Cowboy Up (Lucas Brothers)

I feel her body squeezing around my cock—so tight that I can barely breathe it feels so good. Her muscles clamp down against my cock, milking it. I move my mouth to her breast and suck her hard nipple into my mouth. I watch her as I bite down on the tender morsel. Her body jerks from the pain and she looks straight at me as her body shatters. Her mouth opens as she breathes out my name. Then, she comes, taking me over the edge with her.

I growl as my orgasm takes over and I unleash jets of cum deep inside her body. I take her mouth hungrily as I empty inside her body.

“I love you, Doe,” I whisper when I let go of her mouth, her forehead pressed against mine. I stroke her cheek with my thumb as I struggle to deal with all of the emotions I’m feeling.

“I want to believe that, Blue,” she murmurs giving me a smile that’s almost bittersweet. “What if I’m broken?”

I kiss her lips, wishing I could help with whatever is bothering her. “We’ll heal you together.” I smile at her, hoping she knows that I’m not going to leave her alone.

Chapter 37

Meadow

I come awake slowly. I’m immediately aware of the pains and twinges of a great night. I shove my hair from my face and know it will take ten minutes to tame it.

Sex hair.

Really good sex hair.

Last night with Blue was beautiful. It was everything a woman could hope for. He made me orgasm four times to his two. I mean, who gets that? Me. That’s who. Still, I can’t lie. There was something different and it scares me. He’s treating me gently, but I can’t help but feel that he’s keeping a side of him on a leash. Blue’s always been demanding in bed, and he was last night. Still, I know him well enough to know he held back part of that side of him last night. I felt it. I’ve been feeling it for a while in our every day life. It was even more evident as we were making love.

I wasn’t lying when I told him I was afraid I was broken. Clark broke things inside of me that were already fragile. I’m not sure I can get be the Meadow I used to be. My brain won’t shut down.

I want this to work so much, but if I’m this guarded and Blue holding a part of himself separate from me, can it work? Hell, maybe everything is in my head because I’m scared. No, scared doesn’t cover it.

I’m terrified.

After the way Blue and I broke up in our past and the hell I lived through with Clark, I have scars. How can this time with Blue end differently? That’s probably the main reason I haven’t told him I love him, even though he admitted it to me. I feel a little guilty. Every time I went to tell him last night, however, the words would freeze in my throat. I couldn’t get them out. I hate that I’m being weak, but I am. I can at least admit that. I can’t let down all my walls when it comes to Blue. I just can’t.

I think those walls are staying in place because it does feel different with him now. I’m not sure I can trust it. I’m afraid to trust him.

Still, I could feel Blue’s love last night when we were together. Which means, I really need to let go of the past and quit questioning everything. Blue cares about me. He’s here with me. He’s by my side, handling Adam very carefully. If last night is a sample of what a future with Blue would be, I want it. I’ve always wanted Blue.

I know I always will.

I push everything out of my head. It’s time I forget about the past and the way Blue was with me. It’s time I concentrate on my future. I find a pair of pajamas and force myself to get dressed, smiling at the soreness my body feels. I thrust my hair up in a very messy bun on top of my head. Then, because maybe Blue wants a good morning kiss, I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth.

By the time all that is done, I’m feeling much more confident. I open the door, letting out a loud squeak when I almost step on two dogs lying on the floor in front of me. Miffy and Seymour. They mostly hid out the last time we were at Blue’s. Now, Miffy is lying on her back, all four legs apart while Seymour is nudging her with his nose. It almost looks like he’s giving her a massage.

“Oh, Lord. You got it made, Miffy.”

She’s makes a quiet—very satisfied—yipping noise and bats her paw in Seymour’s direction when he stops.