The Accidental Girlfriend

“Your horniness goes down. My horniness stays in a damp patch in my panties.”

“I’m so glad we had sex before you said that.”

“Same. But, just so you know, there are more genius little quips where that came from.” She groaned as she rolled over and got up. “Where’s the bathroom? Do you have anything I can use as a… you know.”

I peered back at her over my shoulder. “I don’t know.”

“A wedge. For drippage purposes.”

Slowly, I turned around, meeting her eyes as I did so. “For what purposes?”

“Drippage. You’d put a cup under a leaking radiator, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes. Are you saying you need a cup for your vagina when we’re done having sex?”

She cocked a brow. “No. I don’t want to catch the excess to water my plants, Mason. A towel will do just fine.”

I had no response to that except for laughter. I’d literally pay anyone who could come up with something to say to that.

“Would you like a towel?” was what I finally settled on.

“I’d love a towel. Thanks.”

I grabbed one from the radiator and threw it across the room to her. “I’ll make a note to keep one within reach on your side of the bed.”

“My side of the bed? Ooh, you fancy.” She stood and stuffed the towel between her legs. She was stark naked otherwise, and it was quite the fucking sight. “You want a picture?”

“Of you with a towel between your legs? No. Of my cock between them? It’s a little too early for that, isn’t it?”

She waddled across the room, holding the towel in place with one hand and her tits with the other. “Holy shit, we’re gonna have to find a middle ground on the witty, snarky chat here. You’re exhausting.”

“Given that you just came so hard you need a towel between your legs, I’ll take ‘exhausting’ as a compliment.”

Lauren shot me a look as she continued her penguin-like walk into the bathroom. She shut the door behind her, leaving me standing where I was, shaking my head.

Then, out of nowhere, I laughed.

I’d just watched the woman I was falling for waddle into the bathroom with a towel between her legs, and here I was, laughing.

Yet it all made sense.

That was why I was laughing.

She was fucking funny. She was shameless. She didn’t care what anyone thought of her unless she cared about them, too—but right now, she really didn’t care.

She was so goddamn real it hurt.

Had I ever seen another woman shove a towel between their legs in case of ‘drippage?’

No.

Never in my life.

But Lauren—fuck me. I’d said it a thousand times, and I had a feeling I’d say it a thousand more: she was something else.

She was fucking special.

Special.

The bathroom door opened and Lauren stepped out, now wrapped in a different towel entirely.

She paused in front of me. “I put the other towel in your laundry basket. I’ll even do your laundry to make up for getting lady juice all over that one.”

I sighed. Heavily. “Are you going to be like this in twenty years?”

“No. In twenty years I’ll probably be a jaded mother of pre-teens who doesn’t have time for sex with you. Enjoy this while you can. I’ll be snarking about the lack of bread and milk one day.”

“And you’ll look just as sexy as you do right now.”

“Careful. I might kill you and feed you to the pigs before that happens.”

“The pigs? What pigs? Who is getting pigs?”

“We are.” She patted my cheek again. “Keep up, soldier. This is your life now.”

I tried not to smile, but fuck it, I couldn’t.

Yeah, this was early days, but if I knew one thing about Lauren Green, it was this:

She could be the one.

With her snark and her jokes and her shamelessness, she had everything I never knew I wanted in a woman.

And if I had to keep a towel down the side of my bed and fixings for a burger in my fridge to keep her happy, that’s what I would do.

Even if her contribution was the weekly babysitting of a tiny human being whose head was smaller than my hand and cat who liked to sit on my head while I held said baby.

It hadn’t happened yet, but I was preparing myself.

I’d take it.

I’d take her laughs and jokes and smiles until my cheeks hurt from doing all that myself. I’d take her craziness and her wildness and her sometimes reservedness, because I knew that beneath it all, Lauren was nothing but a mess of softness and emotion.

And it was that softness that had her wink at me before she delved into my drawers and pulled out one of my old, blue t-shirts. She pulled it over her head, and it absolutely drowned her. It was huge compared to her, falling to her knees and swamping her gorgeous frame.