Marriage For One

“The event is going to be a big to-do, so I’d like you to buy something appropriate for the evening.”

It was him saying things like this with that unreadable expression of his that made me not like him sometimes.

“Did I do a bad job last time? At the dinner with your partners?” I asked, avoiding his gaze.

“No. Stop putting words into my mouth.”

“Then what is this?” I pushed the credit card back toward him.

His forehead creased, and since I’d dropped my gaze from his eyes, I watched a muscle in his jaw twitch. “So you can buy a dress for an event you’re going to attend because of me. You don’t need to spend your own money. Save it for the rent you’re eventually gonna be paying me.” He pushed the black plastic back toward me.

“I can buy my own dress and pay rent, Jack.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t, Rose, but I’m saying I’d like to buy this one.”

It was the fact that I couldn’t argue further that got to me the most, I thought, that I really couldn’t afford to buy a dress that would be appropriate for someone who would be on his arm for a big charity event. We were worlds apart. If we had met under different circumstances, we would have had nothing in common. A ‘we’ wouldn’t have been a possibility. So…we really were playing pretend, and I had to get that into my head whenever I was looking into his eyes and starting to catch feelings.

No more feeling mushy when he came to the coffee shop—which happened often.

No more jumpy heart whenever he walked through the door.

No more of those excited little butterflies everyone kept talking about being all fluttery in my stomach.

This was a business deal between two adults, nothing less, nothing more.

Logically, he was right. I wouldn’t be going to such a high-profile event if it weren’t for him, so it made sense that he’d buy the dress, but I couldn’t ignore how small it made me feel around him.

“Okay, Jack.”

Without another word, I picked up the credit card.

I was more than ready to leave for work and get far away from him. I was quietly passing Jack when his hand on my arm stopped my movement. I was expecting him to ask me his favorite question: What’s wrong with you? I was trying to come up with an answer that would let me get out of the kitchen quicker when his other hand gently nudged my chin up and my surprised eyes met his. His thumb gently swiped back and forth on my jawline as if he had no control of it. Then it stopped and his hand slowly cupped my cheek.

My heart jumped in my chest—even though I’d decided mere moments ago that it wasn’t allowed to do that—and then slowly started to pick up speed as I realized I couldn’t look away from his searching eyes. My lips parted because I wanted to say his name, wanted to tell him to…not look at me so intently, as if we weren’t as fake as it got. I wanted to say I didn’t think I could take it anymore.

His expression softened, the creases on his forehead smoothing out.

“Buy whatever you want, for me.”

For him? I nodded, incapable of stringing two words together. His gaze moved across my face, pausing on my lips, and I simply forgot how to breathe. What was he doing? What witchery was this?

First you breathe out and then in. No, you need to breathe in first. You need air in your lungs first to be able to breathe out.

“Something white, maybe, or nude,” he continued, unaware of my flustered state. “You look good in those colors.”

I do?

What in the world was happening?

I tried to fire up my brain so I could think if he’d ever seen me in white, but other than maybe a white blouse I wore over my black jeans, I couldn’t think of a single outfit.

I swallowed and managed another nod.

If at that moment he had smiled at me, I was fairly certain it would have pushed me straight out of my trance because I would’ve been sure this was a copy of Jack Hawthorne—a really gorgeous one, but just a copy—but he didn’t. When I didn’t stumble after he let go of my arm, I thought I could survive anything, but then he tucked the longest part of my bangs behind my ear and started leaning toward me. He was only a tad quicker than a turtle this time, but it still gave me time to slightly lean back with widened eyes.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

He completely ignored my attempt to protect myself and gently pressed a kiss right under my jawline on my neck.

I forgot how to breathe, how to exist in this new world.