Like Dragonflies

My head is spinning. I’m still trying to find any way possible for what Mom said to be a lie. I want to ignore my gut feeling. Those things aren’t always right. They can’t be.

This can’t be.

I hear Mars speed away from my house and I shatter in a million pieces.

Tears roll freely down my cheeks while a sob catches in my throat. I rub my chest as if I can physically soothe away the pain in my heart. I know better though.

There’s no way to fix the fact the boy I love, the one who makes me feel normal and safe, is also my brother.

My brain is spent. I can’t handle another thought so I cry myself to sleep. Closing my eyes feels much better than dealing with the agony that’s waiting for me when I open them.

I awake with a start when light slices through the darkness. When I open my eyes, it’s pitch-dark outside, but Mom has just turned on the light in my room. I squint when I look at her.

For just a brief moment, I pray everything was a nightmare. I pray none of it was real. Mom closes and locks my bedroom door behind her and sits at the foot of my bed. She regards me with a pained look and I know in this instant it is real.

My heart hurts again.

Before Mom opens her mouth, I check my phone to see if Mars has reached out to me. I have zero notifications. I blink back the sad tears burning my eyes and draw my knees to my chest.

“We need to finish talking, Sage.”

I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t even want to look at you.

“Okay,” I mutter instead.

“I know you’ve had time to think, and hopefully, you realize what I said is true. Mars is your half brother. You two share the same father. You have to understand why I never told you.” Her eyes plead with me.

“No, Mom. I don’t understand. I don’t understand how you could keep something like this from me my entire life. So…Dad isn’t my father?” I have to hear her say it again.

“He will always be your father, Sage. You know how much he loves you.”

“You know what I mean. He’s not my biological father.” I hate saying those words out loud. There’s nobody else I could ever imagine being my father, especially not the drunk bully with the mean green stare.

Mom is quiet. She looks at her hands and shrugs her shoulders. “I did what I had to do to make sure you had the best life possible. I was only seventeen, Sage.”

“How do you know Mars’s dad is my dad? Maybe you were mistaken and maybe Dad is really…”

“Sage, Nathan took my virginity. I got pregnant right afterward. There’s no question.”

“Why didn’t he say anything when he saw me?” I ask bitterly.

“Saw you?” Her brows draw together to a single point on her forehead as she regards me. “You saw Nathan?”

“I was at Mars’s house and he barged in on us.”

“Tell me you two weren’t…Sage, you didn’t have sex with him, did you?”

“Even if I did, it’s none of your business,” I snap at her, holding my knees tighter. “If he knows I’m his daughter, why didn’t he say anything when he saw me?”

“Nathan doesn’t know,” Mom says quietly. “I never told him. My parents didn’t want me involved with him. Nathan already had a baby. Mars was still little at the time. He wasn’t but a couple of months old. They wanted me to move to Ashton Hills and find a nice boy.”

“Dad…” I utter under my breath. My heart aches for him now. “Does he know?” My eyes jerk to hers, tears begging to roll down my cheeks.

“Yes. He knows.” She sucks in a sharp breath and continues, “You can’t be seen with Mars anymore. You can’t talk to anyone else about him. If we keep quiet about this, then maybe it can just fade away and you can have a normal life.”

“I don’t want a normal life, Mom. I want Mars.” His name is the saddest song I’ve ever heard. I’m steeped in salty tears just at the mention of him.

“You can’t have him. He’s your brother. You two don’t have a future. It’s illegal, Sage. Do you know how that will look on your record? And you two can’t have children together. They’ll be…messed up. So what else is left?”

My heart is ash in my chest.

The only person I’ve ever loved is being pried from my grasp, and I can’t seem to stop it from happening.

“I did all of this for you. Your life would have been hell with a father like Nathan. He’s no good. I’m sure the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’m doing you a favor. Just lie low and cut contact with Mars. It’ll all blow over. I know it hurts now, but you’ll be fine.” Mom has the nerve to offer me a smile before standing.