Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart 3)

“Like looking in a goddamned mirror.” My voice was a rasp, that kid’s face etched in my mind like it’d been written there all along.

Fuck.

I took another swig of my whiskey and forced the acid down. It burned just as bad as when I forced out the words, “Has a disability, too. Cerebral palsy, maybe. Something like that. His legs are all . . . fucked up.”

Was I able to say that and not be considered a dick? Because they were. And I wasn’t putting the kid down. Problem was, it was taking every ounce of restraint I had to remain sitting the hell down and not to go rushing back over there, sweeping in to pick him up.

Hold him.

Protect him.

Right there to make sure no one ever messed with him.

His smile hit me, filling up my mind, the kid so . . . happy.

A fireball that had come from out of nowhere, crashing into my atmosphere, but not quite making it into my world.

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

Pain splintered through my chest, and a shudder of revulsion slipped beneath my flesh. I curled my hand around the glass, so hard I was lucky I didn’t crush it. But maybe that’s what I was hoping for.

A distraction from the unbearable pain scrambling all the rationale I kept inside. Anything would feel better than this.

“Fuck, Mack, I’m sorry,” Jace said, and there was just something about his voice that had me looking up to study his face, this feeling taking me over.

It only sent a fresh round of anger surging through my veins.

This was Jace. Not my blood, but my brother. The guy who I’d trust with my life. Hell, with the shit the two of us had gotten into a few years back, it wasn’t even a theoretical notion. It’d been our reality.

And there it was—guilt gripping his expression.

My head cocked to the side in disbelief. “You knew?” My voice was ragged and sharp, my existence no longer making sense.

My attention flew to Ian, and he was already putting up his hands in surrender, head shaking fiercely. “Don’t even say it, Mack. You think I wouldn’t tell you something like this?”

“Yeah, well your big brother didn’t seem to find it fit to do me the same favor.”

Jace sighed out his regret.

There was a ton of it, but that didn’t make it better.

“Listen, Mack, I just found out. Barely a week ago. Faith told me after Izzy came back to Broadshire Rim.”

Disappointment and betrayal pulsed and throbbed, and I sat back in the booth, blowing out a resentful breath. “Faith knew.”

Of course, she knew.

She’d been Izzy’s best friend.

He nodded. “Yeah. Pretty sure carrying that secret has been eating her alive. But she felt she owed it to Izzy.”

A roll of bitter laughter filtered out, and I rocked my head back on the high booth, body filled up with nothing but disbelief. “Perfect.”

“This isn’t Faith’s fault—”

“You’re right, it’s not. It’s mine,” I bit out, cutting him off because I didn’t need any fucking explanations.

“I never wanted to keep it from you. I told her I wouldn’t keep it for long, but I promised I would give Izzy the chance to tell you.”

“Doesn’t change anything, does it?”

“Uh, yeah, pretty sure it changes a lot. You’re a dad, asshole. And you’re over here getting hammered when you should be getting to know your kid.” Jace’s brow was all pinched up, guy looking at me like he didn’t recognize me.

I scoffed out a sound. “Izzy was right in not tellin’ me. I don’t deserve to be a dad, and I sure as hell don’t want that kind of responsibility.”

The words slashed.

Disgust after disgust.

All of it coming fast.

All of it directed at me.

I was to blame.

I’d always been to blame.

Ian angled over the table. “So, what, you’re just going to pretend like you don’t have a kid? Go on with your life like nothing has changed? Keep dipping your dick in girls like Clarissa because it makes your life easy? Tell me you’re joking because you are not acting like the guy I know.”

Easy.

Hilarious.

Jace reared back. “Tell me you aren’t still hooking up with her?”

“None of your concern who I’m hitting,” I returned.

I started to push from the booth. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go take a piss and get the hell out of here. You two have families to be with. You don’t need to babysit me.”

I started to walk away, and Ian grabbed me by the forearm. “Come on, man. Don’t act like this. Let’s talk this out. This is a big fucking deal, and I know you have to be shocked. Confused. Angry, and on some level, I’m sure you deserve to be. But you can’t just walk away like this.”

I ripped my arm out of his hold. “Watch me.”

I was being a prick, but I couldn’t sit there for a second longer and endure their judgment. Could feel it radiating from them, coming at me, wave after wave.