More of You (Confessions of the Heart 1)

Jace took a quick step back, and Joseph slumped forward, panting for a strained breath. That single bead of sweat had bloomed to a fucking sheet of perspiration soaking his shirt.

It took a second flat for his entire demeanor to shift. He stumbled a step forward, that look he’d mastered when he wanted something twisted through his expression, written in manipulation.

Desperate.

Needy.

Fake.

“Please, Jace, I didn’t intend to come in here and act like an asshole. I just . . . I need your help. Please. They’re gonna kill me, man. Please.”

Jace cracked a grin. “They’re gonna kill you, huh? I hope so.”

It was his own taunt.

His own disrespect.

Besides, Jace knew better than to believe a single word Joseph spouted. He stepped back and pointed at the door. “Get out before I kill you first.”

Three Weeks Later

Jace picked up his cell where he sat at his desk. Atlanta was spread out below him where he took in the view from his high-rise apartment.

He felt a single thud in his chest when he glanced at the screen.

“Mack,” he answered.

On the other end of the line, Mack pushed out a shaky sigh. “Jace, I have bad news.”

Jace’s heart froze in the middle of his chest.

“We found Joseph in his car in front of the grocery store. A bullet through his head.” A bottled sob scraped up Mack’s throat. “They killed him.”

Forty-Three

Faith

Tears kept streaking down my face where I was on my knees on the floor. The room spinning as I tried to make sense of the news I’d received.

I didn’t want to accept it.

The betrayals that had been meted at the hands of Joseph and Jace. I didn’t know which hurt worse.

My phone vibrated on my nightstand. A string of blips calling out.

With my insides twisted in pain, I forced myself onto my feet and stumbled that way, barely able to see through the bleariness of my eyes.

Through the loss that thrummed and churned and seethed.

Oh God. How was I ever gonna get through this?

How had I been so blind not to realize Jace knew more than he was telling me? How could he come into our home and keep this kind of secret?

There was no reconciling the two. No way to patch it or glue it or fix it.

Joseph was dead. Failing himself. Failing me.

And Jace was caught somewhere in the middle of it.

My soul cried out.

Horrified to realize I really hadn’t known Joseph at all.

That he’d been into all the things he’d promised me he never would.

Promising me that he was different.

That he would give me the kind of life that I deserved.

Maybe it was all my fault, anyway.

My fault for letting myself love him but knowing I could never love him all the way.

Maybe I was the one who was truly selfish, taking somethin’ for myself and knowing I couldn’t give all of myself in return.

Maybe I was the one who’d betrayed and shamed and gone the wrong way.

A wave of grief and guilt slammed me.

My knees knocked, and a raw sob clawed out of my throat.

Everything hurt.

Excruciating.

Blinding.

I tried to pick up the phone, and it clattered back down when it slipped from my trembling hands, and I sucked in a breath as I forced myself to focus, to pick it up.

To remember the only thing that really mattered was the little girl sleeping across the hall.

Her safety and her future.

I thumbed across the screen.

Jace: Felix is on his way over to stay with you until this is ended.

Jace: The last thing I will do is leave you unprotected.

Jace: Even though you hate me, I won’t leave either of you unsafe.

Jace: I’m so sorry, Faith. So sorry. The one thing I ask is that you never forget that I truly loved you.

I felt the force of his devotion through the words. His love and his regret. It nearly dropped me to my knees again.

My attention moved from the words on the screen to the picture I still had at my bedside.

Joseph and me on our wedding day.

My insides curled with grief.

How could you?

I wanted to scream and shout at him so loudly he would hear my words from beyond the grave.

How could you?

Immediately, the words of that letter I’d found filled my mind.

Faith,

The first time I saw you, I wanted you. I guessed I’d always chased after the things that weren’t mine. I’m so sorry for that. But I don’t regret it.

Do you remember the day we got married? Look at that picture, Faith. Look at me. It was the most honest day of my life. But even that honesty was tainted because you never really belonged to me.

I could never regret you. The only thing I wish is that I’d done it all differently.

Look at that picture, Faith. What you see there, it’s the truth.

Joseph

Tears blurred my eyes as I stared at the image. Both of us so young. What I felt for him so different from what I’d ever imagined for my wedding day.