Sex, Not Love
“I was only going to apologize and tell you again why I did it.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’re sorry, and I understand why you got upset.”
“Okay…”
“What I meant was…I don’t want to know if you’re positive for Huntington’s disease.” She sat down next to me.
I was stunned. “Natalia…I…”
“Let me explain.”
Since I honestly had no goddamned clue how to respond—nor was I sure how I’d feel about not knowing after making the monumental decision to find out—I was glad she wanted to be the one to talk first.
“I thought about it a lot today. For the last ten years, you chose to not get tested. You only made this decision because of me. And you plan to walk away if you find out because you think that will spare me. Well…I’m not willing to risk that. I’d planned on telling you that tonight. But then when you got freaked out because you forgot to put a condom on, it made me realize that if we never found out, we’d never be able to have kids.” She paused. “Now…I realize I’m jumping the gun here. Who knows, our relationship might not work out for a million normal reasons, so it could all be a moot point. But I needed to give some thought to how I would feel about not having kids because your genetic status would be unknown. And I decided I don’t care about giving birth. I have Izzy, and she’s no less of a daughter to me than if I’d delivered her myself—and we’ve only known each other for five years. If we decided we wanted a child of our own someday—a long time down the road—I’d be fine with adopting.”
Hearing her say how much she’d be willing to sacrifice for me made my heart ache and swell at the same time. “Natalia, I don’t know what to say. The fact that you would be willing to offer such a huge thing, sacrifice something so important is…” I shook my head. “It means the world to me.”
She looked me straight in the eyes. “I want you, Hunter. The rest we can figure out. I don’t ever want you to be inside of me and feel like it’s wrong again. If things between us go the way it feels like they will…one of us can get fixed so we don’t have to ever worry about condoms or getting pregnant.”
She’d just given me the biggest gift anyone could ever receive. She offered so much and wanted nothing in return except me. I wasn’t sure if I deserved it or not, but I was selfish enough to take it.
I’d known how I felt about her for a while now; I just didn’t have the balls to put it out there. But it was time. It was long past due.
I walked to her and dropped to my knees at her feet where she sat on the edge of the bed. “I love you, Natalia. I’m so fucking in love with you that my chest feels like it could explode with everything in my heart.”
“I love you, too, Hunter.”
I kissed her lips softly.
“So we’re good?” she said. “You agree we shouldn’t find out?”
“Give me some time to think about it. Okay?”
“Of course. It’s a big decision, and we have a few days, right?”
I nodded. “The test results probably won’t be back until Friday morning.”
“Okay. So we’ll sleep on it and talk about it again tomorrow with a fresh outlook.”
That sounded like a great plan. Then again, you know what they say about the best-laid plans…
Chapter 41
Natalia
I was confused when I woke up to the sound of a phone ringing. The blinds were drawn, and I wasn’t sure what time it was or where I was at first. But the hard chest acting as my pillow reminded me. Hunter was out cold—he didn’t even flinch at the sound of the phone, so I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his cell. The phone stopped ringing just as I picked it up, but the missed call read Uncle Joe. I checked the time before setting it back down. 9 a.m. Damn, we’d both slept late.
I gently nudged my sleeping giant. “Hunter.”
“Mmm?” His eyes pinched shut tighter.
“Your phone rang. And it’s late. Almost nine.”
He opened one eye. “Sit on my face.”
I laughed and smacked at his shoulder. “That’s your response when I wake you up and tell you that you missed a phone call?”
“What? I like to eat right away when I wake up.”