Canon (Klein Brothers 2)

Anyway, the little fucker had fallen asleep one night, and in the morning, the mewling, pathetic ball of fluff had developed a taste for blood in his sleep. He’d woken me up by attacking my head, digging the claws of his hind legs into my hair while trying to rip out patches with his teeth. When I’d yelped and jumped out of bed, thinking a spikey troll was attacking me, he’d made a squealing noise and had hidden under the covers, making me feel like an asshole.

Here's where I got my ass handed to me: I’d picked him up, apologizing profusely for scaring him, and out came a feline ninja. I shit you not, a ball of fur, with legs extended like something out of a Jackie Chan movie, had ejected itself out of my arms and had then wrapped itself around my neck.

I’d like to say the catnip, the plug-ins that promised to calm down cats, the toys, the treats, the gadgets that claimed they’d entertain him, and he’d settle down because it was just boredom, had all worked, but they’d literally done jack shit.

I’d bought everything I could get my hands on, everything I could find in the store and online, and laid it out like he was a king. And what did I get? More attacks, and some of them were low blows that made me feel like I needed to ask for forgiveness in church.

That last one was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had scratches in a place no scratches should be, especially not from an animal.

Fed up with it, and now feeling like I’d done something illegal, I spent two hours loading up the back of my truck and called Reid to help me. Like the little asshole that the newly renamed Damian was, he purred and looked up at my brother innocently, wrapping him around his psycho claws.

From the second we got in the truck, that cat purred and rubbed against him like a normal kitten would.

“There’s no way he just attacked you, man,” Reid said for the tenth time. “Look at him. All he wants is love and cuddles.”

Holding my arm out to show him the deep cuts on it, I ground out, “Does that look like love and cuddles? Do you know where else he got me? My fucking dick and balls look like I’m a masochist who attacked them.”

“You were probably winding him up. You used to do that to us when we were little, too. I wanted to scratch your heart out back then, so I’m talking from experience here.”

An idea hit me. “Put the little shit on the top of your head. I dare you.”

Snorting, Reid picked Damian up and carefully balanced him on his head. “See? He’s doing that really cute kneading thing cats d— Oh, you little fucking prick. What the hell?”

I’d just survived two weeks of this shit, and I had no intentions of dying on my way to get rid of him, so I kept my eyes on the road. But out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Reid shook his head, trying to get rid of the claws and teeth piercing his skin.

“I think he goes for the brain, you know. Whatever you do, don’t drop your head forward. He hates that.”

Unfortunately for Reid, he wasn’t listening to me. Then again, with the claws and teeth trying to make their way through his skull, I could understand why he did what he did next.

In a modified head-banging motion, he dropped his head forward and then shook it.

With his front claws embedded in the top of Reid’s head, Damian flipped forward, not losing his purchase once. Like he was a face-hugger out of Aliens, he twisted so that his hind legs were either side of Reid’s face, before digging the claws in them into whatever skin they could find.

I ended up having to pull off to the side of the road to avoid crashing as he started screaming about getting tea bagged by a kitten. Just the thought of it made me physically shudder, which got the attention of the satanic psycho, meaning he let go and launched himself at me.

Yeah, something was wrong with this cat. I didn’t know what it was or how it happened, but I did know that I was getting rid of him.

And I had one specific recipient in mind.

Jacinda frowned as she took in the blood coming out of the multitude of puncture wounds on our faces and necks.

“Hey. I didn’t know y’all were coming over?” Her eyes trailed down to our arms and widened. “Holy shit, what happened? Were you in an accident?”

Reid pushed the hoodie that had Damian in it into her arms. “Take it.”

Pulling back one of the edges, she smiled when she saw the little face looking back at her. “Hey, little dude. What are you doing here?”