A Death to Seek (Thornes & Roses 3)

His words finally sink in as he speaks them slowly. “I grew up thinking you hated me,” I tell him honestly. “I was convinced that you thought of me as a mistake. I could never make you see me. All these years, you never once told me you loved me, you never said you were proud of me.” My throat clogs with the pain and agony of the truth finally hitting me right in my soul. It bypasses my heart, and it slams into me like a wrecking ball.

“That’s not at all the reason I did that.” Dad shakes his head slowly. The guilt of what I just confessed dances in his eyes. “I needed you to be hard-hearted, to be commanding and dominating. The society will eat you alive if they think you’re weak.”

“I’m not weak. I never was.”

Bradford shakes his head. “No, you weren’t. But you are a lot like your mother,” he says. “She had a good heart, and I made it ugly with my darkness.” I’m not sure what to say so I stay silent. I can’t find words to explain the emotions rushing through me. “You are a good person, Finn,” he tells me. “And that’s why you’re able to love two people.”

“So, what happens now? There are so many loose ends to tie up.” Even though my father has just changed my mindset on my mother completely, there are things we still need to sort out.

He nods. “I’ll talk to Marcia. I think we should get Damien and Nesrin out here, so she can decide what she would like to do. And as for the society—”

“I’ll do it as long as they accept my lifestyle,” I tell my father. “I’m no longer hiding who I am. I can’t live like that.”

“And what about the girl?”

“Zaria knows.” I sigh as I think about last night again. It was perfect. Jarred and I have had a girl together before, a few times in fact. But never like this. Something clicked. It was as if we were meant to all three fit together.

“And she’s happy with this arrangement?” My father arches a brow at me. It’s rather strange explaining this situation to him, but he needs to know where I stand.

I nod. “Yes. She is and she’s happy to go ahead with the wedding once we sort out the reasoning behind the marriage.” I recall the paperwork Ares gave Jarred. It’s still on my desk where I left it. “I have information from the Lancasters about Mrs. Abadi and why she wanted the union to take place. I want that agreement torn up, nullified and a new one drawn up. She has no legal claim on anything that came before the marriage.”

“I want all the paperwork.”

“No,” I tell my father as I push to my feet. “I want the original destroyed and I want proof of it. I will not take a vow until that happens. And if there’s a problem, she can come to me.”

“What if we cancel the wedding completely?” My father suggests. “You can then stay with Jarred, and—”

“No. You wanted us to break up because you knew sending him to Tynewood with me would send us into a tailspin. It worked for a short time, but he was willing to give up his freedom for me. I won’t allow that. I’m the Thorne, and I will do what is necessary to ensure the two people I care for are safe.”

For a long moment, all I can hear is the thundering of my heart. It rings in my ears as I wait for my father to deny me. He’s never given me anything I wanted, and I don’t expect this to be any different. The only change is that I am happy to walk out of this house and never look back. And from the look on his face, I can tell he sees it.

“Fine,” he murmurs. “A new contract. And you start your initiation to the society, while I make sure that Mrs. Abadi knows we’re no longer going through with her original request.”

“And you’ll talk to the Elders and ensure there are no qualms about Jarred. He was meant to be part of the Gilded Sovereign, but since walking out, there can’t be any friction.”

A smile dances on my father’s lips as he looks me over. “You’ve grown into a man, Finn,” he tells me. “I’m so fucking proud of what you’ve become.” I don’t expect anyone to understand what it’s like to have your father be proud of you. Some kids don’t even have a father figure to speak of, but when Bradford Thorne murmured those words, a strange, calming feeling washed over me. I spent my life rebelling against him. I hated everything he stood for. But now, I’m convinced that he made me this way so I could step into his shoes and those of my grandfather and the ancestors that came before us.