Price of a Kiss (Forbidden Men 1)

“Oh. Um…Tuesday night. Why?”

Mason’s eyes narrowed. “I thought you had study group on Tuesday nights.”

I was startled he actually remembered my schedule. “I do. I mean, I did. He’s in my study group.” When Mason flinched at that as if it physically hurt him to learn I had something in common with Ethan that I didn’t with him, I rushed on, hoping my explanation somehow soothed him. “When the library closed, we weren’t finished with our assignment, so he came back to my apartment and we worked on it—”

“He did what?” Mason boomed, looking like he wanted to jump off his bench and chase Ethan down to remove a couple of the guy’s teeth…with his knuckles.

“Hey, what is wrong with you?” I demanded.

“Oh, I don’t know,”

he sneered. “Maybe it’s this irresistible urge I have to break Ethan Riker’s face.”

My mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he damn near bellowed again.

“Mason,” I hissed, glancing around to see if anyone was staring at us. “What the hell? It’s not like I have to babysit Sarah that night.”

“This isn’t about Sarah. And you know it.”

Of course I knew it. But I thought we were still in denial, only flirting around the issue and holding tight to the whole just-friends lie. I had no idea he suddenly wanted to come out.

I swallowed and tried to rein in my racing nerves, having a bad feeling the rest of this conversation was going to leave me shredded inside.

“You said we were just friends.” My voice went hoarse as I studied his taut features. “I thought—”

“We are.” He glanced away and closed his eyes. “Damn it. We are, but the only reason we’re just friends is because there’s no way we could possibly ever be anything more.”

“You want…” My lungs spasmed. It freaked me out, and I understood how Sarah must feel all the time with no control over her muscles, even her breathing muscles. I couldn’t catch my breath, and it scared me.

“Do you really…want more?” I whispered in a trembling voice.

The emotions leaking into his face gave him that haggard, regretful look I’d seen the first night I’d caught him in a bath towel. “Don’t you?” he whispered back. Then he gave a harsh laugh and glanced away. “Or is this only sexual attraction for you?”

My chest ached. I still couldn’t catch a good lungful. “You know it’s not.”

“Then why the hell are you so confused about why I’m flying off the handle?”

“I don’t know.” I winced. “Because it’s easier to play dumb?” And because he’d made it abundantly clear he’d chosen his job over me. I had every right to date whomever I wanted...whether I technically felt that way or not.

“Well, you’re not dumb. Don’t play dumb.” When he shoved his calculus book into his bag and began to gather his things, I panicked.

“Mason? What’re you doing? Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving. What does it look like I’m doing?”

And just as quickly as the panic came, it dissolved into pissed off outrage. Slamming my hand over his half-finished calculus paper that had fluttered across the table, I jerked it out of his grasp as soon as he reached for it. When he glared at me, I scowled. “So if you can’t have me, then I’m not allowed to date anyone? Is that what you’re saying? My God, Mason. Do you realize how much of a douche bag you sound like right now?”

“Yes, damn it!”

The admission came so freely from his lips, I blinked, startled to actually hear him confirm it.

Chest heaving, he sent me that tortured, haggard look of his again. “I realize exactly what I sound like. And I’m trying to stop, Reese.” His voice broke. “I’m trying here. Jesus, why do you think I’m taking off right now? If I stay, I’m only going to say something worse.”

I think his agony got to me more than my own. Tears filled my eyes. When I blinked them away, he choked out a sound of misery.

“Christ, don’t cry.”