The Hardest Fall

“Zoe.”

I had to close my eyes, not because the rain was picking up, but because of him, because of what he did to me. Was there anything better than hearing Dylan’s morning voice mumble my name on the phone? I didn’t think so—or maybe there was; hearing him mumble my name right against my ear would do it too. In fact, it would do it way better.

“You came home and didn’t wake me up,” he continued as I tried to recover from what his voice was doing to me. The previous night was still fresh in my mind, and I could still feel his body pressing against mine, how I eager I’d been.

The damn had broken.

“It was pretty late. You looked tired, so I didn’t want to wake you up.” I’d snuck by and tiptoed to my room after finding him asleep on the couch, but I had thrown a blanket on him…so that counted for something.

Knowing what would happen, what we’d end up doing if I did wake him up had prevented me from continuing where we’d left off.

You might call me a chicken; I call myself smart.

I didn’t want to have to lie to him—or depending on what you thought, I didn’t want to have to keep lying to him. I didn’t have a boyfriend; that was what I’d told him, and it was the truth. Sure, I was forcing it a little bit since I’d never had a boyfriend to begin with, but still, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and I would tell him the rest—really, I would. As I’d guessed, he thought I had something going on with Mark, and who could’ve blamed him for coming to that conclusion, for God’s sake? It was all on me, and I knew that.

So, in a few hours or so, depending on what Kayla wanted to talk about, I’d call Mark—or better yet, text him—not to ask permission, but just so he wasn’t blindsided completely in case Dylan said something to him about it. I’d given him Chris, had let him decide on the best time to tell him, but Dylan was mine. He wouldn’t have that. I wouldn’t let him decide when or how where Dylan was concerned.

There was also the fact that Chris was Dylan’s best friend, and thinking about that had kept me up all night. Would Dylan run and tell Chris who I was? He was his best friend—could I ask him to keep me a secret? Would he? Did I even have the right to ask him?

Needless to say, I had no answers.

But I had Dylan.

I had the ghost of his touch on my neck, on my skin, constantly driving me crazy, and I wanted more. I wanted pretty much everything from him.

“Zoe? Did you hear what I said?”

“Sorry. Can you, maybe, repeat that? My mind just wandered off.”

“Your mind just…” A long sigh. “Where are you? You’re not running away from what happened last night, are you?”

“No. In fact, I’m offended you’d think that.” I huffed out a breath. “I’m meeting Kayla at the library, and after that…well, I have no idea how long it will take—she just sent a text this morning and I’m not sure what’s going on, but she wasn’t good last night. I didn’t want to leave her, but her boyfriend got back pretty drunk with two of his friends so she sent me away. Something’s definitely up, and I think she might be breaking up with Keith, though it’s happened before and he’s always managed to win her back so I’m not so sure if this time will be any different, but then again—”

“Baby.” That raspy chuckle pretty much killed me. “Stop. You were saying, after that…”

Baby. Baby. Baby.

I halted and closed my eyes. Twice he’d called me that, and each time the butterflies in my stomach had taken flight.

I cleared my throat and started walking again. “I was saying what?”

Another low chuckle reached my ears and my heart warmed at the sound.

“You said you’re meeting Kayla at the library then you got off track after that part.”

Right.

“After that, I want to talk to you.” I heard a long sigh and then a door close.

“Yeah, talking. We need to do that.”

“Where are you?”

“A few minutes behind you, I’m guessing. Have you made it to the library yet? It’s raining, so be careful.”

I did a 360 and looked around. There were people running around trying to escape the rain, but that was it. It was Sunday, after all. “I’m not melting away, if that’s what you mean by be careful, but what do you mean a few minutes behind?”

“I’m meeting with Chris for a workout. If you’re not done with Kayla by the time we’re finished in the weight room, I’ll come find you at the library.”

The sooner, the better, I thought. Being out in public instead of in a private, confined space like the apartment where there were beds and couches and counters and semi-flat surfaces would help.