Thick as Thieves (Aster Valley 4)

She laughed and squeezed my arm. “If I didn’t already have a wildcat wife and two little girls at home, I might consider it. I’ll be right back.”

When the bartender slid the drink to me, I nodded my thanks and took a giant gulp. And then another.

By the time Sandy came back, I was on my second drink and feeling a smidge better. “Okay. How do we cancel this thing? Maybe we can donate the food to a local food kitchen or something?”

She pulled out her phone and started finger-typing. “First, we contact the band to cancel since they’re coming from the farthest away. My assistant is already printing out signs to put on the doors to the ceremony venue for the guests. Obviously, it’s too late to cancel the catering and the cake, but we can have the cake cut up and in boxes on a table at the ceremony venue for the guests to take away.”

“Sounds like you’re an expert on canceling weddings. I should have called you first thing,” I said with a humorless laugh.

“What the hell is going on?” Julian’s voice made me jump. I spun around and saw him standing there with Lorraine and Rod. Julian was a sight for sore eyes, but Erin’s parents looked both excited and suspicious. It wasn’t a good combination.

Maybe I’d had too much whiskey on a nervous stomach, or maybe it was just my need to make every tragedy a joke, but a laugh gurgled up before I could control it. “Can’t you see? I’m canceling the wedding. Apparently it’s way easier to jilt someone than I thought. Who knew?”

“You’re what?” he asked, as if he’d truly not heard the words.

“I said I’m canceling the wedding. You should try it sometime. So exciting. Such an ‘adventure.’ Think Erin would appreciate that?”

In hindsight, I wondered if I shouldn’t have used the finger quotes. Something about what I’d said enraged my best friend. His face was full of fury, and in my whiskey-tipped haze, I actually thought he was angry on my behalf.

Until he punched me in the fucking face, and all hell broke loose.

Lorraine screamed, Rod raced over to “break it up,” Sandy sighed and asked the bartender for ice, and that’s when the entire bridal party came looking for the photographer.

Julian wasn’t content with the one hit either. He followed it up with a shove to my shoulders while shouting something about me being an unfeeling asshole for succumbing to pre-wedding jitters and screwing over our friend. After the drinks I’d had and taking the shot to my face, I was fairly easy to shove. I took out two barstools on the way to the floor.

Julian landed on top of me and grabbed the lapels of my tux. His face was red, and his eyes were angry slits. “How fucking dare you, you chickenshit piece of shit.”

“You said shit twice,” I said, trying desperately to keep myself from bursting into tears and asking him to hold me. For some reason, I didn’t think that would go over well.

When he pulled back his arm to punch me again, I reached out and grabbed his wrist. “Stop,” I said. “You don’t know what happened.”

His eyes shifted between each of mine. “Fine. What happened? Because it looks to me like you jilted your best friend.”

I let out a kind of laugh. “She’s not my best friend. You’re—”

This time, he kneed me in the junk.

And I really did start crying.

4

JULIAN

From the moment that I’d heard Parker and Erin were getting married, I’d fantasized about them calling it off.

But now that it had happened, I hated him for it.

What had started off as simple cold feet had turned into my… my Parker… walking away from his commitments. Now the rest of us were going to have to go through the whole process of watching them break up, only for them to decide next month or next week or next year that actually, no, they did want to get married after all, and then we—by which I meant I—would have to somehow find the mental fortitude to endure yet another bachelor party and write another best man toast, wishing the love of my life a lifetime of passion with someone who wasn’t me.

If I’d stopped and thought about it, maybe I would have realized the truth sooner—that Parker had never walked away from a single commitment in his life. That he’d rather walk over hot coals than hurt anyone important to him, especially Erin.

But I didn’t stop and think. I just took all my bitterness and rage and hopeless jealousy and threw it into making him hurt.

Even after I racked him, he had enough self-control to roll me over and pin my wrists to the floor, pressing my thighs down with one of his strong legs. I closed my eyes and reminded myself we were in a fight.