Operation Fake Relationship

What the fuck was I thinking?

Thinking hadn’t really come into it. When he’d kissed Jackson in the Pirate Tree earlier, he’d acted on pure instinct. He had no idea where the desire that had swept over him had come from. As long as he’d known Jackson, he’d never wanted him like that before. It wasn’t that Jackson wasn’t attractive. He was clearly drop-dead gorgeous. But he was also Nick’s best friend, his flatmate, his rock. Plus, he wasn’t the sort of guy that Nick usually went for. He was far too nice. Jackson was worth a hundred of the arseholes who Nick usually dated. He’d let himself fall for wankers over and over again until he’d finally given up on relationships altogether to focus on himself.

Two years of counselling later, Nick understood what had kept him trapped in that painful cycle of disappointment and heartbreak, and his counsellor thought he was ready to move on. But Nick didn’t trust himself. He was still too wary to try again in case he got swept back into that harmful pattern.

If I was in a relationship with Jackson, it would be completely different.

Nick shoved the thought away quickly, because it was too dangerous to think of Jackson like that. Even if Jackson did have feelings for him, who was to say that would last? And if they became lovers, what if Nick got bored and wanted out after a couple of weeks—like he always had with guys who didn’t treat him like crap?

All those years of friendship and loyalty could be damaged irrevocably if they risked a relationship and it didn’t work out. There was far too much to lose. Somehow they had to find a way to get back to normal once they got home.

One more night, Nick promised himself. We can have just one more night, and then it will be over and everything will go back to how it was.

Nick woke to the creak of the bed as Jackson climbed out of it.

“What time is it?”

“Nearly nine,” Jackson replied. “I’ve been awake reading for a while, but I’m getting hungry. I thought I’d have a shower now if that’s okay?”

“Yeah. Course. Go for it.”

Left alone, Nick got up just long enough to open the curtains and wrinkle his nose at the slate grey sky and the rain. He fell back into bed and watched raindrops trickle down the window pane, hoping the half-arsed daylight would wake his brain up a bit. He was groggy and headachy this morning after tossing and turning for hours last night, stressing about Jackson.

Jackson didn’t seem to have had any trouble sleeping, Nick thought resentfully. Why was he the only one losing sleep over this?

Despite his uneasy thoughts, his eyelids drooped and he dozed off again, waking when Jackson returned with a towel around his waist.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” He pulled off the towel and threw it at Nick.

“Oi!” Nick sat up and whipped Jackson’s arse with the towel until Jackson grabbed it and won the ensuing tug-of-war.

They grinned at each other, and Nick’s spirits lifted. Things were going to be okay. This was Jackson. They’d been mates for too long to fuck this up.

“You getting up, lazy butt?” Jackson asked once he was dressed. “Or am I gonna have to go and forage for breakfast in your parents’ kitchen all alone?”

“I’ll get up.” Nick heaved himself out of bed, stretched and yawned, then started to put on his clothes.

The rain persisted all morning, and nobody fancied venturing out. Pete took up residence in front of the TV, Nick’s dad disappeared into his study, and his mum shut herself away to do some yoga. Nick and Jackson spent the morning helping Maria and Adrian entertain Seth, and helped Nick’s mum make lunch while Seth had a short nap.

The early part of the afternoon was more of the same. Nick was bored and restless, glad of the distraction when Seth was around. It was hard to be anxious when his nephew was so cute. He seemed to have decided Nick was his favourite person today, and made Nick read the animal book with him over and over until he got overexcited and boisterous, climbing over Nick and Jackson until they made a pile of cushions for him in the middle of the floor to climb on instead.

Finally he wore himself out and it was naptime again.

“Wave bye to Uncle Nick,” Adrian said. “Bye bye.” He waved at Nick, demonstrating.

Nick waved back, grinning at Seth. “Bye, Seth. Have a good nap.”

Seth blinked, eyes slightly glazed, and then held out a chubby hand with starfish fingers and opened and closed his fist a few times.

“Clever boy!” Maria beamed from her spot on the sofa. “And wave to Uncle Jackson too.”

Nick’s heart picked up and he glanced at Jackson. Jackson just smiled and waved to Seth, who mirrored the action again.