The Heart of Us (Love in Isolation 4)

That's what the logical part of my brain says anyway.

The other part wants me to open that box and use that vibrator on her until she screams my name and comes all over it.

“I'm going to just...take this upstairs. You know, out of sight and out of mind. And then I'm going to drown myself in the ocean. Be right back.”

I chuckle at how frazzled she is. Not over the fact that she uses a sex toy but because of her sister's comments about her boss, me. If it weren't true, there's no way she'd be acting this way.

It takes Tatum twenty-five minutes to come back downstairs. She's changed her clothes and brushed out her hair, looking pretty as always.

“So?”

“So what?” She furrows her brows as she sits next to me on the couch.

“Did you give your new vibrator a test run?”

She stands, but I quickly grab her wrist and pull her down. “Oh come on, I'm just teasing.”

She shoots me a glare, and it causes me to laugh. “How about I share an embarrassing story with you so we're on an even playing ground? Then you can make fun of me for it all you want.”

Tatum folds her arms over her chest and stares at me. “That'll depend on how bad this story is.”

I turn my body toward her with a grin. “I had a major crush on a teacher in high school. She was at least ten to twelve years older than me, and it was the first time I realized I was attracted to older women. Of course, the circumstances made it a thousand percent illegal, but I needed a way to get my feelings out before I embarrassed myself. So I started writing in a journal. Random thoughts I had, what I noticed about her that day, and that eventually turned into poetry.”

“Oh my God,” she mutters, holding back a smile. Yeah, she already knows where this is going.

“Halfway through my junior year, she was offering after-school tutoring to five students only. You bet your ass I was first in line. Even though I was acing her English class, I was prepared to dumb myself down just to get her attention.”

Tatum looks at me with pity in her eyes and a smile on her lips. My plan to make her feel better is already working.

“My teacher knows I don't need the extra help, so instead, she asks me to help tutor one of the other students after school. Of course, I agree because I wanted any reason to be around her. He was a guy I had trouble with before, and I’d put him in his place a few times. You know the type of prick, a top athlete who talked shit a lot. While I was taking notebooks from my backpack, my journal fell out, and he grabbed it. Before I could stop him, he opened it and started reading.”

“Oh no...” Tatum smirks. “He saw all your private thoughts.”

“Yeah, then he read them aloud for everyone else to hear, even her. I stupidly wrote her entire name in one of my poems so I couldn’t even lie about who it was about. He was bigger than me, and I was too chickenshit to fight him. From that point on, I was teased for being in love with our teacher.”

“How'd she react?”

“She was humiliated, and so was I. Even worse was when she asked me to stay after, and the other students started a rumor that we were having an affair. News spread fast. Whispers about me echoed through the halls. I did my best to ignore them, but then a week later, the principal and counselor brought me into the office. They asked if I was being sexually abused or taken advantage of by a teacher. Of course I said no, but they got ahold of the notebook and used it as evidence against her. Some things I wrote were...graphic. Fantasies. With details. All in my sixteen-year-old head. They thought it was legit. The school placed her on leave while they decided what to do. Once they chose to take it to court, I had to testify and explain my fascination with her in great detail to prove that she’d never touched me.”

She slowly shakes her head in disbelief as I feel that humiliation all over again.

“Okay, you win. That is insane!” She gasps.

“Her husband was ready to murder me. Even though she wasn’t found guilty, it turned their lives upside down. By the time it was over, the whole town knew what happened, and she ended up moving across the country. I'd apologized profusely, but the damage was done. I learned a valuable lesson—never write down your feelings,” I say with a chuckle.

“Or tell your sister you have a younger, single, good-looking boss. Always comes back to bite you in the ass.”