Operation Fake Relationship

The squeaking only kept Seth’s attention for a couple of minutes though, and soon he was on the move again, pulling more toys out of the box. None of them caught his interest for long. Eventually he gave up on the toys altogether and started climbing over Nick and Jackson instead, as they sat leaning against the sofa with their legs stretched out along the floor.

“Do you want to have kids one day?” Nick asked.

Blindsided, Jackson considered the question. It wasn’t something he’d given much thought to, but the answer rose from his gut and came out decisive. “Yeah. I do. You?”

“Yes. Definitely.” Nick picked up Seth and lay him on his back on the floor, tickling his belly till he giggled. “I want a family.”

“Two point four children?” Jackson teased.

“The point four can be a dog. I want one of those too.”

“That sounds pretty awesome.” Jackson briefly allowed himself to imagine an alternative reality where he and Nick got married and adopted two adorable kids and an adorable dog.

“Doesn’t it?”

Seth twisted away from Nick’s grasp and pulled himself up on Jackson’s arm. He stood there for a moment, suddenly still and frowning in concentration. Then his face turned red and he made a grunting sound.

An unmistakeable odour intruded, chasing away Jackson’s rose-tinted daydreams.

Nick laughed. “Thanks for the reality check, Seth. I think it’s time we gave you back to your parents.”

Five

They’d finished the main course and were having a short pause while the crumble finished cooking.

Nick watched his father as he took a sip of his tonic water, and then smiled at something Adrian had said.

It was weird watching him drink tonic while the rest of them were having wine. Nick was begrudgingly impressed at his determination. Surely it couldn’t have been easy for him to be around other people knocking back the booze when he’d had a drinking problem.

Outwardly he seemed fine though. A little quieter than Nick remembered perhaps, and listening more than he was talking. But he seemed perfectly relaxed, and nobody else was behaving any differently around him.

Nick glanced around the table. Pete was well on the way to sloshed, which was usual for him. Maria and Adrian were drinking a little, but not excessively, and Jackson was only on his second glass. His gaze settled on Jackson for a moment, and his stomach fluttered as he remembered the kiss under the mistletoe earlier. Nick had felt off-balance ever since, as though something had changed even though it hadn’t. The kiss hadn’t meant anything, it had only been to show off in front of his parents.

So why did it feel so intense? And why can’t I stop thinking about it?

The oven timer went. “That’s the crumble ready,” his mother said. “Let me go and get it out.”

“It’s okay, darling. I’ll go.” Nick’s father was already on his feet.

That was new too. In the past Nick remembered his father letting her do the brunt of the cooking, serving, and clearing up. Now he was much more involved, and quick to help without her asking.

“Okay, thank you.” She leant back in her chair and took another sip of wine. She sounded a bit tipsy, but she wasn’t much of a drinker normally so a sniff of the barmaid’s apron was usually enough to get her giggly and flushed.

Nick picked up his glass and took another swig. He’d already drunk more than he should. He could feel it in the fog that filled his brain and the pounding at his temples. Sitting in this room with his family, Nick felt as if he’d been transported back in time. They might all be ten or more years older, and there were a few extra bodies in the room, but the past loomed over him every time he caught his father’s eye. Thank fuck Jackson was between them as a buffer. With Pete sitting opposite him droning on to their father about his promotion opportunities, and pay rises, and the house he was hoping to buy, pressure was building inside Nick like steam with no escape valve. The fuzziness gifted to him by the alcohol coursing through his veins and Jackson’s calm presence beside him were the only things keeping him at the table.

So far he’d managed to avoid any conversation with his father, talking mainly to Maria who was on his other side. That suited him just fine.

But once the pudding had been served, Pete had his mouth full of crumble and he finally shut up for a moment.

Their father turned to Nick. “So, how’s your business going, Nick?”

Nick’s heart started beating double speed at being the focus of his father’s attention. “Good, thanks.”

“You’re still doing the same thing?”

“Graphic design. Yes.”

“There’s money to be made in that then?” The hint of surprise in his voice sent a hot rush of blood surging through Nick, heating his ears and making his collar feel too tight. His father had never supported his educational choices, sneering at his decision to study art and design rather than more academic subjects. He gritted his teeth, willing himself not to snap. “You’re managing to earn a decent living with it?”