, but I’m still happy to have good news.” However, Jack didn’t look all that happy. My brows lowered. “Is everything else okay? You don’t look very excited.” I touched the space between his brows with my fingertip after I pulled my hand out of his grip. “Why this frown?”

Catching my finger in his hand, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on my temple that caused my eyes to fall closed and my entire body to wake up and take notice of the man looking at me with such an intense expression on his face.

“Jack,” I mumbled. My brain was screaming Danger!—the good kind.

“I asked if we were cleared for sex.”

That shut me up. My heart rate slowly picked up, and suddenly the room felt hotter.

“And?”

I swallowed and held my breath.

His victorious fingers found a way to link mine with his again, and he gave them a squeeze as he stared into my eyes. “He said if we took it slow, it’d be fine.”

“Huh.”

That was all I could come up with to say. Huh. I was a genius for sure.

I gave him my back but kept my tight hold on his hand so he was forced to spoon me again.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I thought we should wait the last five days.”

“Now? Now you don’t think we should.”

“No, I don’t think we should.”

“What are you thinking?” he whispered into my ear in a hoarse voice, causing all the hairs on my arms to rise. “I thought you were waiting for this. I thought you wanted this.”

I worried my teeth over my bottom lip. I could hear every little noise in the room. His breathing was low and deep, and the sound the sheets made when he tucked his legs behind mine was a soft swoosh, caressing my senses.

I was on the edge of whimpering like a little girl when I felt his tongue on my neck, kissing me, tasting me.

“I do want to,” I whispered, my eyes fluttering closed as if I was afraid he’d hear me.

Silence followed my words for at least a full minute.

“It’s okay, Rose. Go back to sleep,” he whispered back.

How could I when his hard-on was getting harder and harder to ignore? I squeezed my eyes shut and went for it.