Hold on to Hope

“Good mornin’, sweet boy. Did you have a good sleep?”

“Ehvie up.” He did that adorable nod where his head bobbed all the way to his scrunched shoulders, and I got that melty feeling I felt every time I looked at this child.

I didn’t hesitate, I picked him up from under the arms and swung him into mine. I cuddled him close, kissed his temple, inhaled his sweet baby scent. “Hey there, my little man.”

He rubbed his entire face on my chest, and I hugged him tight as I carried him over to his changing table. I laid him down, staring down at this boy who looked so much like his daddy, all emerald trusting eyes and wide sloppy grins as he bounced his fist in the air and blabbered me a story that I cooed right back.

And I felt it.

The connection.

Our spirits twined.

I changed him out of his diaper and into fresh clothes. “There we go, my sweet Ehvie.”

So, it was catchin’.

His little voice embedded in my mind and written on my soul.

I picked him back up. “Are you hungry?”

“Eat. Ehvie eat.” Another nod.

We went into the kitchen, Milo trailing us, wagging his tail, Everett babbling and pointing to him as we went.

Joy pressed down on my chest. The tightness no longer a feeling of wrong or something missing, but rather that I was getting too full with all that was right.

Setting him onto his feet on the floor, I filled a plastic sectioned plate with the eggs I’d already scrambled and a few pieces of fruit I’d chopped.

“Side?” he asked, tottering over for the door to the backyard.

“Do you want to eat outside?”

He smacked his hands on the glass.

I guessed that was a yes.

Laughing under my breath, I grabbed his plate and his sippy cup.

With my elbow, I edged open the massive sliding door that basically was a wall.

Did I mention this house was magic?

I was still in awe.

Couldn’t believe this was our home.

Couldn’t believe this was our life.

That Evan now was legally Everett’s father.

That we were so close to getting all of this figured out.

I wasn’t such a fool to think that Ashley wouldn’t come knocking one day. I just hoped Evan would have taken enough steps that Everett’s home would be established.

That there was no chance that she could ever fully take him away.

We stepped out onto the patio that was ground-height, something that would make it easy for Everett to run out and play in the fenced backyard.

My mama and daddy had brought by the cutest toddler patio table set as a house warming gift last night, but I think it was a whole lot more of a statement than anything else.

That they were accepting him, too.

That he was goin’ to be their grandchild every bit as much as he was going to be my son.

I knew Evan had spoken with them.

That he’d gone old-fashioned and pretty much asked my daddy for my hand.

I had to admit, I appreciated it, that he’d come right out and had been straightforward and admitted the things we should have confessed in the past. That this time we were doing it right.

Now I just had to take that one last step.

Fear threatened to take hold, but I stamped it down.

It no longer had any place.

I settled Everett down on one chair and placed his food in front of him.

“There you go, my sweet boy.”

Tenderly, I ran my hand over the top of his head. He tipped it up when I did, rubbing his head around like he loved the connection, and he scrunched up his adorable nose, making a snorting noise.

I was a puddle of heart-warmed bliss.

Giggles flooded into the warm morning air, everything his joy, and he pinched some eggs between his chubby fingers and offered them to me. “Fi-Fi, eat.”

I pretended to gobble it all up, and he laughed his belly laugh, and I didn’t think I’d ever felt so happy in my entire life.

“Okay, Everett’s turn. He has to eat all the rest so he can grow so, so, so big.”

He started shoveling the eggs and the diced pieces of fruit into his mouth, babbling at Milo who was sitting at the ready to get whatever scraps fell to the ground.

The bounty promised to be plenty.

“Aww gone,” he proclaimed, his plate only left with a few bits of egg that he couldn’t get, and he guzzled down a drink of his milk before he was climbing up and toddling across the lawn to the sandbox that was set up under the shade of a tree.

I watched.

Affection overflowing.

My cell rang and I glanced at it where I’d left it on the patio table.

Carly.

I grinned as I answered it. “Hey.”

“Oh my God. You are in so much trouble. Tell me you did not get engaged and then didn’t call and tell me.”