Say You Swear

Said she’d go?

A knot forms in my throat.

In my gut.

In my fucking chest.

Ari nods, a sudden anxiousness drawing her shoulders in. “Um…” Confusion swims in her eyes and so I clear my throat, trying to offer a smile for her benefit, but I’m not sure I manage.

And then I spin around, heading back toward the house, but I don’t go inside.

I storm around the back, my ears ringing when voices reach me from the patio.

My vision pulses, blurs in and out of focus, but I only need one clear view.

One clear fucking shot.

And I take it.

I pull back, my fist connecting with Chase’s jaw.

He falls from his chair, tumbling to the ground, and when he jumps to his feet, his head snapping toward me, I grip him by the shirt, driving him backward until his spine hits the railing.

I trap his arms behind his back and lift his legs a bit, so he’s half hanging over the deck’s edge. I press my forearm against his chest, forcing it to hold all of my upper body weight.

He groans, trying to break free, but I press harder.

He cries out in pain this time, and Brady appears at my side, a door slamming behind us and then Mason appears.

“Noah, let him go.”

I press into Chase’s gut with my elbow and dig the heel of my palm into his shoulder blade. I could pop it out with just a little more force.

“You’re gonna break his arm.” Brady’s hand closes over my wrist.

My stomach turns. “Maybe he deserves it.”

My body shakes, my teeth clenching, and I push off of him, but I don’t step back.

Chase is forced to stand before me, right in fucking front of me.

Blood drips from his lip and he dabs at it with his thumb.

My shoulders fall and I shake my head.

A twisted type of torment burns within me; it’s a mix of anger and guilt, making it hard to breathe, because here I am angry at the guy in front of me when I’m the one who placed him there.

I did this. I tried to do the right thing, laid on the damn sword because that’s what she asked for, that’s what she needed, and being any and everything she needs is all I’ve ever wanted. It’s all I’ll ever want.

So I followed her lead, stepped back, and this motherfucker…

He slid right in.

But I don’t get it.

I shake my head. “Why you doing this?”

Chase has the audacity to wince, and he looks away.

“Really? You’re man enough to make the move, but you’re not man enough to say it out loud?”

His head jerks forward at that and he throws his hands out. “What do you want me to say, Noah?”

“I want you to tell me why I shouldn’t knock you the fuck out. Why I shouldn’t go to her right now and remind her of exactly what her life became after you, because it was better. She was happier. She was—”

Loved. In love.

She was mine.

“I just want to be here for her, Noah, and I want her to know that I… that I am here if she decides she—” He cuts himself off.

“How you going to be half the man she needs, if you can’t even admit what you want out loud?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have to say anything to you.”

“No, just keep pretending to be the guy she begged you to be months ago and see how that works out for you.”

“Do you think I don’t know that I fucked up?” he shouts. “Because I do, all right. I do, but I can’t walk away now. For months, I’ve watched for some sort of sign that what we did was right, that we are what’s right, and I can’t ignore the fact that this is it. This is the most straightforward sign if I’ve ever seen one.”

A humorless laugh leaves me, and I try to swallow beyond the knot in my chest. “A sign.” I nod. “You’ve been sitting around for months, years even, waiting for someone or something to come along and convince you she’s worth it?”

Again, he looks away, but I push closer, getting into his face, and finally, he brings his eyes back to mine.

“I’ve known that girl was worth the world since the moment I met her.” I blink hard, willing myself not to lose it while staring into the eyes of the asshole trying to steal my world from under me.

Mason’s hand falls onto my shoulder, but I jerk myself free, spin and begin to walk away, but I only make it a single footstep.

“She loved me once, Noah… she could again. Maybe you should start considering that.”

Ice spreads through my stomach.

I whip around so fast I feel sick, dizzy, but my knuckles crack across his nose, and the pain it creates is welcomed.

“Fuck!” Chase touches his face, blood pouring down it.