Letting my cane fall to the grass, I wrapped my arms around his midsection and deepened the kiss. Once our days had suddenly become filled with life and activity with Noa and Cam, I’d also come to appreciate my quiet moments with Lucian more. Whether we took a short walk together or we had coffee in the morning before the boys were up, it was a time to savor and to exchange thoughts.
He teased my tongue with his before I nipped at his bottom lip, tasting nothing but mint on him.
Then we rested our foreheads together and enjoyed the comfortable silence.
Tomorrow was going to be taxing for him too. Rewarding and intoxicating, no doubt, but taxing, nevertheless. He and Cameron were going to spend the weekend in a TPE dynamic to explore what they might want to crank up in their relationship.
If I so much as breathed the words total power exchange to Noa, he’d laugh his cute ass off.
TPE wasn’t for me, thankfully. I needed my sub a little unruly.
The next morning, we woke up to a new atmosphere. The first day of this month’s Game. We heard people outside, getting things in order. Since I couldn’t compromise on my workout, Lucian helped me outside so I could get in the pool and have that over with. It was eight in the morning, and we had a lot to do.
River, Reese, Colt, Greer, and Kingsley were carrying heavy equipment from the house to the edge of the forest down the hill. Ivy and Gretchen were running around shouting orders nobody listened to. Shay and Tate were in the other end of the pool, pretending not to be looking at Kingsley.
Those two belonged together, Kingsley and Tate. I hoped they found a way back to each other.
When Reese returned to the patio, he yelled out that the main house was now strictly off-limits to anyone participating in the event.
Lucian returned from his run and pitched in to help the other organizers, and I wasn’t envious one bit. I’d been one of the monitors during the first event back in July, and it’d been pure hell on my legs. It was possible I’d pushed myself too hard that week.
Once I was done with my workout, Lucian was there again to help me.
He stowed away my kettlebells and the mat, seeming…extra affectionate. Extra fast to assist me. It was irritating because I felt useless.
“Do you need help in the shower?” he asked.
“No. I can shower myself, Lucian.” I leaned on the cane and walked alongside the patio toward the cabin.
Early in the day, after my workout, after my stretching, I usually felt okay physically. It was easier to move around, and nothing hurt. He knew this. So let me enjoy my moment. I didn’t want him to remind me I was weaker than everyone else.
“I apologize.” He gathered my towel and water bottle, putting them in my chair, and caught up with me. “I know you can shower yourself. I’ll ease off.”
Fuck. I blew out a breath and faced him right there on the grass between the patio and our cabin. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m irritable as fuck because we’re changing too.” It’d been easier accepting his help when we’d stayed more clearly within the range of friendship. He’d been the one who’d had the lift installed in the cabin. He’d been the one who’d gone all in on researching the best wheelchairs for me. He’d bought the damn thing he was pushing right now. Some advanced outdoor terrain chair that handled all weather and didn’t come to a stop as soon as I hit a patch of gravel. He’d had our kitchen island removed so I had easier access.
He knitted his brow and stood taller, as if preparing to defend himself. “What do you mean by changing?”
Didn’t he fucking see?
“You don’t feel it? The boys are changing everything for us too—for me anyway.” I felt on edge suddenly. Maybe I’d misinterpreted his care. “They’re—you know. Tying us together.” It was effortless to say I’d fallen head over heels with our dynamic, and I said it frequently. It was another matter to admit that I was falling in love with three men simultaneously. With Noa, it’d been there for years, festering in the back of my mind, then rushing to the surface when he came back into my life. But the other two…? That was throwing me off.
“You need to spell it out for me.” Fuck him. He was screwing with my head. The glint in his eyes said it all.
“You asshole.”
He laughed and closed the distance between us. “Of-fucking-course I feel it too, KC. What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing. It’s just—” It was frustrating as fuck. Frustrating because he looked so damn good wearing that assertive smirk, frustrating because I knew I was being ridiculous—at the same time as I wasn’t. Everybody wanted to feel like an asset. Like they contributed. “What am I gonna do if you start being all romantic with me? I can’t do jack-shit to return the affection.”