A Death to Seek (Thornes & Roses 3)

I spin on my heel and stalk from her bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I stop for a short moment in the bathroom, and when she doesn’t race after me to stab me with something, I chuckle and make my way into my bedroom after grabbing my clothes.

“Already asserting dominance,” Jarred remarks from my bed. He’s lying against the headboard, his feet bare of shoes with his ankles crossed while his arms are folded behind his head. He looks good enough to fuck, but there’s no time.

“She needs to learn early on. I’m not taking that shit,” I inform him as I tug on my sweats without underwear, then I shrug on my shirt. I can feel the heat of Jarred’s stare on my body. He enjoys watching me, and I like when he looks at me. It’s something I’ve become accustomed to. Even while fucking, I’ve had him hidden in the shadows, jerking off while I stuck my dick in some girl. Keeping up pretenses, I’ve managed to leave a string of broken hearts across the country, especially in Thorne Haven.

But there’s one heart I could never break. I’d sooner die than hurt Jarred. But I have a feeling, someday soon, he’ll shatter mine. Or what’s left of it. He picked up the pieces when he came into my life and he managed to puzzle some together, but I told him, it would never work right. I would never be whole. Even if he wanted to keep me, there would always be fragile pieces of me to mend.

It was the truth then, and it’s the truth now. “Joy said I should come and get you both for dinner,” he tells me as he swings his legs over the edge of my bed. When he reaches me, he cups my face in his hands, and I do the same to him. “Don’t let shit get to you. I’m here,” he says. “Take it out on me.” The darkness that I’ve come to love in his eyes glint with a reminder of how healing he’s been for me. The need I’ve struggled with is easy with Jarred.

Lowering my head, I smile, keeping my eyes on him. “Let’s go” is all I can manage because feelings and emotions are difficult for me. Jarred has understood and accepted that. Since the beginning, I told him how much I struggle.

We make our way down to the kitchen and find the princess seated at the table. Joy is regaling her with some story that I’m hoping isn’t about me. “There they are.” Joy is on her feet, rushing to get our dinner. There have been so many times I’ve told her I’m capable of getting my own plate, but she still sees us as her kids.

I slip into the seat across from Zaria and Jarred takes the seat beside me. Her gaze flicks between us, taking each of us in. Her shrewd glare narrows as she watches me. The smile on my face doesn’t falter. I set a challenge, and I can’t wait to see her fail. Perhaps I’ll take her to the woods and get her to play a little game of chase. With that filthy mouth, I wonder how she’ll fare when there’s nothing between us but darkness.

Joy sets our plates in front of us and I quickly dig into my meal. I’m starving. I haven’t eaten today, and I know Jarred hasn’t either. We were busy out in the greenhouse, which I promised Mallory I’d look after for her. Since Cass no longer lives on the property, Kalyn hasn’t been able to keep an eye on the plants. And with Nesrin in London, I’m the only one left. Maybe I can have the little princess get her hands dirty.

We eat in comfortable silence, well, Jarred and I do, but the tension radiating off of Zaria is palpable. Joy breaks the ice when she asks, “So tell us about your family?” The silver fork tumbles from Zaria’s fingers, and she glances away from us.

“Her father just died,” I say callously, not to hurt her, but more to get a reaction out of her. The tears that she shed earlier are an indication that she still hurts, and I know that pain. It never goes away.

Her gaze lands on me, the rage she’s attempting to shoot my way is clear. I deserve it. Never once have I claimed to be a good person. There are only a handful of people I’m loyal to, and she’s not earned my loyalty yet.

“I’m so sorry, dear,” Joy says, taking Zaria’s trembling hand before offering her a tissue. For a moment, I wonder if those are fake tears. I’ve watched girls online; I’ve seen what they do for the attention—filters and smiles—nothing is ever real.

Another reason I didn’t want to go through with this. I recall Eloise, remembering how transparent she was at times. But then, when it came down to it, she faked her smiles to throw everyone off the path of her destruction. Even me.