Party Toy for 2 Men (Forbidden Fun)
Patty’s definitely surprised as we stroll to the dining room.
“Seriously? Or are you just saying that?” she asks while placing Luna into her high chair. The toddler immediately starts banging her tray with a spoon, but we manage to keep talking over the clamor.
“Yeah, I think I’m pretty serious. Ever since I found out about you three, I’ve been thinking about it. I mean, at first I didn’t think you guys would work out,” I say, glancing at Chase and Chris. “No offense or anything. That’s just what I thought.”
“No offense taken,” Chris grins. “I think everyone’s surprised that it’s worked out for us.”
We sit then, and begin to dig into the meal. The pot roast is delicious, and I help myself to some green bean casserole too.
But then, my sister in law cocks her head at me.
“What if I helped you out? I mean, you were speaking of a matchmaker earlier, and I have a friend I think you’d really like. I’ll set the two of you up. It won’t be a threesome obviously, but it’s a place to start.”
I cringe. “I don’t know about that. I mean, do people even do that anymore? Plus, aren’t blind dates pretty much a recipe for disaster?”
Patty giggles, her brown curls bouncing. “Not always. Come on, it’ll be fun,” she chides. “You’ll like my friend Corrie because she’s awesome and really pretty too.”
I shake my head.
“I’ve had it up to hear with pretty women. But have we ever met?” I ask, trying to think of ways to dodge this set-up. My sister in law shakes her head.
“No, I don’t think so. I mean, Corrie’s been around some, but I can’t think of any instances when you guys were in the same room. At least, not with me there.”
I sigh.
“I don’t know. This whole thing seems destined for failure, to be honest. I’m a grown man who shouldn’t have to be set up by his sister in law.”
Chase nods.
“Give it a break, Pats. You can tell Cameron’s too whiny for this.”
I glare at him.
“Shut the fuck up.”
My brother isn’t fazed.
“Then what’s wrong with Patty’s friend?” Chase asks. “It can’t be worse than that crabs chick I overheard you guys talking about earlier. Besides, I think it might be fun for you to date my wife’s friend. Think of all the double dates we could go on together! Or I guess it’d be a quint date? Who knows?” he jokes. I merely roll my eyes.
“That sounds like a fucking nightmare.”
Chris laughs.
“Come on, man, you have nothing to lose. You’ve already hit a low point, so from here on out, it’s all up.”
The three of them clamor like children, and finally I give in.
“Alright, you can set me up with her, but don’t blame me if she ends up hating my guts.”
Patty bounces in her seat, clapping and squealing. “You won’t regret this, Cameron. You guys will have sooo much fun together.”
With that, we settle into dinner and my heart swells with the good company and good food. I’m lucky to have such a loving family, even if we are somewhat untraditional. But are they serious about this blind date? After the meal’s done, I collect my coat to leave, and Patty gives me a hug.
“I’ll forward Corrie’s info to you,” she says with a big smile. “You two will have fun together.”
I nod and smile, but inside, my heart’s sinking. I’m sure Corrie is nice and all, but right now, I just need a break from dating. The problem is: how do I get out of this conundrum now that everyone’s invested? With a sigh, I walk to my car and jerk open the door before sinking inside. My life is such a shitshow, and this only promises to be the next phase of a raging dumpster fire gone awry.
3
Corrie
* * *
I’m lying on my bed with my phone in front of my face. This is a dangerous position, considering how often I’ve nearly broken my nose doing just this, but it’s worth it because I can relax on my bed and talk to my best friend at the same time.
“You look great, Patty,” I say sincerely. “Motherhood suits you.”
She laughs. “You’re lying, but I’ll take it.”
I giggle myself.
“No, I’m serious, you do. You look far less tired than you did for the first six months after Luna was born.”
My friend sighs.
“Yeah, she sleeps through the night most nights now, thank goodness. It’s been a godsend actually because although Chris and Chase are great with her, I’m the one who nurses, so I usually have to be the one to get up when she’s hungry.”
I scrunch my nose in confusion.
“But I thought you moved her to solids already.”
My friend sighs, shifting the child at her breast.
“Yes, but Luna still nurses quite a bit. I think it’s a comfort thing more than anything. But yes, we’re slowly shifting her diet to be more food and less milk.”