A Death to Seek (Thornes & Roses 3)

“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be alone.” The voice comes from behind me, but I don’t turn to face him. I can’t look into those silver eyes. Jarred has a way of digging into the darkness and finding solace there. They bore into me whenever he looks at me, but I can’t allow anyone else to delve into my broken pieces.

“Please leave me alone,” I beg with my back still turned to him. There’s heat behind me, a sudden rush of warmth in the nippy air. When I feel a second body step up to me, I realize that Finn is here too because his cologne envelops me in a blanket of safety.

“I hope you weren’t thinking of throwing yourself from the roof,” Finn remarks nonchalantly, as if he were talking about the weather. He has this way about him, a cool demeanor that could come across as uncaring, but he speaks with his eyes. Those almost black orbs hold so much affection, so many emotions; they’re like a fountain of love.

I lean into them instinctively. Memories of our last encounter flood my mind, washing away the thoughts of pain just for a moment. If I can lose myself in them, in the pleasure they bring me, then perhaps I can overcome this need to leave. I wanted to run, to walk away from my obligations, but that would mean leaving Finn and Jarred, and I can’t do that. Not now, not ever.

Even though we haven’t said the word love yet, I can’t deny that all my heart wants and craves is them. I didn’t think I was capable of feeling something for a man I was practically sold to, but I’ve come to care about Finn. And I’ve grown attached to Jarred. My life has taken a turn, and it is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.

Finn’s hand tangles in mine, while Jarred trails his fingertips over my shoulder. It moves down, over my breast, taunting my nipple with a light brush before he grips my hip. Finn spins me around, while Jarred’s hand follows my torso with his heated touch. The moment I face them, I’m breathless.

“You’re not leaving us,” Finn informs me.

“I didn’t think you wanted me here in the first place,” I tell him, remembering how our relationship started. We’ve come a long way since then, but there are moments, I wonder if what we have is only physical.

Finn stares at me for a long while before he says, “I didn’t want you here. But I don’t know why I can’t let you go.” There is honesty shining in his eyes as he looks at me. “You deserve someone who can give you everything you need,” he tells me. “And I want to be that someone. We want to be that for you.”

I glance at Jarred, who’s watching me. Now that the truth about my mother has been revealed, and the contract torn up, I don’t have to marry Finn. I could walk away. I have my freedom for the first time in a long while. I’ve deleted my social media accounts to start fresh.

I no longer see myself as Zaria Abadi, but as Zaria Thorne. It may be my mind churning out unrealistic thoughts, but I do want Finn. And I want Jarred just as much. That brings a small smile to my face.

“I want this,” I whisper, flicking my gaze to both men. “I didn’t think I would. It’s not the type of person I am, but I feel as if I’m safe here. I feel like myself for the first time in so long. I can be honest with my feelings, show emotion, I can be real.”

Finn captures my cheek in his palm. The touch is gentle, affectionate. “You are real,” he insists. “We will never ask you to be anything other than yourself. I believe that is what a relationship should offer. But you also should be comfortable in your thoughts and feelings. You should have the confidence to love yourself before loving someone else.”

“And if you ever feel as if you’re going to step outside the path and lose yourself, then we’ll bring you back,” Jarred promises with a smile on his handsome face. I can’t deny they make me happy. I want to see how we can grow, how we can turn our three hearts into one.

“Then show me,” I whisper, my voice thick with the need to be with them again. This time, I want more than they taunted me with the first time. “I want everything. I want you both.”

Finn takes my hand and leads me back into the warmth of the manor. Jarred is at my back. With the darkness left behind, I step into the light of Finn’s bedroom.

It’s the first time I have been in here, and I find my gaze flicking around, taking everything in. The room is decked in soft browns and gold. It’s a rich color palette that shimmers with the golden light coming from the nightstand. The glowing bulb offers the space a warmth that no other room in this house has.