With Every Heartbeat (Forbidden Men 4)

“Oh my good Lord.” Zoey ran her hands through hair and turned away before coming back to me. “I thought she was going to tell you—” She cut herself off abruptly and looked up into my eyes. “She wasn’t like this when I knew her a year ago. She wasn’t even like this through all our emails. She was—”

“Oh, trust me. I believe you. She wasn’t like this when I started dating her, either. The girl’s a freaking soc

iopath. As long as you give her what she wants, she’s going to be all nice and caring. But the minute you cross her...” I shook my head and laughed softly. “She didn’t bring you here because she likes you, Zoey. I don’t think she’s capable of liking anyone.” I moved in even closer to her. “She brought you here for a reason, because she wants something from you.”

Zoey’s eyes were big and lost as she whispered, “I know.”

I took her hands, worried for her. “Don’t give it to her. Don’t give in and let her have her way.”

She opened her mouth as if she was going to disagree with me. But then she closed her eyes and shook her head. “It’s not that simple.”

I don’t know what had her so conflicted but I hated seeing her this way. I let go of one of her hands to skim the backs of my fingers down her cheek. I wanted to keep arguing with her, begging her to get away from Cora while she still could, but there were other bigger things to discuss. “You never answered my question.”

She leaned her cheek into my fingers and her lashes fluttered before she pulled away. “What question?”

“Are you okay?”

Her chin trembled, and I swear she was a microsecond from crying, but then she pulled her shoulders up tight and blurted out a small laugh. “I don’t...” Her gaze strayed away from me. “I’m about like you, I guess. Sorta freaking out about everything.”

“Feeling guilty?” I asked.

She closed her eyes and nodded.

“Sore?”

Cheeks flushing, she glanced up at me. I couldn’t help it, I smiled.

She groaned. “Quinn.” Then she buried her face in her hands.

The need to pull her close and kiss her hair and hug her against me rose so strong in me, I actually fisted my hands to keep from reaching for her. “I don’t know what to do here, Zoey,” I finally admitted, ducking my face to talk closer into her ear. “I know the timing was all wrong. Two hours after breaking up with one girl is not—”

When she made a sound of desperation, I shut up about that part.

“But never...pretending it didn’t happen and going our separate ways now that it did happen seems wrong too. You are not a one-time kind of girl and I most definitely don’t want to be the guy to make you one. You don’t deserve that, and I...I...”

Her eyes were red when she uncovered her hands from her face. “What’re you saying?”

“I’m saying this is your decision. Do you want me to leave you alone? Or do you want to...I don’t know...” I glanced away, feeling like an idiot. “See where this is going?” I turned back to her. “It’s completely up to you. I’ll respect whatever you want to do?”

Her lips parted and her lashes fluttered as she blinked. I held my breath, not sure which decision I was hoping for until she said, “I think...I think we should never do...what we did...again. Cora’s my roommate and...and getting mixed up between you two isn’t—”

Disappointment crashed through me, but I nodded emphatically as if I totally understood and agreed. “It’s okay,” I told her. “I understand. And the last thing I’d ever want to do is get you tangled up between us. It makes sense to just...not go there.” But sense or not, I still wanted to go there...a lot.

Zoey nodded but looked about as crushed as I felt.

I turned my attention to the bookshelf and tried to keep it together. “If you ever need anything, though, just call, okay? I’m still your friend. Nothing can change that.”

Her head bobbed again. “Okay,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” I said back to her and leaned in to kiss her temple, inhaling that last little bit of her shampoo scent that I could breathe in. “Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone the most. And I’m sorry for...” I shook my head, not sure what I was sorry for. But I felt like hell for the way all this was affecting her. “I’m sorry for...”

She spun away and ran off.

I cursed under my breath and then leaned toward the nearest bookshelf and tapped my head against it a few times, hoping to knock some sense back into myself. I hoped to God I’d just made the right decision by letting her go, but I felt so bad, I couldn’t see how it had been the right thing to do at all.

In the space of a just a few days, my life went from the lowest point ever, to the highest, and right back to the lowest...and then it just kept rolling on as if nothing had ever happened. I had to skip more classes on Tuesday to get more tests done on my kidneys. When Wednesday came, I approached art class with dread.

I know I’d told Quinn it would be better if we put some space between us, but I missed him, and I regretted every word I’d said to keep him away. He’d insisted we were still friends, but I knew we weren’t. We’d never be as close as we’d been before Friday night.