Hold on to Hope

Another adorable nod. “Ehvie, go?”

“Yeah, buddy, you can definitely go inside. We have some of our favorite people in there, don’t we?” I murmured.

My mom and Carly and Aunt Jenna.

And Frankie.

Frankie. Frankie. Frankie.

Just her name twisted me in a thousand knots of anticipation.

Two days had passed since I’d seen her.

Two days since I’d had her pressed up against that rock.

Two days since I’d tasted her again. Felt her again.

Two days since I was reminded of exactly what I was supposed to be fighting for. Reminded of what I never should have given up.

I glanced down at Everett, heart getting all tangled up again.

It was getting harder and harder to hold onto the idea that I shouldn’t have left. Kept getting the sense that maybe it’d been purposed. Required. Knowing this child wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t have gone off and given myself to the loneliness. Given myself to the recklessness.

I swung open the door.

Instantly, I was hit with the overpowering scent of sugar and cake and all things sweet.

It was mixed with the heavy aroma of fresh coffee brewing in the huge urns that were set up on the left side behind the counters. Rows of display cases ran to the right of that, filled with every delicious thing you could imagine.

Jenna was behind the counter. A huge smile split her face as she finished checking out the customer who was paying. As soon as the man stepped back and took a sip of his coffee, she was clapping. “Ah, you’re here! I was wondering when you were going to come back and see me again. I had to work the whole weekend and miss out on all the fun out at the lake. Damn Susie for going and gettin’ pregnant and being on maternity leave and making me have to step in to take her place. So uncool.”

It was all a ramble of a tease.

“Seems everyone around here is up and having babies from out of nowhere.” This time she was all raised brows and speculation.

I chuckled, roughing a hand through my hair, gazing over at Everett who’d made a beeline for the display cases and was currently slobbering all over the glass.

Remind me to take care of that.

“Life is full of surprises, isn’t it?” I told her, totally droll.

She rounded the counter, came directly for me, and pulled me in for a tight hug. Stepping back, she set her hand on my cheek and met my eye. “It sure is. And I hope you’re cherishing that surprise.”

“I guess it’s sometimes the least expected that come to mean the most to us.”

Affection filled her expression, and she angled her head, brushing her thumb over the freckles under my eye the way she’d always done when I was a little boy. “That’s the Evan I know. I sure missed him.”

“I’m right here,” I told her, knowing it was time I reclaimed what I’d thrown away. Praying it wasn’t too late. That the bridges I’d burned could be rebuilt. The love I’d shunned could be rescued.

Movement in my periphery grabbed my attention, and I looked that way to see my mom come out the swinging door.

Mom’s smile was so soft, so good, it flooded the entire room with warmth. “I was hoping you two would stop by to see me today. It’s getting harder and harder to get up and leave each day and not get to see my rolly polly before he wakes up.”

HE WAS ASKING FOR YOU, I signed.

WAS HE REALLY? Love gushed from her expression.

PRETTY SURE HE WAS ASKING FOR YOU BEFORE HE THOUGHT TO ASK FOR ME. WOKE UP TO HIM STANDING UP IN HIS CRIB, CLINGING TO THE SIDE AND JUMPING AROUND AND SHOUTING ‘GRAMMY’.

“Oh.” Mom pressed a hand to her chest. Overcome by her love for this kid. This sweet child that had come from out of nowhere and now held all of our hearts in the palm of his tiny hand.

She headed around the counter, and Everett nearly lost his shit when he saw her.

“Gammy, Gammy, Gammy! Bwue ball?” He started nodding like crazy, dipping his head way down, looking like he was doing some kind of dance.

“How about some breakfast first, and then you can have a treat. Did he eat?” She turned her head to ask me.

“Had some Cheerios and milk a couple hours ago.”

She tsked a little. “Cereal.”

“Don’t start judging my parenting skills.” I cocked a teasing brow at her. Like I had the first clue what it took to be a good dad. But I was sure as hell going to figure it out. “Pretty sure I did just fine on a bowl or two of Cheerios growing up. They’re good for the heart. I might live a year or two longer.”

Mom scowled. “Evan.”

“Bwue ball. Bwue ball,” Everett chanted.

Was funny how I couldn’t hear, and I still felt the chaotic nature of it. The way a child filled up a room, spirit so big and boisterous.