Scorch (Virtues & Lies 2)
“The other night…at the hotel…” She looks at me with her heart broken in her eyes.
I don’t want to talk about it.
It was a stupid moment.
“I know you’re hurting. I feel your pain just as surely as I feel my own.”
“I told you, Belles, we’re one.”
“Then how could you fathom hurting yourself? Leaving me alone?”
I don’t know what to tell her. How to explain that I don’t know how to survive this without doing something other than waiting and plotting. There’s no clear answer on how to live past this…this pain…the guilt…all the hate and the need to hurt and kill.
“You’re the only person that understands.”
“Arabel—”
“No!” Shaking her head, she cups my jaw with the hand that cleaned my wound. “I would have no one. Nothing. Then what? Am I meant to survive losing our baby and you?”
“Arabella…”
“Am I meant to survive losing everything?”
“Belles…”
“How could you? How could you do that to me?”
Her hands squeeze me hard, the look in her eyes stony and hurt.
Fuck.
The truth is I just wanted a reprieve. And she had left me alone.
“You left me in the dark with no light and no hope. I was alone!”
She doesn’t shrink back. My words don’t push her away. Instead she presses herself closer to me.
“I won’t apologise for doing the best I can to protect you. I’m not sorry.”
“You should be.”
“Why?”
“Because I needed you.” My pride tells me to push her off and walk away from this conversation, but all I can do is hold her closer.
“I’m not sorry for doing the best thing by you. Had you gone after Kinsley or any one for that matter, you would most likely be dead. Charles made it very clear that you weren’t above the law. That if you stepped out of line, he wouldn’t clean your mess.”
“He is insignificant.” I hold her at arm’s length, trying to gauge what she’s saying. “Why would you let him come between us?”
Quiet.
Arabella adjusts herself, standing straighter. For a moment I’m instantly drawn to her scars. It’s the first time I’ve really seen them properly. The neat one across the bottom of her belly is the one that guts me the most.
That’s the one I broke my promise with.
Always choose her.
I couldn’t. They asked me to save my wife or risk losing them both.